The 'Will' Situation
by JhaniiAllii
Summary: Hi I'm Elizabeth Bennet. Yes Elizabeth Bennet, not Jane Bennet, Elizabeth Bennet. You know the quirky, funny, less pretty brunette? Anyway, today is THE day. Today is the day I change the world. Today is the day I make this world a better, happier place for everyone. Today is the day I get over William Darcy.
1. The 'Will' Situation

**Authors Note:  
**** Hiya! It's me again! So I've got a few PM's asking for more Lizzy and Darcy action and you know what, I'm happy to oblige. I wrote this on a whim (Again) and now reading it back I'm not so sure it makes sense. I was writing like a mad man thinking "OMG! OMG! This is going to be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G." And now I'm like "Errr...was I even awake when I wrote this?" So anyway, before I lose the last thread of confidence I'm hanging onto I present (Dun-dun-dun-duuuuun) *In a TV show host voice* THE WILL SITUATION! My very first multi-chap fanfic EVER! *Fangirl scream* So yeah, I hope you enjoy and please please pleeeeaaaaaase review and tell me how to improve or what I'm doing well...  
**

**Lots Of Love (LOL)  
**

**Ally x  
**

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The Will Situation

Ergh Monday! I hate Mondays. Why do they even exist?

Can't we just skip from Sunday to Tuesday? But I suppose then I'd just hate Tuesdays instead…But still, why does it have to be Monday?

"ELIZABETH!" Mum screeched up the stairs "ARE YOU OUT OF BED YET?"

"Yeah" I said rolling over and cuddling up to my sheets.

"NO YOUR NOT!"

Then why ask you crazy woman.

"How do you know?"

Silence spread across the house for a few seconds until loud, heavy footsteps could be heard from the stairs. Schnitzel!

I dived onto the floor, frantically grabbing bits of uniform from my 'floordrobe' (As I like to call it) when Mum burst into the room glaring.

"What on God's Earth are you doing on the floor?"

What does it look like I'm doing? Swimming?

"Erm…Swim-" Mum's piercing gaze cut me off.

"Downstairs for breakfast in five. We're leaving at quarter past. If you're not there we'll leave without you. Got it?"

She was out of the room before I had even answered. I never get why parents do that. Why ask a question and leave before you answer? Parents, boys, sisters…They confuse the hell out of me.

Anyway, I have more important issues to be worrying about this fine morning. For example, my 'floordrobe' seems to have crumpled all of my uniform, Lydia is next door doing an awful cover of 'We found love' by Rihanna and Kitty appears to have stolen my favourite hairbrush, again.

Then there's the fact that it's the first day back at school since the summer holidays which means everyone's going to be talking about their _Totally Awesome Holiday's _while I'm left talking about how I stayed in curled up on my sofa watching the best of BBC (Doctor Who and Sherlock) as well as re-reading the Harry Potter books.

Then, on top of that, there's the Will Situation. Or the 'lack of Will' Situation as Charlotte likes to call it…

Basically, Will is this guy in my class at school. No, sorry, he's not _this guy _he's _the guy_. He's like The man of your dreams multiplied by the speed of light…squared. He's gorgeous…and funny…and kind…and sweet…and clever…and funny…and sweet…and, did I mention that he is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GUY ON THE WHOLE BLOODY PLANET!

Anywho, Will's Mum use to go to college with my Dad. Now she's this famous author (Writer of Willow's Dream, if you haven't read it…What the Hell are you doing with your life?) who's married to this famous guy, who goes by the name of Thomas Darcy (a.k.a. Will's Dad), who owns the biggest publishing company in the whole of England. Anyway, she and my dad are still quite close, and my dad also seems to have, over the years, developed quite a close friendship with Will's dad too.

Due to my Dad being friends with his parents, me and Will have known each other, for like, ever. When we were younger we were thrown upon each other to play and as we got older we were forced to 'study' together while the adults went out.

So me and Will have been friends for quite a few years now. Admittedly, it took a _long _time for us to get there as we argue and bicker like anything, but yeah, were friends. Which on one hand's GREAT and on the other it sucks…like a vacuum. (Yeah I know, my science jokes suck…like a vacuum, sorry I'll stop now)

Because we've known each other for so long and because we've been friends for so long, he never seems to see me as anything more than a _friend._ And that's really really depressing when you've had a huge crush on this guy for the past decade…

I say 'crush' but it's not really. I thought it was at first, I kept on saying _I'll get over this, wait till we get to high school and he hits puberty and goes all spotty and his voice goes all nasally…we'll see how 'fit' he is then…_ But that never happened.

I don't mean he never hit puberty, because he did and boy did I know about it. One day he's all sweet looking and innocent and the next he's tall, dark and mysterious. I think the most annoying thing about that was while the other boys got all hairy and spotty with nasally voices, Will's skin just got smoother and more perfect than before and he's voice…Oh god his voice! It's like frickin' music in my ears…

So yeah, that's my Will situation. It may not seem like much of a 'situation' but trust me IT IS. You think I'm the only one that's noticed that this guy's like heaven on Earth...I think not.

He can't go anywhere without at least 5 girls throwing their phone numbers at him and then another five literally throwing themselves at him. And as if things couldn't get any worse there's Caroline, the local wanna-be WAG, who follows Will around like a lost puppy.

As Charlotte says there is only one solution to this problem. GET OVER HIM. But that is easier said than done. However, this year I am determined.

Today is the day I change the world. Today is the day I make this world a better, happier place for everyone. Today is the day I get over William Darcy.

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**Author's note (Again I know):**

** So what did you think? Did it make sense? Did you understand what I was talking about or was it too blahblahblahblahblah? Any questions etc. Please press the little blue button just underneath! Darcy will love you... :D**


	2. Burying the horse

**Author's Note: **

** Hiya I'm baaacckkk! It's nice to see you all again, ready for the next installment of *Cue TV show host voice* The 'Will' Situation! I hope this Chap's okay cz I'm still sort of editing it. I've re-wrote the last part three times but each time it doesn't seem to fit so I've settled with this one. I've basically just let the characters dance around on the page (Or should I say screen) and I've let the wind take me where it wants to so, yeah, here I am! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Ally xxx  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

** All of it belongs to me. I'm really Jane Austen re-incarneted...pffttt I wish! I own nothing *Wipes tear from eye* I know, tough times, tough times...**

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Burying the horse

"Tea?" Jane asked, pulling me out of my revere.

"Nah, don't like tea" Will likes tea…few drops of milk, two teaspoons of sugar, steaming hot or else its 'not worth drinking' and- STOP STOP STOP!

No more Will Elizabeth, we agreed! We're doing this thing cold turkey! It's been ten years, _ten long years._ If he liked you he would have said by now so let's bury the horse Elizabeth, bury the horse!

"What about coffee?"

I grinned "Now that's more like it."

Dad dropped his newspaper onto the table with a huff.

"What's up duck?" I asked, shovelling cornflakes into my mouth.

"I feel like writing a very _very _angry letter to the writers of the Telegraph."

"Why now?"

"Do you see this" He said unfolding the paper and jabbing it with his finger.

"Is that-"

"Yes! Yes it is! Why they are on the front of the _Telegraph _I have no idea!" He ranted "Who cares! Who really gives a damn if they're getting a divorce! Do I look like I give a damn if they're getting a divorce?"

"By the bulging vein on the right side of your neck, I'd say you do." Mary said coolly, reading through another of her vampire books.

Either Dad didn't hear her or chose to ignore her because his rant carried on.

"If I gave a damn if they were getting a divorce I would have bought a magazine like Heat or OK, not the bloody Telegraph! Back in my day" Various groans were heard from all over the table. "The Telegraph was a newspaper of serious business. And now look! Look! What happened to standards I ask you? What happened?" As if on cue, Mum walked into the Kitchen and grabbed the newspaper out of his hands gasping.

"My goodness! They're getting a divorce! That's awful, just awful. They went so well together didn't they Tim…Tim?" Dad just stared at Mum opened mouthed. Mary coughed back laughter and Jane turned back to the kettle giggling.

"What happened Dad, I ask you what happened?" I said shaking my head while sipping my coffee.

Mum gave me a strange look and went to ask me something before thinking better of it and sitting down next to Lydia.

"So are you all ready for school?"

"Yeah, totally!" She replied with a bit too much enthusiasm.

"Since when did you like school?" Dad asked confused

"Like school? Only _nerds _like school" She scoffed looking directly at me.

"Then what's all the 'yeah totally' about?"

"Err hello I'm like in year eight now."

"And…"

"Everybody digs year eight girls don't they Kitty."

"Yeah they like totally do!" Kitty squealed.

"They 'dig' year eight girls?" I asked making little quote marks in the air. I mean seriously who the hell were 'they'? The lonely year seven kids with the backpacks that are double their size?

"Not on my watch they won't be" Dad grumbled under his breath.

"Of course they will be! Our girls are beautiful!" Mum stopped and looked at me and Mary before adding "At least some of them are anyway."

"So this is what boys do nowadays is it? They 'dig' things." He smirked.

"Don't ask Lizzie!" Lydia cackled "How would she now."

"What's that supposed to mean." Stupid little brat! I know a hell of a lot more than you!

"Well let's face it. Like when was the last time you've had a boyfriend?"

"YOU'VE HAD A BOYFRIEND!" Dad yelled slamming his hands on the table. Everyone stopped and gawped at Dad, who coughed slightly and repeated what he had said, slower and quieter this time.

"No" I scoffed.

"Like she could get a boyfriend anyway" Mum sneered.

"My Lizzie could get any boy she wanted, couldn't you Lizzie?"

"Yes sir" I saluted.

"But you don't want one do you Lizzie."

"No sir"

"Because…"

"Because all boys have cooties sir"

"All except…"

"All except you sir"

Jane and Mary laughed out our little routine whereas Lydia and Mum rolled their eyes.

"You know Tim, when Lizzie dies a lonely, old spinster with twenty three cats you'll only have yourself to blame."

God that woman is so dramatic. I mean really I'm fifteen! I have like how many years left to find 'the one', if they even exist. I mean Will, he's pretty 'the one'-ish…maybe- STOP THINKING ABOUT WILL! He's not worth it. _Are you kidding! Yes he is! _He's ugly and warty _and god damn beauty on legs! _STOP IT! We are going to do this Elizabeth! We're not going to think about him at all. In fact we're not even going to think about not thinking about him.

We're going to bury the horse Elizabeth. B.U.R.Y. .T.H.E. .H.O.R.S.E.

Jane sat down next to Mary at the table, stirring her tea.

"Jane that's got to be stone cold by now."

"I like my tea cool. I hate it when it's piping hot." Will loves it when its pip- STOP IT!

"You're mad and that's disgusting."

Jane just laughed softly and sipped her tea.

"Right then, I'm just going to go and get ready and then we'll be off, okay." Mum said standing up and stretching.

"Yeah, sure mum" Jane answered sweetly.

"Ah" Mum sighed "My beautiful Jane. Whatever shall we do with you?" Here we go.

"Oh I've got a few ideas…" I laughed.

"Elizabeth! Why can't you be more like your sister?" Why can't you try and be a normal, civilized human being. Were you not present at the time of evolution because you act like a flipping ape.

"Because we're not identical twins, remember"

Mum huffed and walked out of the room, muttering about 'respect' and 'big mistakes' and asking herself 'what went wrong'.

* * *

"Right then girls" Mum started, pulling up at the gates "This is the first day of the term and you are looking as beautiful as ever…go get 'em!"

"Are you kidding me?" Mary exclaimed looking up from her book.

"What?" Mum asked confused.

"Most mothers would be like, 'this is your first day of term so make it count' or 'have a nice day' or 'try your best but whatever you do, we'll be proud of you' but no, not you! What does my mum say? Got get 'em! I mean what the hell is that supposed to mean? Go get who? Who!"

"The boys of course!" Mum grinned as if that was oh-so-obvious.

Mary on the other hand didn't look so pleased, and if I'm honest, I couldn't blame her.

Mum seems to have this delusional idea that we need a guy to be happy. Me and Mary beg to differ. I'm sorry but we're teenagers, we're kids, we're still in bloody high school for christ's sake! But yet still at each opportunity mum's trying to hook us up with the opposite sex which DOES MY HEAD IN!

Why do I need a man to be happy? I mean yeah I like Will and everything but I don't need him to be happy. I would, on the other hand, be significantly happier if I _did _have him, but I don't need him…I don't think I do, at least.

Mum thinks that the only way a women can be successful is when she's married with children. She _loathes _these 'independent' women because she says they're to 'head strong' and 'will never get a husband like that'. I don't think she understands that that's the point.

I don't think women need a man in their life. I like to think I'm quite an independent woman myself…at least when I'm not drooling over Will…Okay, so maybe I'm not _that _independent but still, you get the point. My mother just bugs me to the heavens.

"Why do we need boys?" Mary made the mistake of asking.

"Why do you need boys!" Mum screeched "Why do you need boys? What else are you going to do with your lives? You girls" She said pointing at me and Mary "are going to be the end of me! Why can't you be more like Jane, eh? Look at her, bagging herself a lovely rich boyfriend, where as you two. You two!"

I switched off and stared out the window, watching the people walk in and out of the gates. Sounds boring I know but it's a LOT more interesting than Mum's whole 'your selfish and should be ashamed of yourself! Why can't you be more like Jane with Bingley?' rant.

I don't know why she does it because none of us listen. Lydia and Kitty are bickering over some lip gloss that they both claim is theirs, Mary's gone back to reading _eternal,_ and Jane's shifting uncomfortably from side to side in her seat.

She hates it when Mum talks about her and her boyfriend, Charles Bingley, like that; like she's only doing it for the money. Personally, I think mum needs to get some glasses because it's as clear as day that those two are completely loved up.

In fact they're so loved up its sickening.

You'll be trying to eat your lunch and all you can see is them two giving each other the 'bedroom eyes' across the table. Then you'll be messing about with Fitz and Charlotte and all you can here is _I love you _and _I love you more_ in small whispered voices next to you. And GOD it takes sooo long to use the phone after Jane because all you get is _"you hang up first" "No! You hang up first"…_

I mean, yeah okay it's cute, but I'm not really the romantic type (If you hadn't already guessed) so therefore it annoys the hell out of me. I'm not jealous or anything, I'm really happy for Jane, but shesh people! There's a time and a place!

Eventually, Mum's rant was over, so we all piled out of the car and waved goodbye as she drove off.

Good riddance! Finally I could have a day without her squawking down my ear!

"Well, I'll catch you guys later okay" Mary said walking off. Probably towards the library, no doubt.

"Yeah, later losers!" Lydia and Kitty giggled, staggering off to the football pitch to go drool over some boys. And I'm the one who needs to get a life? Actually; don't answer that.

"So I guess it's just me and y-"

"LIZZIE! JANIE! MY GIRLIES!" Me and Jane turned on our heels to see a very tanned Charlotte running towards us with her arms extended. Oh god. Hugs. I hate hugs.

Before I could escape, Charlotte through her arms around us and swung us around.

"Oh my god, oh my god! It's been so long amigos. Where have you guys been? I mean hello, do you guys not check your FB messages. Anyways, that doesn't matter, I have sooooooo much to tell you guys! Spain was like 100% AWESOMENESS!"

Oh schnitzel, I think the cow's crushed my ribs and lungs. I tried mouthing 'can't breathe' to her but I think she thought I was saying 'tell me'.

"You want me to tell you! God I thought you'd never ask!" Finally, she let us go "Okay, where to begin…" She hooked her arms around ours, dragged us through the gates and over to our usual bench, all the way talking about her holiday in Spain.

We were told about the really fit towel boy and the superhot barman who _totally _flirted with her. We were given detailed descriptions of all the hotels, shops and beaches. We even got to see the tan line from her flip flops. (Who the hell gets a tan line from flip flops?)

Twenty minutes later, when she had FINALLY finished telling us about her holiday, (At least for now) she asked about ours.

"So how was summer in Hertfordshire? Miss me much?" She inquired.

"Pft nah. If I'm honest, which I like to think I am, we were glad to see the back of you." Charlotte and Jane playfully hit me on the arm.

"Whatever! Admit it; you were totally lost without me."

Me and Jane exchanged a look, and then burst out laughing.

"Err thanks guys!"

"Anytime" We replied in chorus "Anytime"

We sat in silence for a bit, just absorbing the atmosphere around us. The laughing, the smiling, the wind in the trees, the ball bouncing off the floor and- God, this is my last year, my last year of school. How had I missed that? It's not like I didn't know it was my last year of school, I had always joked that I couldn't wait to be out of this hell hole but once I'm out of here I have NO idea where I'm going. Oh my god…This was my _last year of school…_

"So how's Bingley?" Charlotte suddenly asked out of the blue.

"Oh he's great" Jane blushed "Really great"

"Did you see him much over the holidays?"

"They spent like every second of every day together." I laughed.

"Did not!" Jane's blush slowly got deeper and deeper. Me and Charlotte just rolled our eyes.

"What about you?" She asked turning to me.

"What about me?"

"Did you see Darcy at all over the holidays?" Oh no…

"No, not really"

"What does no, not really mean?"

It means I haven't seen him but I'm trying to ignore the fact that he hasn't tried to contact me for these past six weeks or else I might break down crying.

"It means no…not really." Charlotte just shook her head.

"You mean he didn't phone, text, e-mail…"

"Nope." Just rub it in my face why don't you.

"That's odd…" She turned to Jane "Don't you think that's odd."

"Maybe he's just been really busy." Jane stood up and gestured for us to start walking. School was about to start after all.

"I know but I still thought he would have called." Charlotte replied thoughtfully.

"Why?" Why would he have called, I mean we're just friends so why would he have called … Not that I would've minded a call…In fact I would've loved a- No. No you wouldn't off because you're _over _him remember. Bury the horse Elizabeth. Bury the horse.

"Well it's just- Don't you think he was pretty…err…_attentive _last term."

"No why." Attentive? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Well I know I always say that it probably best you get over him to save you all the heart break and that other crap, but last term he seemed really…"

"Attentive." Jane added.

"Yeah attentive."

Seriously, what the hell did attentive mean?

"What?"

Jane looked at Charlotte, who shook her head.

"Doesn't matter" Okay, something fishy was going on here.

I eyed them both up but they both just gave me innocent smiles that made them look even guiltier.

"So anyway" I said as if we had already been talking "Since we're talking about Darce, I've decided that today is the day."

Jane and Charlotte stopped in the middle of the grassy quad. "What day?"

"The day I get over William Darcy." I said, with my hand clamped on my chest, looking skyward.

While I was standing there, strong and determined, my two _darling _friends were uncontrollably laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You say that" Jane gasped "Every year!"

"And every year" Charlotte Howled "You don't"

"Yeah well this year I am determined! This year I am going to do it. I have spent too much of my life worrying about him." And the fact that HE HASN'T CALLED IN SIX WEEKS! Not that I care because I am totally over him. And he's gorgeous body…and hair…and voice…and eyes…and- Dear Lord those emerald eyes…

"So you are telling me you are going to get over him just like that?" She asked clicking her fingers.

"Yes. Yes I am."

Charlotte went to reply but was stopped by the sound of music coming from the car park. We all turned to look at the source only to see a glossy black convertible pulling into a space. The driver got out of the car and opened the back doors allowing a very orange Caroline and a very sunburnt Charlie out of the car.

Charlie spotted Jane instantly and started waving like a mad man, but Caroline seemed a lot more interested in the figure shutting the passenger door.

Around from the car emerged a tanned, muscly (But not over muscly…muscly in a nice way…a very nice way) Darcy, with his bag slung over his shoulder and his shirt un-tucked.

As he made his way over to Charlie, I felt it. My heart was beating double time and my breath was caught in my throat…

The horse was out of the grave. Oh schnitzel.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

** Was it okay? I hope it was! I would just like to say thank you too everyone who reviewed last time and that it really means a lot too me! Before writing my own fanfic I could never understand why ppl were like REVIEW! REVIEW! But now I get it cz it really helps and motivates you too right, so thanks guys! Also I would like to say if you've got any suggestions, ideas, improvements PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! (I know I'm doing it again) :D****  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	3. The way too shiny shoes

**Author's Note:**

** HIYA! I'm baaaacckkk! I've got to say I'm like mega proud of myself right now! Have you seen how quickly I've updated? I KNOW RIGHT! To be fair it's probably got something to do with the fact that I'm typing a load of Schiznit...By the way, that reminds me, you may see words such as fruggle, schiznit, schnitzel and some others. I know they are not words but I don't swear so they are like my equivalents. Anyways, as always, I hope you enjoy this chapter (Don't forget to tell me what you think!).  
And HAPPY DIAMOND JUBILEE! :D  
**

**Ally xxx**

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**Disclaimer:  
**

**Just in case you mistook me for Jane Austen let me tell you I'm not.** I don't know why I have to say I don't own any of these characters but yeah I don't. :'( I'm just a fan who needs to stop obsessing about Fitzwilliam Darcy because its getting a bit too obsessive :D

* * *

The way too shiny shoes

"Come on! I want to go say hi." Jane said, walking towards the car park with Charlotte not far behind her.

"Hold on, hold on!" I panicked.

They stopped and turned to stare at me.

"What?"

"Err…" Think of something quick! I CAN NOT go down there. I was doing so well…

"Err…?" Jane prompted.

"I need to go to the toilet." What! Since when? That's news to me.

"You need to go to the toilet?"

"Yup…" Out of all of the excuses….

Charlotte arched one of her eyebrows (Again.) while Jane just stood there with her hands on her hips.

I tried doing my sweet innocent smile but I don't think it worked.

"I thought you were over him?"

"Over who…?" Play it cool, Elizabeth, ice cool.

"Will…"

"Oh him- Yeah! See how over him I am? I didn't even realise who you were talki-" Jane and Char grabbed my arms and started pulling me towards the car park. Oh god.

"Okay! Okay! I can walk!" I shouted, maybe a bit too loud, as Will looked over at us and waved.

Oh Em Gee! He waved. Actual wavige. At me! Well at me, Charlotte and Jane, but who cares for details!

Caroline looked over at us and plastered one of those hideous fake smiles over her face.

"Jane!" She said walking towards us with her arms out stretched. Hugs. Again. At least this time I'm pretty confident that that hug WILL NOT be for me. I think pigs will fly in the air doing the can-can the day Caroline hugs me.

"Carey!" Jane exclaimed, running into Caroline's hug.

Ew! How much bleach is it going to take to get her stench of Jane? That girl's to nice for her own God damn good. (Jane, not Caroline)

When Caroline finally stopped swinging Jane around she turned to us and sneered.

"Look what the cat's dragged in" Charming, as always.

"Oh Carol, there's no need to be like that!" Charlotte cooed.

"It's Carol_ine_."

"Where you going for the cheese string look? Coz it really suits you."

"Or did you just get stuck in a packet of extra cheesy Doritos again?" I added.

Man! I'm just too good.

A deep chuckle came from behind Caroline as Will appeared from behind her.

"You haven't changed a bit Elizabeth." He laughed.

He's talking to me. To me. I think I'm going to faint.

Incapable of talking I just grinned like a grinning idiot. (Partly because I am a grinning idiot)

Charlotte looked at me with a look of disbelief, so I grinned at her as well.

"Elizabeth" She said "You amaze me"

"I tend to have that effect on people"

"HA!" Caroline squawked "Is that what you call it!"

Am I the only one who feels like slapping the schnitzel out of her? Surely I can't be the only one…

Jane, who I hadn't even realised, had left, walked towards us hand in hand with Charlie.

"Hi Darcy" She said sweetly "It's nice to see you after so long." For Christ's sake, do we have to keep mentioning the fact that he abandoned me for six weeks? Trying to forget it here!

"It's nice to see you too Jane. It has been long hasn't it?" You're telling me!

"Yeah…" She looked at me knowingly. Cow. "Shall we start heading up?"

"Don't want to be late." Bingley giggled. Yes giggled.

* * *

We walked towards the school in silence until Caroline announced she wanted to go find Louisa (To which me and Char cheered) and that she'd see us at break (To which me and Char booed).

As we watched her walk off Charlotte said, rather loudly. "So Bingley…How were your holidays?"

The question seemed to throw Bingley as he went bright red and started mumbling something about the weather. At least he's got a pretty face. We can't have everything.

Charlotte quietly whispered in my ear 'Thank me later' before skipping to Bingley's side, leaving me and Will alone… Oh Schnoodle.

He looked down at me and smiled sweetly and then started staring at his shoes. To be fair he did have nice shoes. They're always so shiny; I wonder how he keeps them so shiny…?

"How do you keep your shoes so shiny?" OH CRAP! Did I just say that out loud? FRUGGLE!

His eyebrows shot up and he looked at me rather oddly, kind of like I'm mentally unstable. I'm starting to think I am mentally unstable.

"I…Err…bought them like it"

"Oh" Cue awkward silence. I swear I just saw a piece of tumble weed go past. Could this get any worse? You know I don't blame him for not calling. If I was him I wouldn't have called. I would have moved countries, put as much distance between us as possible. _How do you keep your shoes so shiny? _Really Elizabeth? Really?

"So…" He said after what seemed like forever "How were your holidays?"

"Great" I lied. I'm an awesome liar.

"Don't lie." Okay I take it back, I'm an awful liar.

"Fine. I stayed in, watched my DVDs and read my books." Oh and I sat next to the phone for how many hours waiting for you to call WHICH YOU NEVER DID!

Wow! I think I'm getting a bit obsessive…Just a tad…

"Again" He laughed "Let me guess. Sherlock, Harry Potter, Doctor Who and-"

"That was it actually."

"Don't you ever get bored of them?"

"BORED! How can you get bored of them?" What sort of crazy man are you? How can you ever get bored of seeing David Tennant, Matt Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch and Daniel Radcliff on your TV screen?

"Well you always watch the same ones-"

"Because there the best ones!" I interrupted. He just chuckled again.

"You're crazy, did you know that?"

"I'm crazy?" I said pointing to myself. I'm the crazy one? I swear if he can't appreciate the work of J. K. Rowling and the BBC I'm going to seriously have to re-consider this imaginary relationship of ours.

He raised his eyebrow sceptically. I wish people would stop doing that! It's only cool when I do it. Okay, and maybe when he does it…But still!

"Okay, so maybe I am, but only a tiny bit." I put my thumb and finger together to show him how small my craziness is.

"Only a tiny bit" He scoffed quietly, throwing us back into silence.

Well this is going well. So far I've asked him how he gets his shoes so shiny, confessed to having no life and then he called me crazy. Way to go Lizzie, he's really going to want to go out with a crazy girl who sits indoors all day and admires his shoes for their shininess!

"How's Georgiana?" Yes there we go, there's a topic that won't make me look like the deranged idiot I am.

"Oh she's okay." He replied.

"Oh that's good…" Wow, tough crowd "Where is she actually? She didn't come to school with you."

God, some friend you are Lizzie. I can't believe I only just noticed she wasn't here! I blame Will- Will and his bloody good looks.

"Yeah, Gee and Anne are coming with Fitz today. I wanted to get an early start." He blushed then added "There were some people I wanted to see."

Oh. People ay…What sort of people makes you blush Will…?

I swear down if it's Caroline I'll friggin' KILL her. Don't test me boy, don't test me.

"Who?" I asked. Say Caroline and I'll kill you AND Caroline. No joke.

"Oh…" He answered vaguely looking at his shoes again "Just people…"

God stop looking at the shiny shoes dude! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!

"So where are they?"

"Who?" He looked up at me (Finally) with a little crease on his forehead.

"Gee, Fitz, Anne…" Dear Lord, something's distracting him.

"Err, I don't know." He shook his head slightly "They're probably here by now…Then again Fitz is worse than a girl when it comes to the bathroom."

We both laughed thinking of Fitz's impeccable hair and baby soft face.

"I can't imagine that for one second!"

Bless his little cotton socks. He is a tad on the feminine side our Fitz. However, as much as Will likes to laugh about Fitz spending too much time in the bathroom, Gee said Will spends at least 20 minutes in his bathroom (Yes he has an en-suite) trying to fix his hair. I don't see why he bothers, if I'm honest. He has lovely, soft (Not that I've felt it), curly brown locks that seem to have a mind of their own. No matter how many products he puts on them they always end up all over the place. Not in a messy way, god no, in more of an organised chaos sort of way. It suites him. It's cute.

The bell rang, indicating the start of school, and everyone around us started shuffling off to form.

"I better be off." I said, pointing over to my form's block.

"Yeah of course" He sighed before adding "I'll see you later?" He wants to see me later! Swoon!

"Yeah sure." I replied, turning away from him and making my way over to form.

My god. This is going to be one interesting year…

* * *

**Author's Note (Again):**

** TA-DA! Don't you just love Will and his awkwardness...I do...*Swoon* Anyway, as always thank you to everyone who's reviewed it means a lot to me. (Honestly it does) But that doesn't mean you should stop reviewing, oh no, it means you should review EVEN MORE! If you review Darcy will love you!  
**

**I don't know when the next chap will be up because I do have a test to revise for, and homework to do... :/ The updates have been pretty fast I know but thats because I'm on HOLIDAY! Whoop whoop! Hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't a load of rabble!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	4. Charlotte's secret passion

**Author's note:**

** Sorry I've been so long! I know I'm ashamed but I found it really difficult to continue after the last one. I knew where I wanted to end up I just had no idea how to get there...But ah well! Here I am presenting you with (Dun dun dun duuuuunnnnn) Chapter Four of 'The 'Will' Situation'! I'm really happy with your response to the last chapter so I hope you like this one just as much! (By the way, I never got where I wanted! But I prefer this chapter to my original plan!)  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

** Once again, if you thought I was Jane Austen, I'm not. I wish I was but I'm not. I'm just a fan who WORSHIPS HER AT HER FEET! (Not literally)  
**

* * *

**Previously...  
**

The bell rang, indicating the start of school, and everyone around us started shuffling off to form.

"I better be off." I said, pointing over to my form's block.

"Yeah of course" He sighed before adding "I'll see you later?" He wants to see me later! Swoon!

"Yeah sure." I replied, turning away from him and making my way over to form.

My god. This is going to be one interesting year…

* * *

Charlotte's secret passion

"LIZZIE!" Fitz jumped off his chair and ran over to hug me.

"Don't even think about it!" I warned, pointing my finger at him menacingly.

Why do people want to hug me? Do I look huggable? Err no, didn't think so.

"Nice to see you as always darling." He said, hugging me anyway.

God, I think I'm suffocating! How much aftershave does one person need?

"Did you have a nice summer?" I asked when he'd finally stopped hugging me.

Ergh! I can taste his aftershave. For the record, Lynx tastes vile. Absolutely vile.

"Yeah it was good. You know same old, same old…Just chilling wid ma homies" He pulled out a chair, turned it around and then sat on it; backwards. Dear Lord…

"Don' _ever _say that again. _EVER!" _

"What? Why not?"

"_Why not? _Did you just ask me _why not?_" He's joking right? Surely he's joking.

"Just because I'm _down_ with it." Gut Gott Im Himmel, the man's serious.

"Honey, you're as bout as 'down with it' as an aeroplane."

Fitz stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry. Oh yeah, he's _really _down with it.

"Very mature Fitz..."

"Excuse me, I'm so mature I'm extra mature cheddar." He grinned as I hit him. Man I love this guy!

"Hey dudes" Charlotte pulled up a chair next to me as Bingley and Jane sat down opposite, next to Fitz.

"Oh guys" Fitz wiped an imaginary tear from his eye "This is just so beautiful."

"What the fudge are you on about." Charlotte asked

"What the fudge are you on _about?" _I said "It's more like, what the fudge are you _on?"_

"Look at us" He carried on, ignoring me and Char "We're all here, back together, reunited as one." He waved his fists as he said 're-united' in what, I think, he thought was a 'meaningful' way.

We just sat there, stunned into silence, until Charlotte said.

"Crack. Defiantly crack."

"Nah. It's gotta be something stronger." I laughed.

"Gosh people" He clutched his chest. Man I forgot how dramatic the boy is "That really hurt. Here I am trying to be all sweet, friendly and nice and this is the response I get?"

You know, in life I have learnt that some questions aren't worth answering. For example when Lydia asks me "Does this dress make me look fat?" you know that if you say no she'll say "YES IT DOES YOU LIAR!" but if you say yes she'll say "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" It's one of those, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't situations, and this, believe it or not, was one of those times.

So we all did what we thought was best. We ignored him.

"Did you see that programme on TV the other day?" I asked.

"Sorry babe but you're going to have to be more specific." Char grinned. God I hate it when she calls me babe. I'm not her 'babe'. Do I look like a baby? Do I look like a pig? I am not any one's babe and I will not be any ones 'babe'!

Except maybe Will's…I wouldn't mind being Will's babe…Now that wouldn't be _such _a hardship….

"The BBC period Drama"

"Oh my god! You actually_ watch_ those?" Char said, horrified.

"Yeah…" I swear, what is every ones issue with the BBC? I love the BBC! Though, to be fair, I have free view so I have no choice BUT to love the BBC…but still…How can you hate something that brought you Drama's such as Great Expectations and The Mystery of Edwin Drood, Children's programmes such as Horrible Histories and Tracey Beaker, Comedy programmes such as Mock of the Week, Would I lie to you, and Live at the Apollo! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE I ASK YOU! WHAT!

"Man, you need to get a life!" Hold on! _I_ need to get a life? _I _need too…

"Coming from you!" She's kidding right?

"Err…yeah! I mean hello, what did you spend your holidays doing?"

"Just because I like to indulge in the classics literature has to offer" I said in my best I'm-so-much-better-than-you voice.

"_Indulge in the classics literature has to offer? _You spent six weeks drooling over Benedict and-"

"LEAVE BENEDICT OUT OF THIS!" I yelled pushing Char off her chair.

"OW! What the hell you delusional little cow-bag!" Char lunged at me, pinning me to the floor.

"Delusional?" How dare she…

Fitz jumped on his chair screaming "GIRL FIGHT! GIRL FIGHT! My dreams have come true!"

Me and Charlotte stopped cat slapping each other and looked up at Fitz.

"I think he's getting a bit too much enjoyment out of this." Charlotte whispered. I was too busy laughing and the terrified expression on both Bingley's and Jane's faces to hear.

"Hey _babe_" I smirked "Do you mind getting off me now. I know you want to be close to me and everything, but seriously, control your longing for me. We're in public." Charlotte scoffed before her eyes flashed mischeviously.

"I'm sorry Lizzie" Char said dramatically "I just couldn't stand seeing you sitting there looking all beautiful." She licked her lips and winked at me.

And I'm the delusional one…? Good Lord...

"Char seriously I'm flattered and everything but-"

"Come on Lizzie, I can't hold it in any longer." The girl's MAD! Funny but MAD!

"But Charlotte!" I said 'gasping' "Whatever will our Mothers say?"

"Who cares!" She sighed "As long as I love you and you love me, what does it matter what anyone else thinks?" Tears started leaking out the side of my eyes due to my suppressed laughter. I forgot Char was so random and funny! "Now come here baby" She said in a husky voice "Pucker up-"

"Elizabeth what on Earth are you doing on the floor?" Oh my god. There is only one person I know who has such a deep, musical voice… Please let it be anyone but him...

Will stood there looking down at me and Charlotte with an expression, that I could only describe as being utter shock, on his face.

Charlotte's jaw dropped and she leapt off me, leaving me lying on the floor looking like a rabbit caught in headlights.

Fitz, Jane and Bingley looked like they were about to explode holding in their laughter. I swear, as soon as I'm off this floor I'm going to kill them. I am going to skin them. I am going to turn them into pretty little shoes. (Once I'm through with Charlotte that is).

Could this day get any worse? I am lying on the floor (In front of Will's very shiny shoes) with a rumpled shirt, a skirt that's halfway up my thigh and hair that looks like a lion's mane on the floor. And on top of all of that (As if that wasn't enough) Will is looking at me with this intense edge in his eyes. Someone kill me now. I am _begging _you.

"Err…." Say something, anything "You've grown…" NOT THAT!

Bingley snorted and Fitz burst out into loud fits of hysteria. Jane pressed her lips into a tight line knowing that if a speck of laughter leaves her mouth, her life will not be worth living. Charlotte (Who knew her life was already not worth living) was mouthing sorry to me frantically.

Well guess what Charlotte, SORRY doesn't help!

I mean this would only ever happen to me. Only I could be lying on the floor underneath Charlotte, who was pretending to do god knows what on top of me, when who walks in? Will! WILL FRICKIN DARCY!

"Yeah…people tend to do that…" His forehead creased as he looked at me sceptically. I should probably explain…

"That's nice" Or not.

Will bent down and offered me his hand, which just made Fitz and Bingley laugh even harder.

When I had dreamt all those times of Will offering me his hand in my time of need, this scenario had never really crossed my mind…

"Thanks" I muttered as he pulled me up to my feet. If this wasn't one of the most embarrassing moments of my life I would probably comment on soft yet rough his skin felt, or how warm it was, or how sparks of electricity went shooting up my arm as soon as his skin touched mine, but it was…so I won't.

I smoothed out my skirt and dusted off my shirt, feeling the heat rush to my cheeks. Man I must look a state…At least Caroline's not here; _that_ would have been truly horrific.

"Are you okay?" Will asked, his forehead still creased.

"Yeah…" At least Will seemed to relax a little bit, unlike Fitz who had tears streaming down his face. Doosh.

"Err…" Will seemed a little lost for words. Can't say I blame him, it's not every day you see two girls rolling around on the floor pretending to make out. After a minute of painstaking silence Will turned to Fitz. " I came to give you this" He pulled a phone out of his pocket and gave it to a (Still) hysterical Fitz.

"Thanks" Fitz managed to wheeze.

"This is nice isn't it…?" Charlotte started awkwardly until my piercing gaze shut her up.

Will nodded, blushing slightly.

"Well, I, erm, better be off…" Will said, still looking slightly freaked out "I guess I'll see you later."

He gave an awkward wave before walking out the room shaking his head.

As soon as the door was shut everyone looked at me and burst out laughing; again.

I, on the other hand, just stood there mortified.

Please tell me that was a dream…Please let it just be a dream…

'_It was a dream'_, I repeated in my head like a mantra, _'and I'm going to wake up any second now.'_

But my still hot cheeks told me otherwise.

Someone up there must really hate me. I mean _really_ hate me…

* * *

**Author's note (Yes again):**

** Ta-Da! What did you think? Hope you liked it, I tried my best! :D By the way incase anyone's confused Lizzie and Charlotte are NOT going out, they do NOT fancy each other and they are NOT lesbians. Just in case you didn't quite understand :p As always, thank you to all of those who reviewed the last three chapters and please please please review this one to tell me what you thought! Any criticism or encouragments would be welcome (As long as they're justified!)  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	5. A gift from Messina

**Author's Note:**

** Heya! I'm back again! Hee-hee! I've got another Chapter for you that hopefully will be a LOT less awkward and a LOT less cringeworthy (If that's even a word) than the last one! I'm currently working on Chap six so if you have any advice you know what to do...READ AND REVIEW! Haha that rhymes! Anywho on with the story..*Show host voice* Presenting Chapter 5 of (Dun dun duuuunnnn) THE 'WILL' SITUATION! Hope you enjoy :D  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

** Here we go...*Takes a deep breath*, no I'm not Jane Austen, no I don't own Elizabeth Bennet, ****no I don't own** Charlotte Lucas, **no I don't own** Jane Bennet, **no I don't own** Charles Bingley, **no I don't own** Richard Fitzwilliam, THANK GOD I don't own Collins but yes I do own Fitzwilliam Darcy...HE IS ALL MINE SUCKERS! ...Okay so he's not mine either :'(

* * *

Previously...

As soon as the door was shut everyone looked at me and burst out laughing; again.

I, on the other hand, just stood there mortified.

Please tell me that was a dream…Please let it just be a dream…

_'It was a dream'_, I repeated in my head like a mantra, _'and I'm going to wake up any second.'_

But my still hot cheeks told me otherwise.

Someone up there must really hate me. I mean _really_ hate me…

* * *

A gift from Messina

I shuffled down the corridor, hanging my head in shame. I am officially a pathetic excuse of a human being.

"Oh come on Lizzie, it wasn't_ that_ bad" Jane said, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly "It could've been worse."

"How…?" If one more person tells me _it wasn't that bad_ or _I'm sure he'll forget about it_ or _it could've been worse, _I think I will scream.

"Well…you could've-"

"Jane" I held up my hand to stop her from talking "Please don't"

"I'm sure he didn't notice" Jane tried again.

Was that supposed to be a joke? How could he not have noticed? I WAS ON THE FLOOR UNDERNEATH CHARLOTTE!

My sour expression prevented Jane from trying again, so we walked down the corridor together in silence.

Bingley, Fitz and Char all had different lessons first so we had all agreed to meet up at our usual place at break. I think I might have to find some excuse to get me out of that…Will will probably be there and I don't think I can face him with Fitz's jokes and Bingley's snorts (I mean seriously? Who snorts?) …maybe I'll 'accidently' lose something that will take me _all _of break to find… That's not so hard to believe; I do, after all, have a reputation for losing things.

Jane opened the door to the French class room and stepped inside with me not far behind her.

Looking around the classroom I could see it was going to be a pretty dull lesson but if I'm honest, I need a bit of relaxing time to get over the mortification of the morning…

I sat down at the desk at the very back of the class, while Jane sat one desk in front (We always liked to stay close in lessons, I don't know it's a twin thing), hoping for a nice peaceful lesson when the last person I wanted to see walked through the door…And no, before you say, it wasn't Will. In fact I would prefer to face a hundred Wills than one of this guy…

"Elizabeth" He said in that god-awful nasally voice of his "It's so nice to see you"

And just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, Collins turns up to prove me wrong.

I looked up to see him standing bang in front of my desk with one of those horrible smiles plastered across his face.

"Yeah…you too Collins…" Why didn't anyone kill me when I asked them too? It would've have saved me the torture I'm going through now.

"It's been so long Elizabeth!" He exclaimed "Though I must say" He winked "you're looking even more beautiful this term than last." Okay, that's it. Someone get me a bucket, I think I'm going to be sick.

"I…err…Thank you I suppose…" You know when you wish that the Earth would just open up and suck you in…yeah that.

"Is anybody sitting there?" He said, pointing to the empty seat next to me. Schnoodle. I can't put up with another five minutes of Collins, let alone a whole bloody year! God, if you're up there HELP ME! Send me a gun, a Taser, an angel, ANYTHING!

Suddenly a tall figure stepped around Collins and walked to the space next to me.

"Hey Lizzie, thanks for saving the seat for me" What the…Will? Will Darcy? Where did he come from?

"Err…" Will pulled the seat out next to me and sat down.

Since when did he take French? Since when was he in my class? Since when was I saving a seat for him? SINCE WHEN DID HE WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME?

"The seat" He said slowly, like he was talking to a baby "I asked you to save me a seat this morning…" I can remember exactly what he said this morning and I don't recall any talk of seats.

He raised one eyebrow as if to say _are you really that stupid? _Needless to say, I think I am.

Collins looked at me longingly (EW!) then glared at Will.

"I didn't realise you took this class Darcy." He said in what I think he thought was a 'menacing' voice.

Man boys are confusing.

"I was moved out of my last French class and put into this one." He replied sternly.

"How come?" Collins sneered.

"I dont see how that's any of _your _business." Oooh CAT FIGHT!

Will and Collins stared each other out. If I wasn't so confused I probably would have found this pretty hilarious, but I was, so I didn't.

"Well" Collins said after what seemed like an eternity "I guess I'll catch you later then Lizzie."

"Err…" Oh god, my head hurts. I'm over here!

Collins cast one last glare in Will's direction and a smile in mine before walking to the front of the class and sitting down at a desk. Will just chuckled. And for me, that was the last straw.

"Okay, what's so funny?"

"You" Damn it! I knew this was coming…I bet this is going to be about this morning…Think of an excuse Lizzie…QUICK! I…err…dropped my pen and Charlotte fell on top of me? Fruggle! This is harder than it looks!

"Why what have I done now?" Cringe…

"You look so confuzzled." He laughed. Wow. Did he just say confuzzled? Only I say confuzzled.

"Did you just say _'confuzzled'_?" I have got to be hearing things…

"Ha!" He laughed (again) "Yeah I guess I did…You must be rubbing off on me!" I'm rubbing off on him…Ahh…Swoon…

He smiled at me and then started unpacking his stuff onto the desk humming. Gosh, someone's in a good mood…

"You're in a good mood" Drat! I really need to stop thinking aloud.

He grinned, showing off his perfect pearly teeth "Why shouldn't I be?"

"Well…"

"Look. It's a nice morning, the sun is shining and I managed to get the seat I want." His smile broadened towards the end of his sentence. Seat he wanted? What?

He chuckled quietly. (Damn, he really is in a good mood) "You still look really confused." Well done Sherlock…

"Maybe that's because I am really confused."

"About…?" About? What do you mean _about_! You've just swanned into my class, sat down next to me in the seat I 'saved' for you (Which I didn't), you stared out Collins, you're yet to mention anything about what happened this morning, and while you're usually all quite, reserved and shy you're sitting here openly laughing and teasing me! So yeah, sorry if I'm a _bit _confused!

"Well for starters, why are you here?"

"Like I told your _dear _friend Collins" Dear! Was that a joke? "I got moved into this class."

"Okay…" One question down, another, like, 220 to go. "Why are you sitting in that chair?"

"Because I needed somewhere to sit." Don't make me play good cop bad cop mister…

"Yeah I know but why _that _seat." I pointed to the chair in question.

He looked at me, with his eyebrows knitted together, as if he was looking for something. Whatever it was, if he was looking for something that is, he must not have found it because he sighed and said "Do you not want me to sit here?" His face fell slightly at the words.

Would he be upset if I didn't? Does he really want to sit next to me? Oh god…I can feel a fan girl scream coming on…Breathe, breathe…Play it cool Elizabeth, play it ice cold.

"Yeah I do, I'm just saying…" After my display this morning, I can't see why you'd want to be within a five mile radius of me!

"You look like you needed some help." He pointed to Collins "Unless of course I read the signs wrong and you did actually want to sit next to him" He stroked his chin thoughtfully "I can call him back if you like?" He went to stand up but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the chair.

"Oh no you don't."

"Are you sure?" He grinned. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind." A happy and playful; I likey…

I nodded my head.

"Well then" He sighed dramatically "It looks like you're stuck with me all year-"

I'M SO EXCITED! AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT! I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I THINK I LIKE IT!

"Sorry, what were you saying…?" I asked, trying to contain my excitement. I heard up to the 'all year' bit…and then I got a, err, bit distracted…

"Doesn't matter." He smiled, blushing. I've noticed that he's blushed a LOT today…Maybe it's the heat…it is pretty hot…Or maybe he's just sun burnt from the holidays, which reminds me…

"So what did you get up to over the holidays?" Oh my god, did I just ask him what he got 'up to'? Charlotte was right; I do need to get a life.

"Nothing much…" Oh. But yet you still couldn't call…? Oh yeah mister, I'm still angry about that!

"Really?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Well, we travelled a lot." He looked down at his hands and blushed (AGAIN).

"Oh where'd you go?"

"Err…Well first we went back to Derbyshire" [_Okay 1. Derbyshire]_ "Then we went to Paris for a week" [_2. Paris]_ "Then we went to Sicily for another week" [_3. Sicily]_ "Then Venice for 3 days" [_4. Venice (Wow this is a long list)]_ "Then Florence for another 3 days" [_5. Florence (Bloody hell!)]_ "Then Kent for a week to visit my Aunt" [_6. Kent (And he said nothing much!)]_ "And then finally Derbyshire again, then here."

Wow. Okay, I'll admit it…My holidays were pretty crap compared.

"Gosh, that's a lot! I bet Paris was nice; I've always wanted to go there! And Florence and Sicily and Venice!" He's so lucky!

"I know you have…" He twiddled with his thumbs on the desk, his cheeks still slightly flushed.

We sat there in silence for a while, Will staring at the table and me at the clock. Seriously where was our teacher, Madame Fernby? Class should've started by now…

"I've got you something" Will said out of the blue, pulling his bag onto the table "It's not much but-"

He pulled out a small, neatly wrapped parcel and gave it to me. I stopped breathing.

He's brought me something… He didn't call but…he brought ME something…

Oh my goodness…I can't breathe…I think I'm having a mini heart attack (Can you have a mini heart attack?)…

I held it in my hands gently, just staring. He had brought me something! HE HADN'T FORGOTTEN ME!

It feels like a book…Is it a book? He did say it wasn't much but to be fair I wasn't expecting anything so LA!

"Open it then" He smiled showing his dimples. God I love those dimples.

Slowly I put my finger under the paper and ripped it off, leaving a small, antique looking book in my hands.

It was beautiful.

The book itself was dark brown and the cover was made out of a leathery material. Patterns in vibrant coloured cloth and thread had been sown on and jewels glittered from the surface. Although the pages were brown and fragile with age and the cover was torn slightly at the edges, it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen…It was magical.

"Do you like it?" He asked, eagerly waiting for a reply. However, I couldn't give him one.

At the moment I'm a little too awestruck to be answering obvious questions. How could I not like it?

"If you don't that's okay" He rushed "It's just I know it's your favourite play" [Play? What play?] "So I thought you'd like it. I got it second hand from a man in the market in Messina-"

"Hold up" I interrupted "Messina?"

"Yes. Messina in-"

"Sicily." I interrupted again "But isn't that where…"

"Much Ado is set" He breathed " Yes, I know"

I opened the book to see the title _Much Ado About Nothing _in swirly italics across the page.

He had brought me my favourite play…my god...

Much Ado About Nothing is a favourite of mine, although I adore Shakespeare it is one of the only plays I have read from start to finish without having to be forced too or having to seek help understanding it. I clicked with the characters instantly, I felt like I was there, I felt like I was them.

Will had never liked the play; he said he couldn't understand it and it made no sense. (To which I replied 'your face makes no sense'. I know…burn…) He just couldn't understand how the love between Benedick and Beatrice and Hero and Claudio was at all romantic. Normally I would agree (I hate romantic stuff, it makes me feel queasy) but this play was an acceptation. To me the love between Beatrice and Benedick was the sweetest of all.

Mum and Dad, as a joke, said that when I was older I would probably be like Beatrice. I'd have no time for romance and love; I'd just be happy living life. Will's parents had also said the same about him but instead of him being Beatrice they compared him to Benedick.

As soon as our parents found out the other's joke it became a whole 'family' joke. (We're not actually family but you know…)

For years now me and Will have been the _Benedick and Beatrice _of the group. They said we argue like anything but one day we'll realise there's a _passion _behind the hatred. It was just a joke but oh how right they were…

So for Will to buy me this of all plays means a lot to me…The fact that he's bought me anything almost wants to make me cry tears of joy, but this…

"So…What'd you think?" Will asked.

"It's beautiful." I said, stroking the worn pages "Thank you so much."

"I thought you'd like it" He replied softly "Mum said 'buy her something from the shops, look at all the jewellery' but I said 'no mum, she'll like this. She's weird like that.'"

"You were doing so well up until the 'she's weird like that' part." I laughed.

I wrapped the book back up in its paper and then put it carefully into my bag.

I actually can't believe he brought me a present. And not only did he buy it but he actually put thought into what he was buying. Dear Lord, I was supposed to be getting over him…Now I'm in even deeper than when I started…

The door opened and Madame Fernby walked into the class room, apologising profusely for being late.

Not that I can hear a word of what she's saying. My head is rather full of Will right now… And I think it will be for a while longer…

* * *

**Author's Note (AGAIN!):**

** Thank you as always to everyone who reviewed and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't stop reviewing! :D I'm not sure how long you or I want me to continue this story. So I was wondering if I could have your opinion...Should it just be a short funny fanfic or should I throw in a bit of Drama to see how our Crazy Lizzy and Awkward Will would cope? Any suggestions would be welcome so please tell me what you think! Because don't forget...Wickham could turn up at any moment and spoil things... Hee-hee...**

**Ally xxx**


	6. Flying with the Fairies

**Author's Note:**

** So so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry its taken sooooo long for an update. I would say I've got an excuse but other than exams and writers block (Like serious writers block) I've got nothing. I'm not as pleased with this chapter but I kind of needed a bridge to get to the next chapter if you get what I mean. I think Chap 7 is going to be from Will's point of view...it would be nice to get into Will's head for a little bit, don't you think? I've decided for the time being to leave Wickham out and to continue the story as a light 'When boy meets girl' kinda thing. Sorry if that's not what you wanted but you know...Things could change..I'm just sooo changeable (Haha Moriarty! Lets all Moriparty!). Anyway...here's Chapter Seven of (Dun dun dun duuuuunnnn) *Cue Showy Voice* THE 'WILL' SITUATION! Ta-Da!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

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**Disclaimer: **

**Go to the previous chapter and read it there. I seriously can't be bothered to write it out again... :D****  
**

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_Previously:  
_

_I actually can't believe he brought me a present. And not only did he buy it but he actually put thought into what he was buying. Dear Lord, I was supposed to be getting over him…Now I'm in even deeper than when I started…_

_Madame Fernby walked into the class and started apologising profusely for being late._

_ Not that I can hear a word of what she's saying. My head is rather full of Will right now… And I think it will be for a while longer…_

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Flying with the Fairies

_The rain poured down around us as me and Will stood face to face, hand in hand, in the middle of nowhere._

"_In vain I have struggled." Will started, stepping closer to me. "It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you… " His words drifted off as his hand caressed my face._

"_Tell me what Will? Tell me what?" I gazed into those emerald pools, drowning in their depth._

"_You must allow me to tell you" He said again, his lips moving closer to mine, his breath ragged "How ardently I-"_

"ELIZABETH BENNET! ARE YOU LISTENING TO A WORD I AM SAYING?" Mum yelled, pulling me out of my revere.

Say what…? What'd I miss?

"YOU RUDE, ARROGANT, PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A-" Mum carried on yelling while I switched off, trying to get back into my dream.

Damn woman pulling me out of my dream…

"_You must allow me to tell you" He said again, his lips moving closer to mine, his breath ragged "How ardently I-"_

"- TALKING TO YOU FOR A WHOLE FIFTEEN MINUTES, AND WHERE YOU EVEN LISTENING? NO!-"

Good Lord…All mothers should come with an 'on' and 'off' button. It would make life so much easier. I need to hear what Will was going to say! I hate this...you know when you can still feel the dream but its fading and you can't get back into it...yeah that. Anyway... back to my lovely (Or whats left of my lovely, but fading) Will...

"_You must allow me to tell you" He said again, his lips moving closer to mine, his breath ragged "How ardently I-"_

"EVEN NOW AS I TALK TO YOU YOU'RE-"

Oh God shut up! Give it a rest… Trying to think here. I mean who is she even yelling at. Does she not realise that I have had a hard, stressful day at school? She says her life is hard… Try living as me for a day!

I spent my morning successfully mortifying myself in front of Will. I spent my break trying to avoid Fitz whose aim was to mortify me further. The next two lessons I spent doodling all over my margin, daydreaming about…Well that doesn't matter…

At Lunch I queued up for a whopping 10 minutes to buy a chocolate muffin, only to discover they had none. Then I bought a cookie instead (Which was disgusting. What sort of madman puts banana in cookies?) And sat with the 'gang' as we caught up on what we did on the holidays. After getting sick of hearing the constant digs coming from Fitz about mine and Charlotte's display that morning I turned and spoke to Gee, Mary and Anne (Who were quite funny) about who was hot; Daniel Radcliffe (Yes), Justin Bieber (NO!), Benedict Cumberbatch (HELL YEAH), Harry Styles (No), Ed Sheeran (Voice- Yes, Face- No), Jon Richardson (Err YEAH), Noel Fieldings (No, just no) and Aston Merrygold (Noooo….). I then had to kick Mary under the table (Which really hurt my toe) when she tried to ask me if I wanted to add Darcy to the list. (In front of Georgiana as well!)

The next lesson was spent having a whispered conversation with Fitz and Char and the last lesson I spent staring at Will (Who sat in front of me. How lucky!) And insulting Caroline who sat next to Will (Okay, maybe not so lucky).

See! Stressful day much…Err yeah! So the least mum could do was lay off a little bit. She's been yelling for the past eight minutes now. I think my ear drums are literally going to burst.

"What's going on?" Jane asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Mums gone off on-" I started before I was interrupted by a screech from my _dear darling _mother… (Notice the sarcasm?)

"HOW DARE YOU!" Here we go… "Why can't you be more like your sister!" Again, because we're not identical twins…

"I'm sure she didn't mean it…" Jane said softly.

"I'd bet my life she did! She is a vindictive, sly little thing!" VINDICTIVE SLY LITTLE THING! How rude…

Dad walked into the room sighing.

"What's the problem now…"

"That child of yours, that's what." She said stabbing a finger in my direction.

"That child of mine?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, yours." Mum replied frustrated "Always causing trouble."

"Oh I see…" He looked at me and winked "I just could've sworn you gave birth to her that's all. Clearly I'm mistaking you for another woman Faye. Silly me…"

Mum glared at dad with an intensity that could melt steel, but Dad, who was accustomed to the steel glare, carried on. "Come on Lizzie" he said hitting me with his newspaper "Best get you home to your mother, whoever she is…Actually, I believe her name was Emily…No Emma…or was it Holly? I've never been good with names."

He sat down next to me and unfolded the newspaper, lying it down on the table in front of us.

"Mr Bennet! Can't you just be serious for once in your life?" Mum demanded, angry that things weren't going her way.

"Oh I am…." He opened the first page of the paper "I am nothing but Earnest my darling."

He smirked at his seething wife, while me and Jane stifled a laugh.

After huffing loudly, Mum stormed out the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Temper, temper…" Dad muttered.

"Oh Papa" Jane laughed "Why do you tease Mama so?"

"Tease? I do not tease… I merely…Twist her words slightly and give them back to her."

"But you know she hates it."

"And she knows I hate hearing about what Mrs Lucas and your Aunt Phillips thought of_ Alex's new boyfriend_ or _Annabel's hideous dress_, yet she insists on telling me over and over and over and over again"

"Good grief Papa" I chortled "How do you put up with it?"

"In all honesty" He leaned forward and whispered in my ear "I don't know."

Oh Dad! You do make me laugh!

He is truly a hoot and a half! Why he married my mother I have NO idea.

I think that is one thing I'll never understand about love and marriage…How on Earth it got my mum and dad together.

"So you're reading the Independent now." Jane said, looking at his newspaper.

"Oh yes. I have vowed never to touch the Telegraph again. At least not after this morning's story. Getting a divorce…I ask you…Anywho, how was school?"

Will gave me a present, I asked him how he got his shoes so shiny, I pretended to make out with Charlotte on the floor (Only to be spotted by Will), I spent a whole hour and ten minutes staring at Will, another fifteen dreaming about Will and an hour actually sitting next to Will. On top of that I spent eight minutes trying to figure out where Will gets his cologne from, six minutes wondering how much exercise he does to make his body so godly and THE WHOLE DAMN DAY WONDERING WHY I CAN'T GET THE MAN IN QUESTION OUT OF MY HEAD!

Hhmmm…Probably shouldn't tell my Dad that…I think I'll settle for…

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yup…" Dad raised his eyebrows as if to say 'I know you're lying' but didn't bother asking me about it. Instead he turned and spoke to Jane about her not-so-eventful day, leaving me to think about my way-too-eventful one.

Why could I never just have a normal day at school? I'd only been back a day and already I had enough stories to write a bloody novel.

And why does everything that could go wrong go wrong for me. What have I ever done to deserve it…?

Well I've done a few things but still…

I mean how is this even possible…I was determined that today would be the day! The day I got over William Darcy and yet here I am sitting at my dining table even deeper in than I was this morning. HOW!

Why does he have to be so flipping flawless? Why I ask you why?

Is it not enough that his got the voice, the face and the body of a god? You had to go and give him the personality of one too!

He would be wasted on some one like Caroline…Utterly wasted.

She thought the TARDIS was another equivalent to LOL, that Dumbledore was an elf and that Spock was out of Star Wars! STAR WARS! See what I mean…?

Whereas me; I'd appreciate him, every bit of him. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even like him, in fact I don't think she does. She doesn't want to go out with him; she wants to go out with his money. That, in itself, is a crime.

How can you not want to go out with a guy like Will Darcy? He is perfect in every way! Like Mary Poppins! Ha-ha! I love Mary Poppins! It's been so long since I've watched that. As a child it was my favourite Disney film until Mary (My sister not Poppins) pointed out it that she was clearly a witch (Poppins this time, not my sister). After that, the film kind of freaked me out but hey-hey it's still a classic!

Anyway, what was I saying again…?

Oh yeah! Caroline is a cow! A big fat ugly cow that looks like it's been ran over then reversed on and then ran over and reversed on again.

In fact Caroline's so ugly even Voldemort wouldn't say her name. She's so fat the sorting hat had to put her in all four houses. She's so fat she makes Hagrid look like Mini-Me. She's so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge. She's so fat…yeah you get the point. ERGH! She annoys me so much!

It's not like I'm jealous or anything, like why would I be jealous of her, it's just-

"What's up Liza? You're awfully quiet." Dad asked, bringing me back to reality.

Oh I don't know…I'm just thinking of the top ten ways to kill Caroline. You know, the usual.

"Nothing really. Just thinking…"

"What have I told you about thinking?" He said, drinking a cup of coffee I didn't even realise he had. Oops. How long was I out for? "Thinking is bad for the brain."

"How?" Jane asked laughing.

"It just is Jane. Everybody knows that."

"Dad." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder "I'm saying this because I care…You're crazy"

"I'm not crazy" He chuckled.

"My reality is just different to yours" We all said in chorus. We knew Dad well enough to know his crazy little ways. I don't mind them; in fact I love them. They're like a breath of fresh air on a rainy day.

"Anyway; you two off to bed. Your mother will kill me if I let you stay up any later."

"But Papa…" We whined.

"No. You know the rules, I shall not be swayed so Lizzie you can stop with the puppy dog eyes and Jane you can put the bottom lip away. Off to bed." He kissed each of us on the forehead and then left the room after biding us goodnight.

Hang on...I thought we were going to bed. Why's he left?

"Sly dog." Jane laughed, picking up his coffee cup. "He left us a gift."

I looked over at the mountain of washing up and the still empty dishwasher. Cunning little man leaving us to load it on his day...

"Well I'm shattered." I said 'yawning' "See you in the morning."

Before she could answer I was out the room. That probably was a bit mean but Janes kind...She won't mind... Plus Dad did it first and you know what they say...

Father like daughter…

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**Author's Note (Yes...Again): **

** I hope you all didn't hate it, sorry if you did but I tried my best. I kind of wrote myself into a corner on Chapter 6 so...yeah I tried... Anyway, I'm still thinking about the next Chap being from Will's POV, review or PM and tell me what you think or if you've got any ideas, because TRUST ME they would be welcom :D Someone did suggest to me (Who I can't remember- Sorry I have a reaalllyyy bad memory) that I should take them on a school trip which I think is an AWESOME idea! Lizzie + Darcy + Camping can only = TROUBLE! And a lot of it! Thank you to all of those who reviewed last Chapter, it really does motivate you to write *Hint, hint* (I know I'm as subtle as Caroline right?). Please please please keep on R&R...Darcy will love you forever...Again... *Smiles sheepishly* He-he... :p****  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	7. A Battle of Wit

**Author's Note: **

** Ha-ha *Nervous Laugh* It's been a while hasn't it..? ...I am SOOOOO sorry I haven't updated! You have no idea how bad I'm feeling right now! :( By the way, I've decided not to do this Chap from Will's POV due to some very handy advice from a review. The person informed me that they thought it would spoil it if you knew what Will was thinking and Lizzie didn't so...yeah..sorry about that... *Dodges the chairs and random objects being thrown at her* HOWEVER! I will do a Chapter from William's Point Of View I am just not going to tell you when. It will kind of make sense if I do what I'm planning but then again...Nothing I do goes to plan... :/ Anywho, I present to you *Fanfair trumpets* The 'Will' Situation Chapter Seven! Hope you enjoy!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

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**Disclaimer: **

**Will (A.K.A Fitzwilliam Darcy) is mine. End of.****  
**

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Previously:**  
**

_I looked over at the mountain of washing up and the still empty dishwasher. Cunning little man leaving us to load it on his day..._

_"Well I'm shattered." I said 'yawning' "See you in the morning."_

_Before she could answer I was out the room._

_Like they say…Father like daughter…_

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The Battle of Wit

Its period 2, ICT…..Kill me now! We've been sitting here for the past ten minutes doing nothing since Mrs Hammon had some (And I quote) _Pressing gossip- I mean- News _to tell Mrs Smith. She's outside the door now giggling like a pathetic little school girl (Honestly, teachers these days!).

"You…..Know...This…Is…..Really…Fun….." Charlotte said to me, spinning around on her chair until she was just a blue blur. (Our uniform's blue before you start thinking Charlotte's an Avatar meets Smurf kind of thing)

"Seriously Charlotte" I said, shaking my head in mock disgust "You are so immature."

"But….This…..Is…..Really…Fun…..And….You…..Know…It…"

To be fair, it did look like a hell of a lot of fun…..Maybe it wouldn't hurt to-

NO! My childish days are behind me….After yesterday I am done with the silly little antics. I have come to the conclusion that if Will is insisting on being present at every embarrassing moment of my life I will just have to make sure there are none. A difficult task (I know) but it's the way things have to be….Not that I care what he thinks of me or anything….

I mean I know it's never going to happen but I just thinks it's time to- err- Grow up a bit….Yeah, that's the one…Grow up a bit.

It has totally nothing to do with the fact that he is sitting just behind. Nothing at all….

"You know Will" Caroline said 'fixing his collar' (To me and you that's groping his chest until he swivels around on his chair so she can't reach him) "You are just like _so _clever! Honestly! I don't know how you read this stuff." She took the book out of his hand and flicked through it. "I mean, there's like, well over a hundred pages in this thing!"

"No S**t Sherlock" Charlotte whispered in my ear.

"Do NOT compare Sherlock to that- that- THING!" I hissed back.

Comparing Caroline to MY Sherlock! Disgraceful! I swear down, one day I am going to smack that smug little smirk off her horrible excuse of a face! And that is a guarantee. She is such a….ARGH!

Charlotte snorted and carried on spinning on her chair. Ahh, how simple life must be for her easy, one tracked Will-less mind….

"What's so funny Lucas?" Caroline sneered, wrapping her arm around Wills.

Dear Lord, if that hand of hers gets any closer to the buttons on his chest I am going to snap each finger of individually and make her eat them. No joke.

"She's laughing at us Will" She pouted, looking into Will's oh-so-god-damn dreamy eyes. Stupid Muggle.

_Oh look at me, my names Caroline! Everybody love me because my Daddy's RICH RICH RICH! And look at me with my lovely Will even though he clearly doesn't like me because I'm a DIRTY, SKANKY, HOE! _

Wow… I have some serious issues…. But hey! So does she…..Nothing that reincarnation couldn't solve, mind you.

"Why ask me what I'm laughing at and then straight after say what I'm laughing at?" Charlotte chuckled "That makes no sense. You Ninny hammer!"

HA! Ninny hammer! Words can't get much better than that?

"What did you just call me?"

"I called you a n-i-n-n-y-h-a-m-m-e-r." Charlotte repeated slowly. "God, I can see we're going to have to spell everything out for this one."

Will looked like he was going to explode with laughter whereas Caroline looked like she was about to explode with anger. There's only one thing for it guys….Who will blow first? IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN DUN DUN DUUUN DUUUUN! DUN-DUN DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN!

"Are you calling me thick?" Caroline reduced her eyes to slits.

"We're not going to get into a battle of wits with you Caroline…" Charlotte started.

"We never fight somebody who's unarmed." I grinned. SLAP BAM WHOOLOP! Take that you nincompoop!

Thank god Jane's not in this class….She'd be having a heart attack by now.

"That doesn't make any sense." She shot back.

"I would explain it but I left my crayons at home." Will tried to disguise a snort with a cough. Very gentlemanly…Really…

"Bless you" Charlotte cooed "Thinking's not really you're strong point is it?"

"Ha-ha" Caroline laughed, her voice laced with sarcasm. "You're just so not funny. No wonder you guys have no friends."

Oh yeah, coz I forgot everybody _loves _Caroline don't they…Her face alone could reduce children to tears.

"I can only please one person a day and I'm afraid to say…Today is not your day." I said giving her the smuggest smile known to man.

"Tomorrow isn't looking good either…" Charlotte added, mirroring my smile (Although mine was a tad smugger).

Will cast his eyes down to the floor, pretending he couldn't hear, even though his chair was facing us. Although he was looking at the floor I could clearly see the laughter dancing in his eyes. It made for a rather- err- _attractive_ sight.

"Like I'd want you to be nice to me anyway... Then I'd have to actually pretend to like you!" Ouch! I'm going to need an ambulance for that…what a burn…

"What a load of Buncombe." Charlotte said turning to me grinning.

"Buncombe? That's not even a word!" She said in a oh-I'm-so-much-better-than-you voice.

Err actually I'll think you'll find it is you corpulent, coccdydnia of a nonny. Oh yeah! I went there! You might want to get a napkin dude, coz you just got served!

"If ignorance is bliss" Charlotte sighed "You must be the happiest person alive."

"I know! Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?"

"Maybe she's possessed by a retarded ghost?" Charlotte suggested, stroking an imaginary beard.

"Maybe so…" I said stroking my imaginary moustache "It's a shame stupidity isn't painful though…"

At this Will burst out laughing (He rocked back and forth and everything). Once he started laughing me and Charlotte started HYSTERICALLY laughing while Caroline went bright red, huffed, and stalked off to another computer.

Call us mean? Maybe we are. But she's had that coming for years. That, my friends, was ace.

888

The school bell rung out, echoing through the empty corridors. School had only just finished but it seemed like everyone had already left…apart from me that is…

Mum said she was running a bit late so I could either: a) walk (Too far), b) catch the bus (Too crowded), c) wait for her (Too long) or d) catch a lift with a friend. I hate asking people favours so I decided just to play it safe and wait…Let me tell you now…bad choice…

Jane's gone home with Bingley and there was no way IN HELL I am sharing a car with them! Mary's gone home with Anne and I'd rather rip out my own eyeballs than share a car with _Lady Catherine_. (She may be Will's aunt but that doesn't mean I have to like her!) And Kitty and Lydia have gone into Meryton to play their favourite sport - 'boy hunting'. Which leaves me…poor little Lizzie all alone on a Tuesday afternoon at school.

It seems Lizzie; you have hit an all-time low…

I pulled out my phone and put my headphones in. Maybe a bit of The All-American Rejects and The Hoosiers could cheer me up… Tyson Ritter's voice in my ear always cheers me up….

You know what actually, I'm in the mood for drawing… Yes I feel the artsy vibes flowing through my body…Drawing it is…

I ruffled through my bag until I found my chunky funk

You know what actually, I'm in the mood for drawing… Yes I feel the artsy vibes flowing through my body…Drawing it is…

I ruffled through my bag until I found my chunky funky pencil (It's the pencil I use for sketching) and my sketch book. Now what to draw…

After around ten minutes of Mr A, Move Along, Dirty Little Secret, Beekeepers Daughter and mindless doodling, my phone finally buzzed. Thank God! I can barely feel my butt!

_02- Top up now and you can have 500… _

Oh come on! Can this get any worse?

Suddenly Tyson's godly voice was interrupted by a pitter-patter. Rain? Are you serious! Gut Gott Im Himmel… When I said 'can this get any worse, I didn't actually want you to show me how it could get any worse! Thanks though; _really _appreciate it. Not. Now I've got to wait in the rain on a cold, hard bench that's made my butt cheeks numb. Great.

I think I can officially say now that THIS CAN NOT GET ANY WORSE!

And then the heavens open….Good grief…

Why me I ask you? Why me?

I started tapping the pencil in time to 'It Ends Tonight' off my drawing….

_When darkness turns to light_

_It ends tonight_

_It ends tonight_

_Just a little insight-_

"Elizabeth? What are you doing here?" A deep voice called out from God knows where.

There's only one person on this Earth who calls me Elizabeth and has a voice that reduces my legs to jelly… Oh this is just great… I grabbed my stuff and stuffed in into my bag. It's sad enough that I'm still here but I don't want him to think I've set up camp here.

Will walked into view, his bag slung over his shoulder, looking like a GOD. His shirt was wet and clinging to his chest. His tie, blazer and jumper seemed to have disappeared (Not that I'm complaining) and his hair was covered in little water droplets, trapped between the now darker curls. He looked slightly flushed and little raindrops were running down his cheek….Lord give me strength…..

Kvskjvkival iblaekbvli vbksvgbak ovbw- These are my thoughts right now. I think he just scrambled my brain like an egg…

He raised an eyebrow, looking slightly concerned. To be fair I was gawping at him like a gawping fish, but my god his chest and his hair and his chest, and his eyes and his CHEST!

Not that I'm staring…

"Are you okay?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah" My voice broke. How very attractive… A girl with a croaky voice...Now wonder you're completely irresistible Elizabeth.

"You sure?" His eyebrows knitted together. "You look a bit cold"

THAT'S BECAUSE I FRICKIN' AM!

"No I'm fine…" I lied.

He swung his bag off his shoulder, walked over, and set it on the wall next to me.

OH EM GEE! He smells like heaven… How is that even possible?

Why do you always smell like heaven Will? Are you doing this on purpose?

Meany…

He pulled out a coat (How the hell did he fit a coat in there?) and shook it out before putting it around my shoulders. Oh god…I'm hyperventilating. He just gave me his coat. In the rain. And it smells like him. It smells like heaven.

This, my friend, is romance.

I snuggled into his coat as he sat down next to me, closing his bag.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Nessun problema" He replied in a flawless Italian accent "You looked cold."

He thought I looked cold so he gave me his coat...Swoon...(And that Italian Accent...PHWAH!)

"You didn't have to."

"I know I didn't have to" He turned and stared me in the eye, locking his eyes with mine. "But I wanted too..."

I felt his hand brush mine on the wall and his eyes bore into mine... I couldn't look away; I was utterly captured by the waves of bright emerald sea that lay in his eyes...Those eyes that I could drown in...

*Beep Beep*

"ELIZABETH COME ON WE'VE GOT TO GO!" A woman that could only be my mother screeched from the car park.

Seriously. Now I don't want her to come, she comes? Typical.

Will jumped back and it was only then I realised we'd been leaning in to each other. Oh God.

"ELIZABETH!" My mother yelled again, bibbing the horn a few more times. Lord, if you're listening to me, send me a sign, an angel, prefably a lightning bolt to strike down my mother.

"Err...well" He ran his hand through his already tousled (And still wet) hair. "Guess you've got to go." He laughed nervously, his voice thick and his eyes dark.

"Yeah" I blushed, looking at the floor. No! Don't blush!

"Well...err...see you tomorrow then..." He gave a small smile.

"Yeah see you." I jumped off the wall keeping my eyes on the pavement.

I was just about to step out into the rain when I remebered.

"Will" I called, turning around.

He looked up at his name.

"Your coat" I took it off my shoulders and held it out to him.

"No its okay. You can give it to me some other 're going to need it more than me." He nodded over to my mum, who for some reason had parked how many miles away. I swear she does it on purpose. "Plus" He added, smiling Mischievously "It looks better on you."

He slid off the wall, waved and then walked off into the rain.

"ELIZABETH!" Mum screeched, pressing her hand down on the horn.

Don't make me go back to the mad house Will…..Take me with you…..

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**Author's Note:**

** So what'd ya think? As normal any ideas will be welcome and reviews will be too! Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who has reviewed the past ones!  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.s. Exams are now kind of over. I've got my results and I passed *Does the funky chicken* Oh yeah, oh yeah :D  
**


	8. The Bikini Conundrum

**Author's Note:**

** Hi Guys! Nice to see you all again! See I've been loyal, I've been nice. My teachers have decided to drop a last minute end of year Maths test on me but what am I doing? I'm here writing for you. Yeah, I know, I'm awesome pawsome. There's no denying it :D Anywho, this chapter was (yet) another bridge. I just had this mazballs idea the other day and then bam-bam-bam I wrote this. I have been yapping about a camping trip for a while but I've decided to scrap it for the idea enclosed in this chapter. (How posh did that sound *wiggles eyebrows*) I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter which is my LONGEST EVER CHAPTER YET! WHOOP WHOOP! It's a bit jumpy in places but I really couldn't think of any fillers so...Give me a little credit...Please... So now without further whatever-the-next-word-is I present to you...(Fanfair trumpets [Is that what they're called]) The 8th Chapter of The 'Will' Situation!  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.S. For any Horrible Historians out there...10 virtual Darcy hugs for anyone who spots the Mat Baynton quote. They will be distributed on a first come first serve basis. If nobody gets it...I might as well just give up...my talent is wasted on you people! (BTW that was a joke...I'm not really such a arrogant prat...I think...)  
**

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**Disclaimer:  
**

** I don't own anyone mentioned in the story (Except for Darcy. He's mine. I bagsied him first.)  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

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Previously:

"No its okay. You can give it to me some other 're going to need it more than me." He nodded over to my mum, who for some reason had parked how many miles away. I swear she does it on purpose. "Plus" He added, smiling Mischievously "It looks better on you."

He slid off the wall, waved and then walked off into the rain.

"ELIZABETH!" Mum screeched, pressing her hand down on the horn.

Don't make me go back to the mad house Will…..Take me with you…..

**Ooohhhh...What a flirty little thing our Darcy's turning out to be... *Nudges you while wiggling eyebrows* Aye. Aye-aye.**

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The Bikini Conundrum 

I sat on the edge of my bed doodling in my sketch while Mary ferretted through my draws and Kitty through my wardrobe. (Yeah I know I have a wardrobe. I was forced to clean up. Boooo…)

"What are you guys even looking for?" I asked shading in the curls of the boy lying on my page, who looked suspiciously like Will. Don't ask me how it got there…

"Incriminating evidence." Mary said throwing items from my underwear draw all over the floor.

"OI! Watch that! I tidied up yesterday!"

"This is what you call tidy." She asked wrinkling her noise at the state of my converses.

"Just coz you're a neat freak." I muttered.

She winked and then carried on looking through my wardrobe.

What they were looking for, I have no idea. All I know is that they barged into my room, interrupting my little arty disco, and demanded access to my wardrobe and draws. I would ask why, but quite frankly, I'm slightly scared of what the answer might be.

Though, it's nice to see Kitty and Mary hanging around with each other. They actually get on quite well together. They complement and bring out the best in each other. Kitty, believe it or not, is in fact a really nice girl when you catch her away from Lydia. _She's_ too much of a bad influence on her most of the time. I know Kiki (As I call her) only hangs around with Lyd because she's scared of saying no to her. I think mum has a big part to do with it too. Kiki's always been desperate for mum's attention. While Jane and Lydia get all the praise and me and Mary all the criticism, Kitty doesn't really get anything. I don't know if she thinks being like Lydia will 'buy' her mum's love or something. Though, why would you want her love? I've seen the way she fusses over Jane; I'd much rather have the hate any day!

Anyway, Kitty and Lydia have had some huge argument over nothing (again) so Kiki's hanging out with Mary and refusing to talk to Lydia. As much as Mary likes to grumble saying she's the 'after thought' and 'second best' I know she loves having a little minion alongside her. Usually she'd hang around with me and Jane, so she likes being the eldest of the group for once.

"What on earth is this?" Kitty exclaimed pulling out a long dark grey coat. That belonged to a man. Named Will. Fruggle.

Kiki and Mimi (Kitty and Mary) stared at my blushing face knowingly.

"Care to explain you sly little minx." Mary asked, grinning like a fool.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said looking down at the page in front of me.

"So you don't know how this coat could have possibly got into your _bedroom_." Kitty asked.

I looked up to see my two sisters smirking at me with a cunning look in their eyes that made me nervous. Oh dear Lord.

The coat is of course Will's, like I said, but it is not what it looks like. He had given it to me four days ago because it was cold and wet and I didn't have a coat. I had just simply- err- _forgot _to give it back.

I mean I have every intention of giving it back… Honestly…

"And a MAN'S coat at that." Mary added.

"It's not what it looks like."

"You know when people say that, it usually ends up being exactly what they were originally thinking."

"Or worse"

Their eyes twinkled as they gave me, what they must have thought, was an 'innocent' smile.

My phone started ringing amongst the pile of junk on my desk. When I said I cleaned up…

"You two are evil. Did you know that?" I lifted up school books, folders, sketch books and file paper until I eventually found my phone next to where I was just sitting. I seriously need a hearing test.

"Hello." I said, while shoeing Mimi and Kiki out of the room.

"Hey girlfriend" A person with a _really_ bad American accent replied.

"Hi Gee."

"How'd you guess it was me?" She whined.

"There are only two people I know who would start a phone call off with _'Hey Girlfriend'_. One of them is you, the other Fitz. And as girly as he may be, his voice isn't _that_ high pitched."

Her musical laughter sounded from the other end of the phone as I shut my bedroom door.

"Anyway" I continued "What'd you want?"

"Am I not allowed to just phone up to speak to my bestie? I have to have some sort of motive now?"

"Considering this is you; yes."

"Elizabeth I'm hurt." I could almost see her clutching her heart gasping. She was another melodramatic one too… She and Fitz are alike in so many ways it's weird.

"That's great- I'm sure you are- now, what do you want?" That's another thing with the Darcy's; they can never give you a straight answer.

"Well my little Lizzie" _Little Lizzie_? She just about reaches my chin! "Mum said I can have a friend over for a night since Will's having Fitz over. Yeah I know _how sad_.He gets to have a friend over and he chooses his cousin…HA! Though I think Bingley might be coming actually…I'm not sure…But anyway would you like to come!" Gee's over excited voice echoed through my room.

Me. Over at Will's. For a night. Oh God…

"I think I'm busy that day-" I began before I was interrupted by Gee's droll voice.

"Lizzie I haven't even told you what day it is yet."

"Ah…" There goes that plan.

"PLEASE LIZZIE!" Gee begged "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEAAASSSEEEEE!"

"Why me though? I mean really Gee, lets think about this. You could have anybody round so don't waste your choice on little old me….What about…err…Caroline!" I'm sure Caroline would make a great sleepover buddy…

"Caroline? As in Bingley?" She asked in disbelief.

"Mmmhhhmmm…." I trailed off.

"But Lizzie… You're supposed to be my adopted sister!"

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I can't go over to the Darcy house! I've been there before but to sleep?

"I know but-"

"NO LIZZIE! NO BUTS!"

"But Gee-"

"NO BUTS!" Gee screeched down the phone, forcing me to hold it at arm's length.

What happened to making sure I was never forced into awkward or embarrassing encounters when I was around Will? How is that going to work when I'm SLEEPING AT HIS HOUSE!

Omg! He'll see me in my PJs…

MY PJs! With bed hair and morning breathe!

This cannot be happening. This CANNOT be happening!

But I can't say no….

I can almost see Gee's crystal blue eyes pleading with mine…

I can't believe I'm saying this…

"Fine." I muttered.

"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOOUUUU!" After a few minutes of praise, I put the phone back to my ear.

"When do you want me?" Please say in the next five years when Will leaves home…

"How's tomorrow?" DAMN!

"But that's Sunday…." I began.

"Well done smarty pants. Gold medal for you." Gee retorted sarcastically.

Hey. Sarcasm's only cool when I do it. I'm doing you a favour here; lay off.

"Ha-ha Gee. You're hilarious."

"I know…I am aren't I?" She laughed "Anyway, what's wrong with Sunday?"

"If I sleep over on Sunday that's means I'll be at your house on Monday morning…"

"And…?" Gee prompted.

"I'll be at your house on a school morning." Yep. That's a good enough excuse…Mum would never let me go on a school morning... Well she would. In fact she would kill me if she knew I was refusing to spend the night in_ 'one of the richest boys in England's house'_.

Ah well…What she doesn't know won't hurt her.

"Mum would never let me go." I continued, adding a little sniffle to sound more convincing.

I may not be able to lie face to face but I'm a damn good liar down the phone!

"Really…Are you sure…" She said it in an I-know-you're-lying-now-tell-me-the-truth voice.

How does she know I'm lying! Clearly I'm losing my touch here… I'm going to have to start practicing lying…starting with Mum, I think.

"Yep. Positive." I answered.

"That's funny…Because my mum's already called your mum" Oh Crumpets. "And she said that it was so kind of us to offer and that you'd love to come round."

"Oh really" I replied in a tight voice "That's news to me…"

"So it'd seem." I swear I can see her evil grin through the receiver.

Why are all my friends' cunning, sly, cow bags?

Note to self: Find some new friends. Immediately.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." She continued.

"Uh-huh." I am so going to kill my Mother.

"Make sure you bring swimming clothes." WHAT! Can this get any worse! Why on God's Earth am I going to need swimming clothes!

"What! Why?" I rushed. Please tell me I heard wrong.

"For the pool of course!" She chuckled. Oh yeah…I forgot. Because it's _so _normal to have a swimming pool in your flipping back garden.

So not only have I got to parade around Will's house in PJs but now they've added a Bikini to the list. Bon Dieu. Kill me now.

I'm going to be all flabby and wobbly; walking round with layers hanging over my Bikini pants.

And as for the Bikini top…Well that can just emphasise what little chest I have….

HOLD ON!

If I'm in a Bikini what will Will be wearing… I can't see him in trunks!

I nearly had a heart attack when I saw him in a wet shirt!

Surely this can't be good for my health! That's got to be a good enough excuse not to go…

Or maybe I could tell them that I can't swim. Or that I have a phobia of water. Or that I'm allergic to something in the pool.

"And before you try and get out of that one too, your Mum said you can swim perfectly fine and that you absolutely love swimming." She laughed (Again) "So don't waste your breath."

. . .

"Oh did she now…" Just wait until I get my grubby little hands on you MOTHER! You will be no more…

"Yes she did. Now I'll see you tomorrow okay."

"Yeah…" I grumbled defeated, before she hung up.

Well…I suppose at least I can give Will his coat back…

888

"What about this one." Jane said, holding up a pink frilly Bikini.

"What about no." Was she serious? Did she want me to look like a fat pink blob of lace?

"How about this one?" The sales assistant asked, picking up a blue swimsuit with orange spots.

Okay, now they're definitely joking. "No thank you."

"Lizzie! Stop being so picky! We've been in nearly every shop up here and you still can't find one that fits your 'criteria'." Is it my fault that manufacturers are making crap products?

"Don't blame me! I just want something nice." Is that such a big ask?

"No she wants something that Will will think is nice…" Mary said winking.

I picked up the nearest piece of clothing and whacked her with it.

"OUCH! What was that for!"

"What wasn't it for?" I shot back.

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"You don't make any sense!"

"Girls!" Jane exclaimed. "We don't have time for this. We need to make it home for dinner."

"At this rate I'd be surprised if we made it back for the next millennium." Mary muttered.

"Why are you even here Mary?" I asked, as we walked out the shop leaving the sales assistant to clean up the mess we'd made. If her shop stocked better clothes than she wouldn't have anything to worry about would she?

"As if I'd miss the opportunity to see you walk around how many different shops trying to squeeze into little water proof pants and bras." She snorted.

"That sounded _so _wrong." Jane giggled.

"That's because Mary is SO wrong." I smirked.

"Oh really Lizzie, I'm hurt." Mary replied in a monotonous voice.

God younger siblings are so annoying! Funny, but annoying!

We walked around for a while and then decided to buy milkshakes from 'Milk the Massive Cow'. They have, like, THE BEST milkshakes in the world. You can choose any chocolate bar; biscuit (Even Cereal!) and they'll turn it into a Milkshake right in front of you. AMAZING, I know.

So anyway, we strolled around for a bit sipping our milkshakes (Mine was a boost Chocolate Bar) until the cutest thing I had seen all day caught my line of vision.

"THAT'S THE ONE!" I shouted, pointing to the white Bikini in the shop window. Jane and Mary stopped in their tracks and looked to where I was pointed.

"That one…" Jane asked unsure.

"Err yeah!" Its beauty on a manikin.

"It's a bit…"

"Plain?" Mary suggested.

"Yeah…"

"Exactly! It's perfect!" I skipped into the shop (Literally skipped) until a huge fat hand pulled me back out.

"What the-" I turned around to give the owner of the fat hand a huge rollicking when I saw a huge bold man (With about 50 chins) dressed in a security uniform.

"You cannot go in there." He said in an accent that sounded like the movie star of 'The Simpsons'. What's his name again…?

"Why not!" I think you'll find thanks to the declaration of Human Rights I have every right to go in that shop! I would understand if it was some dodgy lingerie shop but it's just a summer shop! At least I think it is…

I glanced up at the sign…Yup. It definitely is.

He stabbed my drink with his chunky finger and then pointed to the 'No Drinks or food sign' that looked like it'd been drawn by a five year old.

"No food. No drink." He spat.

Ah…Schnitzel.

"But I NEED to go in there."

"And I need a winning lottery ticket but we don't all get what we want."

"You don't need a winning lottery ticket…You _want _a winning lottery ticket." I think if I don't shut up he might beat me to a pulp. Or sit on me. At least that way I'd have a good excuse to get out of the sleep over…

Where are Jane and Mary? You know, a little help would be nice!

I think the scariest thing is that although the man's huge, I don't think it's fat…It muscle…Good Lord.

"Look, I really need to go in there." The quiet giggles informed me that Jane and Mary where standing right behind me. Thanks for the support guys. Nice to know you've got my back.

"No you _want _to go in there. You don't _need _to go in there." He said, in a REALLY bad imitation of my voice.

When I get in that shop, the first thing I'm doing is asking for this guy's name. Customer services are going to be receiving a _pretty _long letter from me.

"No I NEED TO GO IN THERE."

"If he doesn't let her in there soon, I can feel a HUGE b***h fit coming on." Mary whispered to a, still giggling, Jane.

"Well then put the drink in the bin and you can." Did he just ask me to put a 'Milk the Massive Cow' milkshake in the bin! IS THIS MAN OUT OF HIS MIND!

"Do you know how much these things cost?" I can feel the temperature rising within me. It's been a long day dude. DO NOT TEST ME.

"No I don't." He said in an I-couldn't-really-give-a-tosh voice. Well you're about to give a tosh!"

"Two pounds fifty. That's how much." I glared in his direction. If looks could kill, he'd be a dead man.

"Is that it?" He laughed.

"IS THAT IT? IS THAT IT?" Oh he's done it now. "YOU MISTER I'M-SO-BIG-AND-BALD-I'LL-JUST-BOSS-EVERYONE-AROUND-BECAUSE-NOBODY-CAN-REACH-ME ARE ONE RUDE, PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A MAN!"

Jane and Mary burst out into hysterical laughter while the security guard stood there gawping.

"I HAVE BEEN UP HERE FOR FOUR HOURS! FOUR BLOODY HOURS, LOOKING FOR A BIKINI SO I CAN GO SWIMMING BUT DO YOU THINK I COULD FIND ONE? Oooohhhhh NO! BUT THAT" I jabbed my finger at the bikini "IS THE ONE! THAT IS THE ONE I WANT! SO WHEN I SAY I NEED TO GO IN THERE, I NEED TO GO IN THERE! SO YOU EITHER LET ME PAST OR I WILL BREAK OFF YOUR LEGS, SHOVE THEM UP YOUR NOSTRILS AND WALK PAST ANYWAY! DO NOT GET ON THE WRONG SIDE OF AN ANGRY TEENAGE SHOPPER! KAPEESH!"

I stood there, chest heaving, as I tried to catch my breath. Do you think that was a little over the top? I think I may have gone a little over the top.

Mary and Jane clung on to each other for support, each of them clutching their sides from laughter.

"Very well…" The guard said after a while, still looking quite dazed "I will let you in this once…Okay…?"

I nodded affirmative and then marched into the store, closely followed by Mary and Jane.

Stupid security guard. Just who does he think he is! He better hope to the Lord he is not out there when I leave…

888

"Come out..." Mary whined. "We wanna see it."

"I'm still not sure." I twisted and turned in front of the mirror in the fitting rooms, still deciding if I like it or not.

It was nice, there was no denying that, but I wasn't sure if it looked right on me.

The white top clung to my chest, lifting it up slightly. And the white pant-like thing made my legs look slightly more muscular and longer.

The design of it was simple. The white material all looked a bit twisted (Sorry, I'm awful at describing things) and wrinkled but –here's the magic- it wasn't.

It wasn't too stringy or too bulky. It didn't cling too much and it wasn't too baggy. It was simple and it fitted perfectly. So I liked it.

But it made my chest look a bit more…err…prominent (?) than usual…So I didn't like it.

But then again, I'm going to have that problem with every Bikini so…

I pulled back the curtain and half stepped out into the shop.

"Wow!" Jane gasped "You look gorgeous!" Why is that so surprising? Don't I look gorgeous all the time? But I couldn't help but grin like a grinning idiot at her compliment.

"Oh Em Gee." Mary said, looking me up and down. "Don't look now Lizzie but" She dropped her voice down to a fake whisper "You've got boobs!"

Is that a joke… Ha-ha bloody ha. Seriously Mary my sides are splitting.

"Leave her alone." Jane scolded, hitting Mary playfully on the arm "She looks beautiful."

"I never said she didn't I'm just saying, Lizzie- wait for it- has. a. chest….Yeah…I know."

Jane rolled her eyes and smiled at me as if to say 'here we go'.

Mary (For some weird reason) always likes to take the mickey out of my –err- chestal area. It's not that its small it's just…not big.

As I like to say, it's not my fault she's got floor grazers that she has to lift up with her knees.

I'll have you know I'm perfectly normal for my age (At least I think so).

After around twenty "you didn't put enough self-raising flour in your BUNS" or "you didn't leave you BUNS in the oven long enough' I finally managed to make it back into the fitting room, get dressed and pay for my new 'itsy bitsy tinie winie new little white Bikini' (Ha! Did you see what I did there).

As we walked out of the shop the security guard nodded his head in acknowledgement at me. He must have heard my rant inside about speaking to Customer Services in regards of Big Dick (It turns out his name is Richard but I decided 'Big Dick' suited him better) and now thought he could be nice to me.

Well it's too late for arse licking (Not actual arse licking) now my dear friend for I will not be swayed.

I am one tough cookie. Believe me.

I nodded my head back to him, making sure to give him a glare that the Mafia would be proud of.

"I hope you come back soon." He said in a tight voice.

Don't lie. No you don't. You never want to see me again!

Well tough. Because each time you close your eyes I will be there in your nightmares…Haunting you with my screechy screaming and thunderous stamping.

Oh yeah, I'm just that cool.

* * *

**Author's Note (Yes, Again):**

** I know, I know *Dodges random flying objects* it's way too jumpy and kind of skips from thing to thing. And YES I know my grammer's bad (But I'm getting better right?) and the paste is to quick but I'm trying guys. I'M TRYING! My completely useless excuse is that I'm REALLY HYPER right now...if that means anything. I'm trying to do Math's revision but I've some how ended up listening to 'Kid's in the Street'...Don't ask me how...I blame the laptop...It has a mind of it's own. I'm like "NO LAPTOP NO! We're not going on facebook today! We are going to be good students and we are going to revise!" Next thing I know my status has been updated, I've liked how many random groups and I've been having a two hour conversation with my friends...I honestly don't know how it does it... Anywho, I hoped you guys like it and as always I'd like to thank you for all of your support and advice, it's been really encouraging! Reading all your reviews makes my day so GIVE ME SOME NEW ONES TO READ! Pretty please... ;D  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.S. Did anyone get it *Jumps up and down on chair excitedly* Well...? Someone must have got it...  
****I'll be waiting *Creepy grin* He-he.****  
**


	9. Don't you want me Baby?

**Author's Note:**

* * *

** Guys, I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY it's taken this long to update. My first excuse is that I spent all of last weekend at my friends house (but I'll come back to that later) and my second is that I was banned of the laptop ALL week! I KNOW! WHAT THE FUDE! WHO DOES THAT! I tried to explain to my mum that a lot of people were waiting for this, I was like "But MUUUUUMMMMMM, my fans /need/ me!" And she was like "Purleeeaaaassseee...You have no fans" :|-Not amused face. Anywho, I'm here now and BOY have I got a chapter instore for you. Well...at least I will do...when I finish it... You see, I've kind of cut the end of this chapter off because I've decided to split the sleepover into multiple chapters as its just TOOOOOOO long! Not much happens in this chapter but you need to hear what advice her mum gives her for the bit by the swimmin- Ahhhh *taps nose* nearly gave it away then...Anyway you need to read this for the next bit to make sense :D I would like to dedicate this chapter to my BEST friend Darcygirl123 (I think thats her username...If not I apologise) for helping me come up with a lot of the ideas for this chapter and the up coming chapters...We actually sat at her dinner table asking her mum for advice on how to attract boys and there was also a very interesting five minutes when I watched her (My friend that is) demonstrate how Mrs Bennet could've danced to 'Don't you want me Baby'...Yeah...That's how my people roll...So, without making you wait any longer, here is the NINTH chapter of (Dun-dun-dun-duuuuunnnnn) 'The 'Will' Situation! Enjoy!**

**Ally xxx  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

** Do I seriously have to do this every chapter... :/****  
**

* * *

_Previously_**  
**

_"I hope you come back soon." He said in a tight voice._

_Don't lie. No you don't. You never want to see me again!_

_Well tough. Because each time you close your eyes I will be there in your nightmares…Haunting you with my screechy screaming and thunderous stamping._

_Oh yeah, I'm just that cool._

* * *

Don't you want me Baby?

The beautiful, Victorian house (That's mansion to me and you) loomed over head as we wound our way through the country path, towards Will's house- I mean Georgiana's house….

I'm here for Georgiana…Not Will…Though if I happen to bump into him-

NO! Gee, Elizabeth, you're here for Gee.

"Right then Elizabeth" Mama started as the car climbed the gravelled path "There are a few things we wanted to say before you arrived at the Darcy house."

What, like Goodbye or have a nice time or-

"This is your chance. This is as close as getting to being _alone _with William so you need to use it to your FULL advantage."

What the…?

"As a wise man once said Lizzie" Mary continued "There is no time like the present."

Are they serious? Alone. With Will. Nooo…They've got this ALL wrong.

"I'm going as GEORGIANA'S guest remember. Fitz is going to be there, Gee is going to be there, his mum is going to be there, his dad is-"

"But Caroline won't be there" Kitty interrupted

"And _hello" _Lydia said in a god-you're-so-damn-thick voice "There's going to be you, Will, a pool and a Bikini. What more could a girl ask for?"

"Oh a lot more" Mum answered in a dreamy voice "A lot more."

Good lord.

I started fumbling with the door handle.

Maybe I could do a James Bond drop and roll out of the car and into the bushes. It would ruin my hair a bit but I'd much rather twiggy hair than to have to sit through the conversation I think my mother's about to start.

"So anyway" She carried on "We thought we'd give you a few tips, you know, to get you started."

I now have one foot on the door for extra support while I repeatedly yank the door handle. Stupid woman put the child locks on.

"It's not that I don't think you're capable Lizzie, you're a very pretty girl. You just need to learn to use your beauty and feminine side to its full advantage."

What, like wave my chest in front of their faces? Caroline's already tried that. It doesn't work.

However, me and Charlotte managed to pass the next Maths lesson by making a list of the types of products we could use to bleach the image out of our brains.

"Tip No.1" Mum announced "Whatever you do, don't get your hair wet."

"Agreed." Kitty said, nodding "No offence Lizzie, but your hair goes frizz central when a rain drop hits it."

Pfft…..Thanks guys. I thought they were supposed to be giving me tips not insulting me.

Hang on. I'm going SWIMMING. How can I not get my hair wet? Are they really that thick?

"But I'm going swimming…"

"Sorry, I didn't realise you wanted to look like a rough haired guinea pig that's been washed and conditioned." Lydia said filing her nails (I mean seriously, who files their nails in a car!)

"I do not look like a Guinea Pig!"

Mary tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes at me as if in deep thought.

"Actually, the resmebalance is quite uncanny" Mary smirked before I hit here with my overnight bag.

"Tip No.2" Mum shouted over Marys screams and my punches "Flick your hair."

"Oh yeah!" Lydia said a bit too enthusiastically "Boys love it when you do that."

And how would you know…?

"What…You want me to whip them with my hair." Seriously, what are these people on?

"Nooo" She replied slowly "You have to get that balance of maturity and seductivity."

"Is seductivity even a word?"

Lydia looked at Mum who rolled her eyes.

"I think that's the least of your problems right now Elizabeth."

"I don't _have _any problems right now."

"If you _didn't_ have any problems right now, you'd have been invited here as Will's guest not Gee's."

God. Mary must have a death wish. Note to self: Find a stone and hit her with it. If stone not available, a bolder will do the job just fine.

"You have to flick it to the side and then give them the look." Lydia demonstrated the 'flick' while giving me bedroom eyes and licking her lips… I think my sister just made a move on me…I'm slightly worried.

"You have to leave them hanging."

"Begging for more." Mary added in a deep voice while she stroked my arm.

Okay let me correct myself…I think my _sisters _just made a move on me…

Lordy Lordy Lord…

"That works best" Kitty piped up "If you have wet hair."

A murmur of agreement spread throughout the car.

But didn't she just say like five minutes ago not to get my hair wet?

"I thought I wasn't supposed to get my hair wet." I asked, confused.

"Good God! This is hopeless!" Lydia sighed, throwing her arms in the air.

"How are we supposed to make you into an irresistible, charming young woman if you can't listen to our simple instructions?" Mum said, exasperated.

I am listening! That's why I'm confused!

Hold up…My god I'm listening! I'm taking advice off my mother and three younger sisters!

Lydia's right…I'm hopeless…I'm a lost cause.

"Tip No.3"

"Accidently touch him." Kitty winked.

WHAT! Touching…Okay this has gone too far now…

"Guys, I don't think tha-" I began, only to be interrupted (again) by Lydia's shrieking.

"You could play footsie with him under the table!"

"I am NOT playing footsie with Will under the table!" Knowing me, I'd probably end up rubbing my leg up Will's Dad's leg instead of Will's. You see, that's the kind of thing that would happen to me.

"Oh go on! That'd be hilarious- I mean that'd be a big turn on." Mary grinned.

Turn On…Why would I want to 'turn him- Oh my god!

My mother is giving me advice on how to seduce Will… Seduce Will…SEDUCE!

I'm FIFTEEN! That's not even legal! What the hell! What is WRONG with my family!

Don't most parents warn their children that they don't want any funny business before they go over to someone's house…They don't _encourage _it!

"Are you trying to get me to _seduce _Will?" I screamed, nearly jumping out of my seat.

"What! No…" Mum laughed. *Phew* "However, if the chance appeared…"

"MUM!"

"I'm just saying-"

"Tip No.4 "Mary said, before me and mum got into an argument. "Use your situation to your advantage."

"What…"

"Think about." Kitty said, seriously "You are going to be the poor, little guest in a big house wondering around in a Bikini."

"That's just asking for some action"

"You need to act like the damsel in distress" Mum said "But have that air of confidence about you."

"Guys love confidence." Lydia made a little cat claw at me, whatever _that's_ supposed to mean.

"You've got to walk the walk and talk the talk sister!" Mary said, strutting her 'stuff'.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Have they not seen me walk? When I walk, the awkwardness just oozes off me. I'm like the Queen of Awkwardness. How am I (The Queen of Awkwardness) supposed to walk around in a Bikini like I own the place?

"What I used to do when I was younger" Mum began "Was walk like I was walking to a song."

Oh god…

"That way, you can puff up your chest and sway your hips in time with the music without coming on too strong."

Please stop talking, please stop talking.

"Worked magic on your father." She said wiggling her eyebrows.

OH GOD! I think I'm going to need bleach number one off the list to get that GOD AWFUL image out of my brain. FOREVER!

Mary, seeing my distress (and being the nice sister she is) decided to add to it further by asking my mum (With faked interest) "So mum, this song of yours…out of interest and to give us a –err- _clearer _picture, please sing us the song and show us what you used to do."

Mum pulled the car through the gates and stopped before the towering house.

"I thought you'd never ask…"

Now; when I say I've seen some things in my life time that I never want to see again… none of that compares to what I'm seeing now.

Mum started shaking her breasticles back and forth on the steering wheel, while singing (More like Moaning if I'm honest) "Don't you want me baby…Don't you want me-"

"Oooooohhhhhhhh" Mary, Kitty and Lydia sung from the back of the car.

…

-speechless-

I grabbed my bag, lent forward and unlocked the doors before I jumped out the car and ran up the steps to the door.

I should have dropped and rolled earlier when I had the chance…

"Come on, come on" I muttered, ringing the doorbell. I need to get as FAR away from my mother as humanly possible. I can never look at her (Or Father for that matter) the same way again.

The grand golden door stood still as I hopped from foot to foot, waiting for it to be opened.

You know what? Even their door is gorgeous…How'd you even get a gorgeous door?

I bet that door cost more than my entire house… In fact no, that's stupid-

I bet that door cost more than ALL the houses on my street.

If their door costs that much, I wonder how much their house costs…? From what Will's told me it's been in the family for centuries (Donkey years basically) and it was brought in cash by the first owners. Each generation of the Darcy family, since then at least, has had a son meaning the Darcy name, legacy and house has lived on…Madness I know.

And it's not even like this is the only house they've got either…If I am not mistaken they have another in London, France, Italy, Bath and Derbyshire. AND the one in Derbyshire is supposed to be BIGGER! How that's even possible I have no idea.

It has a gallery, a library (Yeah, a _library_), a swimming pool (Indoors and outdoors), how many acres of land surrounding it and (As if that wasn't enough) its own guest wing…I don't even have a guest _room_.

I went there once when I was younger…Mr and Mrs Darcy invited me, Jane and Papa to go stay with them during summer. Mary, Kitty, Lydia and Mum where invited too but because Lydz was so young they decided not to go.

Even though it was years ago I don't think I'll ever forget that summer…

Especially the last day when me and-

The royal door in front of me swung open to reveal Mr Darcy (Senior) standing in a suit, with one eyebrow raised.

"Why hello there Elizabeth" He grinned "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Hello Mr Darcy." I grinned back. His smile was quite infectious. You can see where Will gets it from.

"Please" He held the door open and gestured for me to come in "Do enter my humble abode."

I turned and gave an awkward wave to the car (Where my mother was STILL shimmying and Mary was shouting "Get in there Lizzie!" and stepped into the welcoming (and rather large) hallway.

The pale cream walls and milky brown furnishings just oozed off a homey feeling. I instantly felt at peace, relaxed and calm. Hhhmmmmm….Talk about home sweet home aye.

"Thomas, darling why do you insist on talking in riddles?" A soft, feminine voice said from around the corner.

MRS DARCY!

"And why do you insist on calling me Thomas Darling, _darling_?" He replied, as he held out his hand to a tall, slender golden blonde woman, who appeared from the same corner.

"Because that is what you are _Thomas Darling_." She grinned, before turning around and smiling at me. "Lizzie! It has been so long! It's got to have been around a month?" Seven, nearly eight weeks actually….Not that I've been counting…. "Come here then" She held out her arms for a hug. Oh no. "Oh come on…I've known you since you were a baby and I still don't get a hug?"

Reluctantly, I walked over and tried to embrace her.

Oh god, the paranoia, the awkwardness….Its FEEDING off me.

"So" She said, finally letting go of me "How have you been?"

Spiffing, thanks for asking… I spent my holidays grieving over your cruel, cruel decision to go to France and Italy with your son. I've spent the past week drooling over your son… Well really I've spent the past how many years drooling over your son….but who needs details aye?

"Same old, same old. How about you? Been writing anything lately?"

"I've been fine thank you-"

"Me too, if anyone cares." Mr Darcy interrupted.

"_and" _She continued "I have been writing something…"

"Really! What?" YAYAYAYAYAY! You have NO idea how amazing Mrs Darcy's books are! They're like-

KABBOOOOOOMMMM!

-Mind blown-

"I would tell you but then I'd have to kill you." She winked and then headed towards the grand (Everything's grand- just grand) stair case. "Anyway, I believe you are here for my son and daughter."

"Just daughter" But if your son is available… wink-wink nudge-nudge. OH GOD! I'm turning into my mother!

"Oh trust me." Mr Darcy said, walking to the stairs also "He'd want to know you're here."

Mr and Mrs Darcy exchanged a 'look'.

Hhhmmmmm…interesting *stroking beard Sherlock style* very interesting….

Hold on. Does Sherlock even have a beard…? I wonder what he'd look like with a beard…What about Watson… He'd look funny with a beard…Ha-ha! Martin Freeman with a beard! Even better Andrew Scott with a beard or Bened-

Wowza, got a bit distracted there…

"Georgiana, William, Richard, come down stairs." Mr Darcy called up the stair case.

No one came down….

Ah…Awkward turtle…

Just look around Lizzie…Soak up the riches….Oh what a lovely painting. That's it Lizzie, examine the painting like you've never seen it before…

"Georgiana, William, Richard." He called again.

Still no one.

Wow! What a gorgeous carpet! Look how lovely my feet look on this carpet…Keep on looking at the carpet…Lalalala - keep on singing- lalalala – where the hells Georgiana- lalalala- what a lovely carpet, oh my goodness there's dirt on my shoes…

"GEORGIANA, WILLIAM, RICHARD COME DOWN STAIRS NOW!"

Silence rolled across the hallway… Cue the tumble weed….

Sod an awkward turtle, at this rate we're going to need an awkward frickin' elephant.

"No, no, no Thomas" Mrs Darcy said "You're doing it all wrong…"

She cleared her throat and leaned up the banister "SO ELIZABETH" She said in a casual (But VERY loud) voice "HOW ARE YOU DOING ON THIS FINE DAY!"

Out of nowhere doors slammed, footsteps sounded and Gee, Fitz and Will popped up and ran down the stairs.

Mrs Darcy smiled smugly at her rather shocked husband.

"You'd be surprised the effect a -err- _certain_ name can have on the people in this household."

Certain name? Say _whhaaatttt_…..

"Lizzie you made it!" Gee squealed, locking her arms around my neck.

"God- Gee- Can't- Breathe." I stuttered pointing to my neck.

"Let the poor girl go before she suffocates." Mr Darcy said, stepping around his shrieking daughter.

"And _none _of us want that." Fitz added waggling his eyebrows to a blushing Will.

He seems to be doing that a lot lately…Blushing that is…Maybe he got sun burn and he's actually just got burnt cheeks…

No, no…Will doesn't burn; he couldn't burn…Oh Lord no. He just has to look at the sun and he tans into a godly perfection… Bloody douchebag being heaven to my eyes…

"Elizabeth" Will stammered "I didn't realise you were coming round." He threw a deadly look at Gee before smiling at me.

"Oh, err, yeah. I am- well obviously I am, I'm already here, I mean…err…yeah…I'm round" Did I just say 'I'm round'. I'M ROUND!

"Here that is" I added quickly "I'm round here…at your house…As you can see…" My speech just kind of teetered off while Gee looked at me with one eyebrow raised and Fitz looked like Christmas had come early.

Something tells me this is going to be one interesting weekend…

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**Author's Note (Again):  
**

** He-he! Did you like it...? Was it a load of codswobble...? Should I just send it to the recycling bin and never look back...? Only one way to find out...READ AND REVIEW! Let's see if we can make it 100 *squeals* If it gets to one hundred, I'll give you a special chapter! I promise! Anywho, what did you think? Mrs Bennet's advice is pretty awesome, is it not? All I can say is that Lizzie might reach a point of desperation and resort to listening to her mother...but at what cost? Oh this is soooo exciting *jumps up and down* I -kind of- knows what haaaapppppeeennnns -ish-. God I'm SOOO HYPER (again)! IN FACT I'M SO HYPER I'M GOING TO WRITE IN CAPS BECAUSE I'M THAT FRICKIN' AWESOME! Or I mIgHt MiX iT uP bEcAuSe I'm CoOl LiKe ThAt (You have no idea how hard I had to concentrate to write that!) ROOOWWWWAAAARRRRRRRR I'M A DINOSAUR! :D Anywayyyzziiieeesss, I have broken up for summer now *jumps and punches the air* so my updates will either be a) much faster b) much slower or c) the same. I'm not quite sure yet...I'll just see where the wind takes me :D All I know is I'm having an AUSTEN SUMMER TO THE MAX! Oh yesh! :D Have a great summer everyone (Unless you live in England like me where summer doesn't exist) :p**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	10. The Three Phases to an Ultimate Face Pal

**Author's Note:**

** Ah...*Looks out onto the discarded bank* I'm back...Look I know I say this like EVERY chapter but I'm really sorry for the late update! I know I told a lot of you that I should have updated by the end of last week at the very least but yeah...I didn't. First of all, I got banned off the laptop (Yes, again), then I had to watch England screw up the Olympic Opening Ceremony (So patriotic aren't I...? Tbf, it was actually quite good) and then I kind of ended up watching the Vlogbrothers (I'm trying to watch every video by the end of the holidays) so...yeah...Busy life huh? But anyway, after many attempts I now have the second chapter of the Sleepover *Wahhoooo* so, what else is left to say other than enjoy! I hope you are all having a fabulous Summer (Or whatever season it is in your country) and that you are all relaxed and chilled out and ready for some TOPLESS DARCY ACTION! Whoops...Did I say that out loud...naughty naughty :D Anyway, without making you wait any longer I give you (Dun dun dun duuuuunnnn) Chapter TEN! (I know TEN!) of The 'Will' Situation! Enjoy my lovelys!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

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**Disclaimer:  
**

** Just to save confusion I would like to say I own none of the said characters with the exception of Will. He is mine. Get your own.****  
**

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Previously**  
**

_"Oh, err, yeah. I am- well obviously I am, I'm already here, I mean…err…yeah…I'm round" Did I just say 'I'm round'. I'M ROUND!_

_"Here that is" I added quickly "I'm round here…at your house…As you can see…" My speech just kind of teetered off while Gee looked at me with one eyebrow raised and Fitz looked like Christmas had come early._

_Something tells me this is going to be one interesting weekend…_

* * *

The Three Phases to an Ultimate Face Palm.

_Left, swish, left, swish, left, swish and turn, flick your hair then give them the look..._

_That's it- give them the look like you've never given anyone the look before…_

(Partly because you've never given anyone the look before but-)

"Lizzie…Are you swishing in front of the mirror?" Gee asked sceptically, walking into the room.

I turned around quickly, wrapping the towel around me.

"Me? Swishing? Pft….No….." Schnitzel.

She raised one perfect eyebrow and grabbed the pile of towels off the bed.

"You ready?"

How does NO sound?

"Not quite…" I looked out of the window, nervously, towards the pool.

Had it always been that deep? Had it always been THAT far away from the house? Had this Bikini always felt this tight? Had this Bikini always been this revealing?

"Lizzie. For the BILLIONTH TIME! You. Look. Fine." Gee shouted, exasperated.

Did she just say I looked fine? Fine. FINE!

"Fine, my darling, is not good enough."

"OH GOD!" She screamed, practically pulling her hair out. "YOU ARE SUCH A _GIRL_!"

Oh no she _didn't_!

"No I am NOT!"

"Oh YES you are!"

What… Are we in a pantomime now?

I cut my eyes at her while she glared.

Eventually (When she realised if she didn't give in, we were going to be standing here all day) she sighed and smiled at me.

"Lizzie, you look drop dead gorgeous…Honestly" She added, seeing I was about to start protesting.

"And it's only going to be William and Fitz down there…It's not like you're going to run into…I don't know…Justin Bieber!"

Only Will! Ha!

Oh Gee…If only you knew…

And what's Justin got to do with anything….?

Anyway, I have more important things to worry about than Justin friggin' Bieber.

For example, I think I may have just discovered a match of hair on my left leg….

This is why you don't trust Lydia and Kitty with a pack of wax.

I wanted Jane to do it but she was being ridiculous.

She was like "Oh Lizzie I don't want to hurt you…I'll peel it off slowly…"

At this point, I'm face palming the floor (To the max) with a mouth full or carpet screaming

"DON'T PEEL IT! RIP IT, BLOODY RIP IT!"

I tried snatching my leg away but Lydia and Kitty were acting has human leg clamps while Mary heated up the wax.

The next thing I know, I heard a horrible pealing noise (Kind of like pealing a piece of paper covered in glue off another piece of paper) and I felt pain like I'd never felt it before. I swear…if childbirth is worse than that Mum can go to hell and find some Grand Kids there.

Jane tried to calm me down with her 'soothing' words but they were kind of lost out by my –err- rather _selective_ choice of vocabulary…

Anyway, since Mary refused to go anywhere near my 'woolly mammoth' of a leg and there was NO WAY IN HELL I was letting mum in a five mile radius of me with a tub of hot wax, Kitty and Lydia had the joys of de-hairing each leg.

To be fair to them they were pretty good…Unlike Jane they weren't afraid of hurting me (In fact they were quite the opposite) so they ripped it off like there was no tomorrow.

At least I thought they were pretty good but from where I am standing that looks very much like a patch of brown hairs on the back of my left knee-

"Hey Darcy! Over here!" Fitz's voice sounded from down below.

I looked out of the window to see a shirtless Fitz running around the side of the pool. He was wearing what looked like purple trunks (Only he would wear purple trunks) and had his arms outstretched as if to catch something.

Darcy ran into view not long afterwards with a ball in his hands. It looked like the football they use in actual games…I forgot he likes football…He's very good at football…Mmmmhhhmmmm….I love it when he plays football.

Unlike Fitz he was wearing a shirt (Thank the Lord) and dark grey short-type things…I think they were supposed to be trunks but I couldn't quite see-

"Lizzie? Are you quite done gawping at my brother and cousin?" Did she just say gawping? At Fitz! And Will? Okay…So maybe Will…BUT FITZ!

"I was NOT gawpin-" Before I could finish she grabbed my arm and practically dragged me out the room.

"Come on! I want to get a tan _this_ side of the grave!" She whined, pulling me down the corridor and stairs. "And before you start all over again, you look gorgeous okay?"

When we reached the French doors that lead to the garden, she shoved the towels into my arms.

"What the-"

"I've just got to go grab something off mum. Take these down to the pool and I'll be down in a sec."

Is she serious! I'm supposed to be HER 'guest'! Hosts don't abandon their guests!

She rolled her eyes "How many times…Its _only _Will and Fitz!"

She spun round on her heel and walked back out the door muttering about "how you'd think One Direction themselves were in the house."

It's okay for her though…I mean, She looks great! She's one of those girls who were created to wear a Bikini. She has the tan, the figure and the golden blonde hair… She's like that yummy golden brown cookie with the pretty frosting. Me? I look like someone poured a glass of milk in a sandwich bag and the put an elastic band around it. Oooooh….How very attractive…Milk in a plastic bag- every boys dream girl…

I suppose my legs aren't that bad…Waxed, lotioned and READY FOR ACTION!

Okay, so that sounded a bit wrong, but honestly….they're actually quite nice.

They don't seem to be as pale as the rest of my body (For once) and the wax has left them looking silky and glossy…Yum.

Maybe I could just wrap the towel around the top half of my body and leave my legs exposed?

OH GOD! Why is this so hard!

Look…Deep breath…Now drop the towel.

_But I can't_

Drop it…

_But then they'll see me and all my flab and wobble._

You are a young, thin, beautiful women; you have no flab.

_Tell that to the legs._

Drop it.

_Wibble-wobble wibble-wobble..._

DROP IT!

Sugar honey ice tea, if I don't drop this towel soon I'm gunna go into SERIOUS panic mode!

Breath…Breath…Breath…

Come on Lizzie…Keep Calm and Carry on.

Stay true to your English roots Lizzie and Keep Calm and Carry on.

I dropped the towel and threw it onto a lounger.

LET'S DO THIS SHIP! –Yes I said ship.

Left, swish, left swish-

"Darce, you doof, pass it here."

Left, swish, left, swish-

"Come and get it."

Left, swish, left, swish-

"But I can't reach!"

Left, swish, left, swish-

"That's the point!"

I turned the last corner to see a sight that caused my heart to go into a near frenzy.

Will was standing shirtless (His shirt was lying discarded on the floor in front of me) on his tip toes holding a ball out of Fitz's reach.

Fitz, on the other hand, was jumping up and down trying to grab the ball out of Will's hand. They were standing dangerously close to the pool and if Fitz jumped just a little more to the left-

"Lizzie!" Fitz gasped in surprise, looking at me.

Okay Lizzie…He's talking to you…You should probably close your mouth and stop drooling before he notices…

As soon as Fitz said my name, Will's head shot round and his eyes widened to the size of saucers…Emerald green saucers…

"Elizabeth!" He breathed, his wide eyes scanning my body VERY slowly…a bit too slowly for my liking. Do I look that bad? "You look-"

Before he could finish Fitz jumped up one last time, grabbed the ball out of his hands and pushed him into the pool with a huge splash.

"Hot." Fitz finished with a smirk "Very hot."

Oh. My. Gawd.

Did he just say hot?

Will surfaced, gasping and splashing around. His curly locks were tangled and covered in little water crystals and his chest…Good Lord…

I could never understand what mum meant about her 'poor old nerves being all a quiver'…until now that is…

"YOU!" He shouted, stabbing a finger in Fitz direction.

"Yes it is I. How can I help you on this fine day?"

If looks could kill I think Fitz would be stone dead on the ground.

Perhaps I should help…?

But then I'd have to move and the view from here is just too good…

That lovely, golden brown, muscular back of his...PHWAH!

Be mine Will. Pretty please with a cherry on top.

"Now, now…" Fitz smiled, stepping backwards from an advancing Will. "Don't forget about our lovely guest."

Stopping in his tracks, Will turned around and looked at me, a small blush rising in his cheeks. He ran a hand through his hair (making it even more dishevelled) and smiled.

"You okay down there?" I grinned, setting the towels down on a nearby table.

"Perfect thanks" His eyes darkened as he looked me over once more.

Right…I'm about to do something I never thought I'd do before (At least not optionally) I am going to listen to my mother…

Shock, Horror I know…But it has to be done.

If Fitz thought I looked hot before, I'm about to look smokin'...

Phase One: The Flick-y hair, Swishy hips.

I flicked my hair over my shoulder, just like Lydia showed me, and swayed my hips (Though not in time to 'Don't you want me' because quite frankly that song now gives me nightmares) as I walked over to the edge of pool.

Giving a small, but mysterious, smile I bent down until I was level with Will.

Fitz's jaw hit the floor and Will didn't appear to be breathing.

"Do you need any help?" I asked, letting the smile play on my lips.

And my Mum said I couldn't pull this off.

Will opened his mouth but no coherent sound came out.

"F**k me" Fitz said in a distant voice "Get your own Will, she's-"

"Bloody hell guys!" Gee laughed, skipping round the corner. "You look like you've seen an angel!"

I looked up at Gee who winked. "See? Told you you looked drop dead gorgeous didn't I?"

Will, who seemed to have regained a bit of sense, swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out.

Oh for the sweet love of Christ…

His trunks were dripping wet and were sticking to his legs like a second skin…And his legs! Long, muscular and tanned…I say no more…

Will looked at me one last time and then shook his head and turned to Fitz.

"Pass me the ball will you?" He stammered.

"Why?"

"I need to put it away."

"Why?"

"No ball games!" Gee glared at Fitz before Will could answer.

Half-heartedly, he threw the ball over the pool, though not necessarily to Will.

The ball came rushing through the air towards me and Gee.

Will wants the ball? Well he's going to have to get through me first…

Phase two: Accidental touching.

I rushed forward and snatched up the ball before Gee could. That balls mine dude!

Cradling the ball, I turned to Will with one eyebrow arched.

Am I really going to get into a cat and mouse chase? And at my mother's suggestion at that?

But to be far to her she got my dad right? How bad can she be…then again, how hard was my dad to- Actually, I don't want to know.

"Thanks." He smiled shyly holding his hand out.

"What for?" I challenged.

"The ball." He stretched his hand out further.

"Who said I'm going to give it to you." Give him the look like we practiced! Give him the look!

His eyebrows knitted together and he cocked his head to the side slightly as if in deep thought.

"Elizabeth…" He finally said "Can I have the ball?"

And now Lizzie, it's your time to shine…

"No."

He raised an eyebrow to match mine, and his lips broke into a small smile.

"Fine." He said, eyes flashing mischievously.

Oh Lord…what have I done…?

Gee slowly backed out of Will's way and Fitz winked at me.

"Good luck….you're going to need it."

What the-

My thoughts, however where soon interrupted by the sight of Will running towards me.

Crap.

Before I could even understand what was going on he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

FTL how did he do that! He picked me up like I weighed nothing.

If I wasn't aware of the fact that:

a) I was not on my feet and in fact over Will's shoulder

b) I was WAY too high up in the air (When did he get this tall)

and c) That I was pretty certain my Bikini was slipping out of place

I would have taken time to appreciate the smoothness of his shoulders, the heat radiating off his body, the muscular frame of his chest and how if I looked hard enough I could see all the way down to the grove in his back (His shorts moved when he picked me up) but I was aware of these things, so I didn't.

Okay that's a lie…I did…but only a very little bit.

I struggled and kicked but he just wouldn't let go! Friggin' hell! How strong is he?

I could just about make out Gee's laughter and Fitz's howling and Will trying to coax me into letting go off the ball before he threw me in the-

WHAT! He can't throw me in the pool!

Before I knew what I was doing I kicked my leg out really hard. As my leg kicked back in (I suppose) it hit something hard and I heard a groan. It sounded quite like a man groaning. In fact, it sounded quite like Will groaning.

Oh Crapsicles.

He put me down slowly, one hand clamped over his nose, but through his fingers I could see the blood.

Seriously! What are the chances! This is the last time I ever listen to my mother…EVER!

"Oh my god Will I'm so sorry!" I gushed, internally face palming myself.

I'm such a frickin' ninnybob.

"It's okay." He said in a voice that showed he wasn't okay at all.

His voice sounded very strained and as he moved his hand he winced.

Fudge.

Gee and Fitz weren't exactly helping…If they were laughing before they were positively screeching now.

"I'll go get your mum or dad or something." Oh how am I going to explain this one!

Oh hi Mr and Mrs Darcy. I've just come to tell you that your son is excessively bleeding after I kneed him in the face during another one of my unsuccessful plans to trap your son into a relationship. You're Welcome!

I can feel my face burning just at the thought.

"They're out." Gee managed to squeeze out in between howls. Such a loving sister…

Hold on. If they're out firstly, when the hell did they leave and secondly, what on god's earth was Gee doing when she said she was going to get something off her mum.

Sly little-

"Look Lizzie its fine" he said wincing again, ah man that's a lot of blood. It's everywhere.

It's like a blood fest. No actually, a blood vest. It's a bloody blood vest (No pun intended)

"I'll just go clean up." He turned back towards the house and took his hand off from over his nose and pinched it instead, tilting his head back.

Oh Scnitzeldoodle. If I thought there was a lot of blood before, it's nothing compared to what I'm seeing now. FUDGEY FUDGE FUDGE!

"Look let me help."

"Lizzie honestly I'm fine."

Your nose, which is gushing with blood, would like to say otherwise.

"Will. I'm helping." I said in a don't-mess-with-me voice.

I ran ahead and opened the door for him, as he walked into the kitchen.

Phase Three: Die of embarrassment.

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**Author's Note (YES I DO TWO FOR EACH CHAPTER, PROBLEM?):**

** Okay, so I've got to wrap this up quickly because my mum's demanding the laptop. I now have to put MY laptop downstairs in the cupboard before I go to bed to 'ensure that I do not go on it during the night'! What am I supposed to do now in the night? Sleep! Good Lord, The hard ships of being young! Anywho, I should update by the beginning of next week but I really can't promise anything. I've just started a course that's six days long. It starts at 10 and finishes at four so it's _pretty_ time consuming but I like it all the same! For that reasons I may be late updating (See, I have a decent excuse) so don't kill me if I am, okay? Also I would just like to say that I'm TEN CHAPTERS IN TO MY FIRST EVER MULTI CHAPTER FAN FICTION! *happy dance* And I wouldlike to thank you for all your continued support and guidance and that you guys make all the hours i spend hunched up over a laptop writing this load of crap worth it, so thank you! When I first published this I never expected for one second to get such a response as I did, and all the way through you guys have continuously supported me! So keep reviewing! We're at 113 at the moment so lets bump it up! A hudred reviews! Who would have thought!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**


	11. The Return of Elle B

**Author's Note:  
**

** HELLO MY DEAR FRIENDS! Long time, no see! Now I've got to be quick Miranda is on and then after that Parade's end**

**is on and as much as I love you all, I REFUSE to miss Benedict Cumberbatch for A.N.Y.O.N.E. Like seriously...No joke. I called my mum to come and pick me up from my friend's house so I could go back and watch it when it started. ANYWAY, this message comes to you in 4 parts (Yes, you may notice quite a few Vlogbrothers references...all will become clear in a second.) So without further ado Part 1. I am SO sorry for it taking so long to update. As some of you may no my laptop broke and then got kidnapped and held hostige by my father because I spend "too much time on it" and "I need this thing called sunlight". I don't see why...Edward Cullen does just fine without it. So I sincerly apologise and I thank all of you who have stuck with the story despite my recent 2. I would love to say that since I took so long updating I should give you and update like everyday until twenty thirteen BUT my teachers seem to have other ideas. I have been back at school a little over a week and this is my first weekend with homework since being back. And since my teachers /love/ me /so/ much (Sarcasm?) guess how many pieces of homework I've got. FOURTEEN! FOURTEEEEEEEENN! What the fudge? It seems as though this year my work load is going to increase with mocks and controlled assesments and all the other crap that comes with it. So before when I was updating like every week, its probably going to be like every two to three weeks (I'm sorry) but I'll try and make them longer. Part 3. This chapter has been such a bugger to write after the response of the last one and having left it so long to write it I kind of lost my flow and ideas BUT here it finally is. I've re-wrote this chapter nine times now and this is three/four versions rolled into one. I decided to post it today because a) I finished today and b) I wanted to update today to mark the 1000TH VLOGBROTHERS VIDEO! *Hoo-Ha, NERDFIGHTER!* So you may see wuite a few Vlogbrothers refernces in here. Part 4. So finally, I've delayed you long enough so its time I give you what you deserve. This, my lovilies, is the eleventh chapter of "The 'Will' Situation" It may not be the best...But still...I hope you enjoy.  
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**DFTBA  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.S. Sorry for the long message...I had a lot to say :D  
**

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**Disclaimer:  
**

** Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. **** Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.** DUMBLEDORE! Sorry...I've had that in my head all day. I'm not Austen I'm just a WAY too obsessed fan who is insistent on butchering her work :D

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****Previously

_"Lizzie honestly I'm fine."_

_Your nose, which is gushing with blood, would like to say otherwise._

_"Will. I'm helping." I said in a don't-mess-with-me voice._

_I ran ahead and opened the door for him, as he walked into the kitchen._

_Phase Three: Die of embarrassment._

* * *

The Return of Elle B

The sun pierced through the clouds and highlighted the light brown strands of hair in Will's usually dark hair. Rays of Autumn radiated from his head and caught in his eyelashes. His eyes twinkled and the emerald sea locked within them swirled passionately. Not that I can see any of this…I have other things on my mind right now…

"Does that hurt?" I asked, pinching Will's nose.

"No." He said for the hundredth time.

"What about now." I pinched harder.

"No! Elizabeth I'm fin- OW!"

"Oh I'm sorry" I said, innocently "I thought you were _fine_."

I dug my nails in a little harder for good measure. Better to be safe than sorry.

We had been at this for the past fifteen minutes. After the initial bleeding had finished Will had insisted he was 'fine' even though his nose had swollen to about TRIPLE ITS NORMAL SIZE!

I had made him lie down on the little island counter in the kitchen while I sat next to him and examined his nose.

On the programmes they always like say "Can you move your arm/leg/head/whatever?" And then the patient will be lying in a ditch or something screaming "NO!" To which they always reply "Then it must be broken!"

I tried asking Will if he could move his nose but he just raised that god-damn eyebrow and said "What do you think?"

I hate it when people say that. Do I look like Edward Cullen? Do I look like a frickin' mind reader? If I knew what you were thinking I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED YOU!

Since that didn't work I thought of the question everyone thinks of when they are faced with a medical dilemma…

CRAP! What do they do on Casualty?!

And that's why I've spent the past fifteen minutes prodding, poking and pinching Will's nose.

When I broke my arm Lydia punched it and asked if I could feel it, but I couldn't, so they figured it must be broken.

I don't want to punch Will's nose, I mean that would be awkward.

"Hey Will! Stay still while I punch your nose in will ya?"

Somehow I don't think that'd work.

We managed to get it to stop bleeding, you know, two boxes tissues later and the swelling was going down.

Being the martyr he is he wanted to do it all himself with no help but I was persistent. It was my fault so I could at least _try _to fix it…

And if that mean I had to spend a whole five minutes cleaning his very, _very_ muscular chest- I mean _bloody _chest, then so be it.

Someone had to do it…and I was _oh so _willing to help…What?! Don't judge me…

"I was fine until you dug your nails into my flesh!" He said, wriggling his nose (Which is the CUTEST thing I've seen…like EVER!).

"But did you feel it?" I asked waggling my eyebrows.

"What gave it away? My howl of pain, the nail marks forever imprinted on my nose or the bits of my flesh under your nails." He pouted and rubbed his nose.

Over dramatic much…?

"Will I'm being serious!" I whined "Your nose shouldn't have swollen that much and it's all red and I swear its slightly crooked when it used to be perfectly straight and-"

"And…?" He filled in when words failed me.

"It could be broken." I whispered horrified.

But Will (Being Will) just rolled his eyes and smiled.

Why is he so bloody calm! I'VE BROKEN HIS NOSE! Oh god….Wait till Caroline hears about this one…and Charlotte…Oh they're going to have a field day with this.

My breath started to quicken, and my hands started to tremble…I think I'm going to have one of my mother's world class nerve fits…Sweet Mother of Jesus…

"Elizabeth" He said softly "It's not broken."

Breathe in, breathe out, and breathe in, breath out.

"Honestly Elle B, its fine."

I froze on my spot.

Did he just call me Elle B? He hasn't called me Elle B in years…

Not that I'm complaining…How does he make such a childish name sound so perfect coming out of his lips?

"Elle B?" I asked.

A small smile played on his lips "What?! It suits you!"

"Whatever you say, _Willie D_." I grinned.

"I thought we agreed that once I turned thirteen you were never allowed to repeat that. EVER!" He smirked, sitting up.

"I can't remember ever agreeing to that _Willie D_."

He rolled his eyes and took some tissues from the table to clean his face.

I sat quietly and watched as he got up and rinsed his face over the sink and then began cleaning his chest.

I feel kind of bad…I should have helped really…I mean, I wouldn't have minded cleaning his chest off at all.

That definitely would NOT have been a hardship.

As he stood on his tip toes to get something from the top cupboard (wipes I think) the muscles in his legs flexed.

Mmmmm…Yummy…

I should probably stop staring. It's sort of scary but I can't look away.

It's kind of like when you watch 10 freakiest piercings, really. You want to look away because you know the pictures of those knuckle piercings are going to haunt you forever, but you just can't.

Okay…So it's not quite like that but still… Don't judge me!

He has such manly legs! How? He is FIFTEEN!

They are so tanned and smooth and-

Hold on. They're smooth…

Like really smooth…

Not that I'm touching them (Or have touched them) but they LOOK really smooth. And glossy. And tanned.

But he's a guy…How can his legs be smooth? Aren't they supposed to be like…hairy?

I mean I'm a_ girl_ and my legs were like two frickin' grizzly bears. Three packs of wax it took to tame them babies. THREE PACKS!

Actually, now that you mention it, I cannot see a single hair on his legs…Like at all.

OH MY GOD. William Darcy _shaves_?

No. He can't…..He's legs are too smooth for shaving, or hair removal cream.

Does he wax?

I know athletes wax…But he's not an athlete...Or like a biker or model or anything.

I tilted my head to the side with my mouth gaping and my eyebrows knitted together (How very attractive indeed. My mother would be well proud) staring at his legs.

Maybe he has invisible hair…Can you have invisible hair? I wish I had invisible hair…It would make life SO much easier…

My head is practically hanging upside and I have donned my famous concentration face.

Blonde hair? He could have blonde hair…

Will turned around slowly and gave me the #dudeareyou_okay_ look.

Dude I'm friggin' fine. Just wondering HOW THE HELL YOUR LEGS ARE SO SMOOTH!

"Do you wax?" I blurted out suddenly.

His eyes widened in shock and a tint of red spread across his cheeks.

STUPID STUPID MOUTH!

"Pardon?"

"I said do you…" _What rhymes with wax? What rhymes with wax!_ "Have an axe…"

"An axe." He repeated, eyebrows raised.

If he doesn't stop doing that I am going to peg his bloody eyebrows to his eyelids.

"Yeah…" I answered vaguely.

"You want to know if I have an axe."

"That's kinda why I asked, aye aye." I said, trying to do the whole nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

He wasn't buying it…

And so thy self and thy William were plunged-eth into the desolate land of awkward lemons, never to return…

Well isn't this fun…

"Is your nose okay?"

"Oh –err- yeah…I told you Elle B, I'm fine." He looked up at me, his eyes smiling from under his lashing.

WAHOW! Dude! Are you trying to bloody kill me!

What is wrong with him! He can't just look at someone like that, with the whole:

_Oh look at me with my beautiful big green eyes that sparkle in the sun light under my long thick dark lashes…_

And not expect them to pass out on the spot.

This boy should come with a government health warning!

Caution! This boy is GUARANTEED to 'bewitch you, body and soul'.

Not quite trusting my mouth I just smiled and nodded.

"Right" He said, throwing the tissues in the bin "I think I'm done. Do I look okay?"

_Do I look okay?_ He's kidding right?

"No you look absolutely awful." I answered archly.

He laughed sarcastically and stuck his tongue out.

"You never know…"

"You're such a girl." I scoffed.

"You're such a boy."

"You're such a geek."

"Coming from you!" He exclaimed.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Nerd I'll accept (With pleasure) but geek?

"Remind me again" He said, sweetly "What are the six flavours of a Quark."

"UP, DOWN, STRANGE, CHARM – TOP, BOTTOM! IF YOU don't know what a…" I sung until his thanks-for-proving-me-right face cut me off.

Oh right….Point taking.

It's not my fault that I'm raising nerdy to the power of awesome is it?!

"Well I'm not the one with the whole Star Trek Next Gen box set." I shot back.

"And I'm not the one with like nearly EVERY BOX SET of Doctor Who since Rose joined." He retorted "Plus…Star Trek's awesome and you know it."

Resisting the urge to break out into LMFAO singing "Trekkie's awesome and you know it."

"It's alright I suppose…"

"ALRIGHT!"

"Okay…fine…" He looked at me as if waiting for something "Trekkie's kind of awesome."

"Thank you….I appreciate that."

He slid of the counter and walked towards me.

"We should probably get back to the pool before Fitz and Gee come marching through covered in Grass and Water."

"I'm sure your mum would _love_ that…"

We started towards the door reluctantly. Maybe he wants to stay alone with me just as much I do with him…

"How does pool volleyball sound?"

He has to be joking right? Did he forget how he ended up with a very nearly possible broken nose?

"You're really going to trust me with a ball again?"

"Of course…

Just be gentle with me this time, Elle B" He whispered, winking, as he walked through the French doors.

888

_I know you've been hurt by someone else_

_I can tell by the way you carry yourself._

_If you let me, here's what I'll do _

_I'll take care of you (I'll take, I'll take, I'll take)_

_I've loved and I've lost._

I sang along in my head as I dried off my legs on the sun loungers.

The sun washed through me and cleared out my head as memories rushed through my mind.

Climbing trees, running through fields, Will's smile…That smile that's so unique…I've never quite seen anyone else smile like it…But him that is…

"Off with the fairies again?" Mrs Darcy walked through the French doors, wearing a floral summer dress and flip flops.

She sat of the lounger next to me and smiled.

"When did you get back?" I asked, squinting in the sun light.

"Only just…I have been informed though, that you apparently required my _expertise _earlier."

I raised an eyebrow while she pointed delicately to her nose.

Gee…

Note to self: When you find Gee please give her a nice, good SLAP from me. Thank you.

"About that-" I began.

Mrs Darcy laughed and held her hand up for me to stop "A true gentleman never attacks a lady."

"A true lady never steals a gentleman's ball."

"Oh yes she does." She looked up to the sky and smiled "It's the oldest trick in the book my dear… Shakespeare: She tells him she has his ring so he must return to collect it, giving her another chance to converse with him. Austen: she steals the lieutenants sword, making him chase after her to get it back. A game of cat and mouse I believe."

Only she could relate this back to old English literature. How did she…

I must look like a frickin' bright red tomato.

Another Note to Self: Find a hole, crawl in it and stay there. FOREVER.

Seeing my blushing face she winked "We've all been there and done it…In fact, I think I still have Thomas's pencil case from Year 9…" _Dear Lord…"_Anyway, Having fun?"

She's always so kind and caring…Always making sure everyone else is okay before taking care of herself…She's so selfless…When she's not deciphering every single move you make or embarrassing you to the heavens that is.

"Of course." I laughed "Thank you for having me."

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand with a flick of her wrist "Oh Pish. You know you're always welcome here. If anything, we don't have you often enough!"

"You'll regret the day you said that." I know Charlotte's mum did…

"I can promise you I won't…And I know for sure that _some_ people would be honoured to have your presence here more often…" I followed her gaze to see Will flicking a towel at Fitz who was holding his like a whip.

I stifled a sigh as his deep, rich laughter enveloped my ears…His smile was truly infectious…

It was only until Mrs D tapped me on the shoulder that I realised she had been talking to me.

I _really_ need to start paying attention more often…

"One day Lizzie, you'll open your eyes and see that the answers to all your burning questions are right in front of you. Everyone else can see them but you and the sooner you realise that the better. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel Lizzie…you just have to keep walking to find it."

She smiled at me looking rather and impressed and amused with herself.

Why do all the Darcy's insist on being so cryptic? Quite frankly, it's giving me a headache.

"I thought you told your husband not to talk in riddles?" I asked archly.

"Indeed I did…"

I sat quietly and waited for her to elaborate on what she had just said.

Tunnels…Questions…

I'm right now.

"How's this" She said, looking back at Will "Don't give up just yet. Boys were never ones to understand emotions even if they came and slapped them in the face." She turned to me and tapped my knee "Better?"

"No…Not really" I replied shaking my head.

Chuckling she stood up and stretched.

"Too bad…Good things come to those who wait. Now, if you don't mind I have shopping to go put away. I did leave Thomas in charge but from when he put bread in the same bag as frozen peas in Waitrose, and then asked me where the _biscuits_ went when we got home, I knew he couldn't be trusted." I gave a little wave as she walked back through the French doors, back to her husband.

I watched her silhouette through the glass walk up to Mr Darcy, hit is arm playfully and then hug him and peck him on the check.

They'd been like this for as long as I could remember. Twenty five years they'd been together…Childhood sweethearts.

As I carried on drying off, listening to Will and Fitz's shouts, screams and laughter I couldn't help but think; when I'm older…I want to have a relationship like that.

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**Author's Note:**

** *Winces* I know...Don't kill me, I'm sorry. I know it wasn't as good but I'm getting back into the flow. I promise. As always I would love to know what you think because more reviews equals happy author :D And it would be AWESOME to have 150 reviews...Just saying...You know, just thought I should put that out there. While you are reviewing I would just like you to answer two questions for me because there are some things I'd like to know. Firstly, next chapter. At Will's house still, Lizzie's house or school, because the sleepovers dragging and I don't want it to TOTALLY take over everything. Secondly, are any of you out there watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on Youtube because I am like ADDICTED! Me and my friend (Because I've now got my friend hooked) have been spazzing about it all week. If you are, what do you think of Wickham? And Charlotte? And Lizzie? I'd just like to know because me and my friend have had MANY debates over our opinions about them (FYI, I'm team Lizzie all the way...If there is teams). If you don't watch The Lizzie Bennet Diaries YOU NEED TOO. I didn't even know they existed like two months ago. It wasn't until a very lovely person (You know who you are!) recommended them too me, and trust me, they are worth checking out! It's a whole modern retake of P&P thats told through Vlogs (Video Blogs) by Lizzie. If you start now you can catch up on all you've missed! So anyway, thats enough from me. I'd just like to say a final thank you to all my loyal readers and ask you to keep on reading and reviewing!****  
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**Ally xxx  
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**P.S. If anyone knows how to sooth a burnt nose from accidently smelling pure chlorine in a gone-wrong science experiment...That'd be really useful. Like, REALLY.****  
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	12. Creepy McCreepy's Creepy Chess Club

**Author's Note:**

** HEY HEY! WHAT'S UP!? Are you proud? I'm proud. I said "I'll have a chapter up by the end of the week" and WHAMBAMSLAM holey moley I actually have! I may have had to put my homework aside. I may have had to ignore my blog project. I may have even had to ignore my friends, but I still did. So, anyway, there are a few things I want to ask you before we get started. Firstly, me and my two friends have started up a project on Tumblr. We're trying to keep a sort of online diary but we haven't actually started yet. We were supposed to start on Thursday then take it in turns but Lizard's (My friends) internet broke (How's that even frickin' possible) and RhiRhi (Other friend, who I know is reading this...Hi!) still hasn't quite figured out how to use Tumblr (Blog tutorial here I come). But I would really appreciate it if you checked it out anyway. All that I've done so far is covered our page with rants about Fifty Shades of Grey's display in Waterstones and P&P GIFs (THEY'RE AWESOME!)...Or and LBD GIFs too. I'm hoping to blog more about things I've watched recently (e.g. Doctor Who, Parades End and of course P&P) so we would really like some more followers! It will get better I promise! **** .com- Web address since I can't use links. Also I was wondering if anyone watched the last episode (EVER!) of Parade's End and if so your thoughts...? I really liked it but the end was...not disappointing as such just...disappointing. Not as in "Oh that wasn't as good as I wanted it to be" more of "THAT'S WHO HE CHOSES!". So yeah opinions on the ending and of Sylvia would be much appreciated. Also, due to a recent arguement me and my aunt had, I'd like to know your opinions of Period Drama's in general because according to my family, I'm the only person that watches them -_- So with out making you wait any longer, I give you the 12th Chapter of "The 'Will' Situation"! Enjoy my little friends...**

**Ally xxx**

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**Diclaimer:**

** None of the characters used in this story belong to me (With the exception of Will Darcy...okay...maybe not) they all belong to the magnificant Austen. I make no profits whatsoever from this story except for knowing that I may have made someone somewhere in this suckey world smile... And that's about as sentimental as I get... :D****  
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**Dedication:**_  
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** So I very nearly forgot about this...oops. I was talking to someone through PMs the other day and I made a promise that I don't think they thought I was going to keep...Well Well...Here I go.  
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**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Dee the Dear (Do you have caps in your name...I'm not sure) for being a frequent reviewer and a truly awesome human being...I may start doing this more often...Dedicating chapters feels nice...****  
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_Previously_

_I watched her silhouette through the glass walk up to Mr Darcy, hit is arm playfully and then hug him and peck him on the check._

_They'd been like this for as long as I could remember. Twenty five years they'd been together…Childhood sweethearts._

_As I carried on drying off, listening to Will and Fitz's shouts, screams and laughter I couldn't help but think; when I'm older…I want to have a relationship like that._

* * *

Creepy McCreepy's Creepy Chess Club

It's Monday. And as you all know, I HATE MONDAY! But…The sun is shining and the breeze is- well- breezing? And-

Look it's a nice day okay? Stop bugging me!

School starts in like twenty minutes but since before school is where all the action takes place (Oo-er) me, Jane and Charlotte are already here. Fresh-faced, chirpy and in Charlotte's case, slightly hung over (She went to some radical family party…don't ask.).

The Library doesn't open for another five minutes (The torture) and since Charlotte may have possibly been banned from there (Again…Don't ask…All I'm saying is that it involved a pretend light saber being used as a rounder's bat.) we can't go there and hang out anymore.

And since Mr Archer became deputy, there's no chance we can hang around the corridors unless we want a "membership to happy club" (To me and you that's an hour after school detention…oh the joys…). I'm telling you, the man has eyes like a hawk! Just last week he told Fitz off for having his shirt un-tucked and Fitz was like "Sir my shirt _is_ tucked in." and then Mr Archer was all like (Cue creepy weirdo voice) "But it wasn't when you were walking to school this morning…"

That was the only time (And will remain the only time) Fitz ever walked to school…like ever…

Scary Schiznit I know…

Then there's the school canteen but that's where all the Year Eight and Nines boys who are too 'badass' (As they like to say) to play football. Basically, they inhale everything and anything with high levels of grease around them and prey on any (And I mean ANY) girl who walks into the hall. They're like mini pre-Bernadette, Howard's (As in Wolowitz) and it's scary because they actually think that a) they're a 'catch' and b) that I would rather spend a minute of my time talking to them than sticking a carving knife into my eye. (I would have said needle but really…they are THAT bad.)

It's like they have x-ray vision. They look at me and I feel like they can see through my uniform. Which is why me, Jane and Char always make sure are blazers are on and fully buttoned up before we even attempt to cut through there.

So anyway, to cut a long story short, this is why I find myself lying on the damp grass in between Charlotte and Jane at the back of the football pitch waiting for school to start.

Charlotte was eager to find somewhere _private_ to talk about my weekend but I've managed to distract her so far…but I know it's only a matter of time…

"So what are my options again?" Charlotte asked, staring up at the clouds.

"Mr Carter, Creeps and Fitz." I repeated.

"Lizzie!" Jane hissed playfully, rolling over to face me "Stop calling him Creeps! He has a name!"

"Yeah but Creeps suits him much better."

She raised an eyebrow and glowered.

"Fine…Mr Carter, _Collins_ and Fitz…"

"And I can snog, marry or avoid them." Charlotte inquired, ticking off each option on her fingers.

"That's kind of the game…" Jane giggled.

"And whatever I say never and I mean NEVER" She gave Jane a pointed look "leaves this…Grass patch thing."

Me and Jane motioned locking our lips and throwing away the key.

"Okay…Here I go…" She took a deep breath and then hoisted herself up so she was leaning on her elbow.

"I'd avoid Creeps- I mean Collins" She corrected before Jane could whine "_obviously_. And then…"

Her brows knitted together as a lustful look took over her eyes.

"Don't tell me" I started "you'd snog Mr Carter…"

"Well…"

"CHAR!" Jane exclaimed "He's our English teacher!"

"Oh trust me, I am _fully_ aware…" She winked in reply.

"So you'd marry Fitz?" Hmmm….Interesting….

"What?! It's not like I can marry Mr Carter…I'm pretty sure there's laws against that."

"Or there's the fact he has a fiancée." Jane reminded her.

"But she could easily be bunked off."

"CHAR!"

"So what you're saying is that you won't marry Carter because it's against the law, but if it was legal you would happily kill his fiancée to be with him?" Oh the irony…

"Nobody said I'd kill her…I'd just gently push- I mean _carry_ her out of the picture."

I rolled my eyes and looked up at the clear blue sky, listening to Jane and Char's little 'debate'.

"But Char he's our _teacher_."

"And a HAWT one at that!"

"You can't say that about a teacher."

"Jane, that right there is your problem. There's no need to start hating on teachers…"

"I'm not!"

"It's discrimination really. So very stereotypical of you…just because he's a teacher he can't be a hunky monkey?" Charlotte started doing her little (What she likes to call) 'saucy dance' which included a lot of shoulder waggling and wild eyebrow movements.

"I'm not saying that, you just can't _say_ he is!"

"But if he was a bin-man I'd be allowed to say he was f to the i to the t. But I can't coz he's a teacher. DISCRIMINATION IN THE NATION!"

"It's not discrimination, it's-"

"Lizzie back me up here." Char interrupted, looking at me lying in the middle of the argument.

"I'm sorry dude but I'm Switzerland." I replied, grinning.

"I should just go and buy a fence, stick it in the ground right here" Charlotte patted the ground next to me "And sit you on it."

Both of them lay waiting for my answer.

God I hate it when they argue.

I mean they don't even argue! Not properly anyway…

There's never any fights it's just a polite little debate where Jane will put across her opinion in a soft, sweet voice while Charlotte will bite back with something sarcastic. Where's the hair pulling and teeth breaking and- whatever else comes with it!

All I know is that if I don't give them an answer soon they're both going to turn on me.

"To be fair Jane you did use to blush every time he walked past you and giggle like a school girl when he asked you a question." Jane coloured at the memory of her year seven self.

Bless her little frilled cotton socks…

"But that was years ago and-"

"Case closed." Charlotte said with a smug smile "Mr Carter's fit, Collins is creepy, I am awesome and Lizzie still hasn't told us about her little endeavour over the weekend."

Both of them (Once again) turned to me with expecting faces.

Oh Schnitzel.

That was a bit sudden. I was at least hoping to have some kind of set up…Preparation…

Oh Lord…

"What endeavours…?" Drag it out Lizzie…Drag it like a dog on a lead.

Charlotte raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow and smiled "You know exactly what I'm talking about! Now come on, spill the deets!"

For someone who's supposedly 'hung over', Charlotte is very lively this morning…And very annoying.

"There's not really much to tell…"

Keep Calm and Carry On. Keep Calm and Carry On. Keep Calm and-

STUPID BLUSHING CHEEKS! Blood be gone! Retreat, retreat!

"So nothing happened…?"

"Nope" I shuck my head.

"Nothing at all?" Jane asked, raising her eyebrows.

She gave me the look as if to say you-should-tell-her-that-you-almost-broke-Will's-nose.

Are you for cereal?

Dude please! Get real!

I would literally |NEVER| hear the end of it. Like EVER!

"You are such a great big dirty liar because I know-"

But before she could finish we heard a wolf-whistle over from the football pitch and a boy shouting something that sounded a lot like "Jane!"

We all spun round to see Bing, Fitz and Will walking across the football pitch in a row.

Oh-My-Giddy-God.

Will was walking in between the two with his blazer over his shoulder and his bag swinging at the top of his thigh.

It was like something out of a film.

All he needed was a long field, a lot of mist and an open shirt. A very _very_ open shirt…Or maybe no shirt….either way I'm not bothered.

My eyes literally popped out of their sockets and my cheeks were so hot it hurt. Very attractive indeed.

I turned back around so I had my back to them and took in deep breaths to try and calm myself down.

Breathe in…Breathe out…Breathe in…Breathe out…Breathe in-

"Good Morning Elizabeth." Err…where was I again.

Oh crap yeah, BREATHE OUT!

I gasped, spluttered and started coughing so bad my eyes watered.

"Morning-_cough cough splutter_- Will- _cough cough_-" Sweet mother of Jesus…

"Are you okay…?"

Honestly…No…

I turned around to see Will's trousers right in front of me.

Well…If this isn't awkward…

From the corner of my eye I could see that our mini triangle had somewhat grown. It was more like a mini circle now. Jane and Charlotte had moved to sit facing the football pitch. Bing was sitting next to Jane whispering (Of course) and Charlotte was sitting opposite Fitz who was kind of sitting next to me…

This is one dodged up circle.

Will backed up slightly and sat down cross legged (Like us) opposite me and smiled.

Hhhmmmm…..I love it when he smiles…..

"We were just talking about you Will, weren't we Jane." Charlotte said sweetly.

"Oh...err…yeah." Jane, who clearly wasn't paying any attention, blushed and shifted slightly so she was facing everyone in the circle (Not just Bing).

Oh great…Well it looks like Charlotte's just booked me a ticket with no return to lets-embarrass-the-hell-out-of-Lizzie-Ville.

Yay…

"Should I be worried?" Will asked, looking up at me shyly, slightly flushed.

You shouldn't but I should.

"Not at all Will." Char replied brightly "We had nothing but the sweetest things to say about you. Didn't we Lizzie."

_Resist urge to slap the schnitzel out of Charlotte. RESIST._

I smiled tightly at Will before giving Charlotte the glare of the century.

Just where exactly is she going with this.

"Erm…Thank you…?" He answered, bewildered.

"You're welcome…

Did you have a nice weekend?"

So this is what she was getting at… Oh Lordy Lordy Lord.

"Yes it was great thanks." He looked up at me again and blushed, before looking at the ground and picking at the grass.

Why does he keep on doing that? Is _he_ okay?

"What'd you get up to?" I thought when you were hung over you were supposed to be horrible and miserable and hate the world. Not bright, happy and REALLY irritating.

"I…Err…Fitz came round." He gestured to Fitz.

"I did indeedy." Fitz grinned. "As well as another." He looked at me, waggled his eyebrows and laughed.

"Oh yes Lizzie!" Charlotte said in an oh-my-goodness-I-had-completely-forgot voice. Lying cow bag. "I forgot you went round to see Gee-Gee! What a coincidence!"

I really don't see how that's a coincidence at all…What would be a 'coincidence' is if my mums car accidently drives up the pavement and runs you down while you are walking home…yes that would be a tragic coincidence indeed…

I gave her a #dudeplease look and rolled my eyes.

"What. You mean to say Lizzie hasn't told you _anything_ about her weekend in the Darcy house?!" Fitz asked with a little too much enthusiasm.

If I didn't know better I would have said they'd planned this. Douchebags…

"No. She hasn't told me anything!" Fitz's eyes lit up like Christmas had come early.

"That's because you didn't ask." I said, glaring at Charlotte.

"Yes I did-"

"But how could you have asked when you had "_totally forgotten I'd gone round too!_"" I replied, imitating Char.

Now it was her turn to give me the glare of the century.

Even Jane and Bing had stopped there little whispers to listen in.

Will looked me straight in the eye and smiled. It was like he was telling me that as soon as Fitz tells Charlotte, some serious Schiznit is going to go down.

"So…"

"Well" Fitz started "Where should I begin. So much happened…" He grinned at a blushing me and Will then carried on "But I suppose the _funniest_ out of all of the stories I could tell you about our little weekend would have to be the pool side story."

Oh no.

Dear Earth,

I know this might be a bad time to ask, obviously, with all the global warming crap and everything, you must have a lot on your plate. But I was just wondering if you could do me a little favour…I don't suppose you could create a hole right where I'm sitting and suck me into it?

Yours Sincerely,

Elizabeth Bennet.

P.S. Anytime now would be GREAT…Just saying…

"Pool side you say..." Charlotte looked over at me a raised eyebrow.

"Oh yes…Pool side. All the funny things happen on the pool side."

I looked at Jane begging her with my eyes to cause a distraction but she just gave me a _told you so_ look.

Note to Self: I need more friends…and less sisters…

"Did any of you watch Star Trek yesterday?" Will piped up suddenly. "First Contact was on."

He looked around the circle to be greeted by silence, confusion and surprise.

"I like that one…" He muttered defeated.

"Nice try Will." Fitz chuckled happily "So anyway Charlotte as I was saying, there was this really funny incident by the side of the pool that involved a ball, bikini and a broken no-"

"HEY LIZZIE! OVER HERE!" Fitz's speech was cut off by someone I never thought (In a million years) I'd ever be glad to see…Collins.

We all stopped and looked to see the little plump figure of Collins 'running' across the grass, limbs flying everywhere.

Oh dear Lord…

Last time I saw him this excited to see me; I ended up spending my whole Saturday at the zoo, watching him get his face painted like a butterfly. This cannot be good.

"If we start now" I whispered to Charlotte "We could totally James Bond it over to the trees."

"Agreed." She whispered back from the corner of her mouth.

But before I knew it a breathless-sweating-like-a-pig Collins was standing in front of us, bent double.

"Bt-dubz" Fitz hissed "What the snickerdoodle is a 'James Bond' and why wasn't I invited?"

I rolled my eyes and was about to tell him to get lost when Collins stood up and cleared his throat.

"Good Morning Elizabeth" He said, trying to catch his breath when he finally reached us. "You look very nice today."

"Hey Collins." I smiled slightly. "And err…thanks…"

He bounced awkwardly on the balls of his feet, looking down at our circle.

His eyes briefly met Will's, who did NOT look happy at all.

"I must say" Although he was talking to me, he was still staring Will in the eye "have you done something to your hair?"

Charlotte snorted to the side of me and Bingley stifled a giggle. Yes, you heard right, I said _Bingley_.

"It looks darker."

"No Cree- Collins. I've just tied it up that's all."

I lifted my hand to my hair and ran my fingers through my fringe.

"No I'm sure you have…" he continued "there is definitely something different about it."

"She said she hasn't." Will answered in an unusually deep dark voice. "So drop it."

"OOOOOooooooOOOOOOOooooooo…Touch-ay." Fitz whispered in my ear, laughing.

But it wasn't funny. Will was never usually like that. He only ever acted all moody and weird when he was in a room full of lots of people or when meeting strangers.

Though he knows Collins…And I mean I know his annoying but…

But the truth of the matter is…I likey…

I am allowed to say that I just found that voice to be the most SMEXIEST THING EVER!

Can I say that?

"I was just saying that Eliza has very pretty hair." Collins shot back, narrowing his eyes.

"Her names Elizabeth and it would do you well to call her so." Will's blunt voice echoed through the trees.

I looked from a glaring Collins to a glaring Will. Why do I feel I slight bit of De Ja Vu here?

Memories of a past French lesson spun into my head. The last time I'd seen Collins and Will speak to each other, I'm _pretty_ sure that ended with me being .

Just like I am now…

How can Will go from being the shy flushy boy to the tall, dark and handsome man in the matter of minutes…

I feel like I have personality whip-lash.

"Why don't you come and join us Collins." Jane asked, softly, breaking the silence.

"No I'm okay." He eyed up Will one last time and then turned to me. "I just wanted to give _Eliza_" Cue cocky look at Will "Something…_If_ she doesn't mind."

And so all the eyes in the group turned to me…again…

Well I can't exactly say no can I?

"Err…Yeah okay…" I replied hesitantly.

Collins squealed and dived into his bag.

Charlotte nudged me slightly and nodded towards Will who was glaring at the grass.

Seriously, what's his problem?

The voice…Okay that was HOT…

But all this glary nonsense…Is still a little hot yeah- but STILL!

I stared at him with one eyebrow raised until he looked up at me.

"What's up" I mouthed, while Collins started pulling random crap out of his bag.

He shook his head and avoided my eyes.

"What's up?" I mouthed again frowning. His fists where clenched.

"Nothing" He mouthed back.

And so I raised my eyebrow even further, to which he then raised his eyebrow.

"Are you-"

"Eliza…"

I looked up to see Collins standing with a small poster in his hand.

Oh god…

And just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse- Collins shows up to prove me wrong.

He's starting to make a habit out of this…

"I wanted you to look at this…I made it myself." He extended his arm to give me the poster.

I gave Charlotte (Who was pretending to gag) a weary look, glanced at the poster and then up to Collins who was grinning like a fool.

So Earth…Since you failed to send me that hole in the ground earlier, how about now? Because now would suit me just fine…

Nope. Okay.

Collins was smiling ear to ear like a fool. Fitz was waggling his eyebrows at a still glaring Will. Charlotte and Jane were looking at the paper in my hands, one puzzled and one holding back a snort. And Bingley? Well he was wrapping pieces of Jane's long golden hair around his finger in awe.

He may not have the brains but at least his got looks…

Bless his little 100% pure ironed cotton socks…

"So what do you think?" Collins said, still twitching.

"About what…?"

"The club! Will you join? You came a few times last year and you were really good so I thought it'd be great if you were put on the team again and it would be an amazing opportunity for me and you to spend some more time together and for you to meet some new friends and-" I held up my hand to stop the random gush that was pouring out of Collins's mouth.

"What club?" I looked back down at the poster and actually read the big, bold, glittery letters on the front.

"Chess Club." Collins beamed.

Oh schnitzel.

Now; let me just explain something before you get the wrong impression.

Yes I went to chess club last year and yes, I can kind-of-not-really play chess…At least I can on the tutorial on my old DS.

So _"why did you go to chess club last year?" _ you may be asking yourselves- Which is a very valid question… for someone who doesn't know me at all…Like AT ALL.

Do you really need to ask me _why_ I went to chess club? Is it not obvious?

Let me give you a clue…Someone I know also happened to be in this club and was very good at chess.

This said person is a guy.

And his name starts with "Wi" and ends with "Ll"…

Guessed it yet..?

"Chess Club's starting again?" Will inquired, sitting up straighter.

"Yes" And cue an even cockier smile than the last "The first session is this lunch time."

"And how come I haven't been informed." He scowled.

"Oh haven't you been told…You've been kicked of the team."

"WHAT!" Everyone (But the grinning Collins) shouted in chorus.

"Oh yeah…didn't you know…"

"Why have I been kicked off?!" Will demanded, fuming.

"No offence Collins" All offence is intended "But Will was the best Captain- scrap that- PLAYER the team has ever had." I exclaimed.

He cannot be serious.

"Who kicked me off and why haven't I been told?"

"Me." Collins nasally voice squeaked "and I told you just now."

"Who are you to kick the captain off the team!" Will went to stand up but Fitz grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back down.

"The new captain…"

Everyone's jaw literally hit the ground…

COLLINS!?

"So anyway Eliza, as I was saying, it'd be a great opportunity-"

"I'm sorry" I interrupted "But I'm busy this lunch"

And I will be every other lunch time you ask.

"What about tomorrow?"

"Busy then too-"

"Don't be silly" Will cut in, smiling slightly at me "You were getting good…You should go."

And then everyone's jaw hit the floor again.

"I should…"

"Go." Will smiled at me and then grinned at Fitz. "It looks like you're the team's only hope."

"I agree…" Fitz added, vaguely, staring at a now beaming Will.

"So you'll be there?" Collins held the pen out to me and pointed to the sign-up sheet on the back of the poster.

"Yeah I guess…" Slowly I signed my name while still looking at Will.

I had seen Will wear many expressions over the years: anger, happiness, joy, sorrow, guilt, regret, delight but never, in all that time, had I seen him look like this, because right now Will looks like a man with a plan…

* * *

**Author's Note (Yes, again):**

** So...what'd ya think? I wrote the first half of this chapter immediatly after Chapter 11, whereas the last half was an idea that just came to me...Well no. That's a lie. The brainwave I had was actually about the NEXT chapter but I needed Collins to have a club of some sorts for it to happen (All will be made clear next time!)...OooooOOOOooooHHHHHhhhhh, I love a good mystery! So what did you all think of Wound-up Will and Cocky Collins? Did you get what they were ACTUALLY arguing about to begin with and why Will hates Collins so much? Why don't you all go review and tell me *grins* So I was looking at the views of this story the other day and I realised that I'm actually losing views with each chapter... *sniffs* Which means either one of two things, a) I'm not as funny as I used to be or b) I now have a band of loyal readers. The latter idea really excites me so I'd like to hear from you all at some stage for suggestions for the future chapters or so you could just let me know you're still there. And now I shall leave you to ponder on what on Earth Will could be up to...And how it could possibly involve Fitz...And a storage cupboard...  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

**P.S. I was just wondering if any of you where part of IGGY or had an account on the Nerdfighter ning. If so my username (For both I think) is- wait for it- JhaniiAllii (Imaginative I know) and since I have no friends on IGGY (*crys*) and one friend on the ning (THANK YOU HARRIATE SLATE-RES-HARI-AGNEW, YOU MADE OF AWESOME NERDFIGHTER!) I would really appreciate...well...more...  
**

**P.P.S. I will dedicate the next chapter to anyone who can find at least two references to LBD, whether it be something Lizzie said or Lydia SAYS (Hint, hint).  
**

**P.P.S. This is my longest chapter yet! *giggles like the fangirl she is*  
**


	13. Creeps, Will and the Cupboard of Rules

**Author's Note:**

** Hey...*sighs* I'm not even going to pretend like this chapter isn't a load of crap...because it is. But it's kind of essential for you to understand the /next/ chapter and BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU! At least when I plan it and write it I will...Lately, as some of you may know, I have been suffering from SERIOUS writers block due to the corner I wrote myself into (Again...I'm starting to make a habit out of this) in the last chapter. There was one part I couldn't quite figure out to make the plan slot together but this came to me while I was brushing my teeth actually, so...yeah. Ta-da. Right now its *looks at the clock* just past two in the morning and I have just finished writing so you may notice that the coherrency of the chapter (If thats even a word) steers off towards the end. Basically what I'm saying is this is one big epic fail. You know, in a nut shell. ANYWAY, enough with the self pity I have a few notices, a) To all of you who read and reviewed my new one shot "The Coldest of Lakes" thank you! I will be responding to them soon (Alongside the stack of Pms) but...yeah. Life. Again. b) I might dissapear for a while do to extra curric stuff, mocks, Cipher and NaNoWriMo (It's my first year, wish me luck). Also my mums literally about to pop (That's give birth by the way...not literally pop) so the next time I speak to you I may have a little brother (Whoop! Whoop!) exciting no! Also- Hey. I've just realised. If it's two in the morning that means its tuesday... DUDES MY BIRTHDAYS TOMORROW! Sorry...Just thought you should no that *bangs head of keyboard* God I'm tired. So yeah, enjoy...And please...Don't hate me :)  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

**_P.S. Okay...So its actually 10 past eight now in the evening. I've re-read the whole thing and decided to upload this after some serious discussions with Mush and Elfie. They all seem to think this is a good idea so yeah... I'm feeling a little better now!_  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

**Peeps...We're thirteen chapters in...If you haven't figured out that I'm NOT JANE AUSTEN by now, there's seriously no hope for you...at all.  
**

* * *

**Dedication:  
**

**The Winners of the LBD reference competition in the last chapter where two amazingly awesome people who leave me the most motivational, inspirational, awesometateical reviews...**

**And the winners where:  
**

Harriate Slate-Res-Hari-Agnew

sammmi-darcy

**So dudes...This chapter's for you ;D **

**DFTBA**

**Ally xxx  
**

* * *

**Special Thanks:  
**

**I'd like to thank Elfie and Mush for helping me write the original draft of this chapter that I totally discarded without your consent at last minute, you know...because I can. No, kidding aside, thanks you guys. We may have annoyed the HELL out of everyone on our lunch table but we've got a chapter right? *nudgenudge*****  
**

* * *

_Previously_**  
**

_"So you'll be there?" Collins held the pen out to me and pointed to the sign-up sheet on the back of the poster._

_"Yeah I guess…" Slowly I signed my name while still looking at Will._

_I had seen Will wear many expressions over the years: anger, happiness, joy, sorrow, guilt, regret, delight but never, in all that time, had I seen him look like this, because right now Will looks like a man with a plan…_

* * *

Creeps, Will and the Cupboard of Rules.

Why….Just Why?

I mean…How do I even get myself into these circumstances? Why can't I just have a normal teenage life?

Oh right yeah; because my names Elizabeth Bennet. My bad.

Soon I shall forever be doomed to the appalling depths of _Creep McCreepy's Chess Club…_

I can hear the screams from here…

"So how did this happen?" You may ask yourselves, or "Why did you agree?", because I know I certainly am, but anything can happen over the course of one morning to put in you in the most ridiculously annoying situations…Or _pre-_annoying situations in my case…

For example;

Some weird guy called Creeps could somehow persuade you into attending his creepy chess club (Well actually, the persuasion part had more to do with the HOT guy who was present and told me to go even though he wasn't going because he'd been kicked out by Creeps, despite the fact it was HIS club originally and- Yeah. It's confusing.)

Then, your best friend (For time's sake let's call her Charlotte) could spend the whole morning (And I mean WHOLE!) laughing at the fact that you have to spend all your lunch with Creepy McCreepy while she gets to (And I quote) "Get on down like the dogs" with The Hotster…Not nice.

And THEN- to put the icing on the cake- you could walk into Maths to find Mr Creepy Creep _bragging_ to all the guys about how he managed to kick Mr I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt out of his chess club and get _moi_ in his chess club, and when you try and _find _Mr I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt to tell him, he has disappeared. Again. With his cousin. Again. Which (Quite frankly) scares me.

So yes…All this _could_ happen, in fact all this _did _happen, and guess who too?

Oh yeah. Me.

Just another day in the office…

"YOU FOUND THEM YET!" Char yelled, as she ran up hill towards us.

"No sign of Will." Jane said, pacing the floor in front of us.

"Or Fitz for that matter." I sighed.

This is seriously getting annoying... We've been searching for the past ten minutes for them now…

And I've got to go to Creeps _oh-so-lovely-chess-club_ in like…five minutes…

Yay…

"Seriously though!" I whined "Where the fudge muffins are they!? If I don't get upstairs soon Creeps is going to have the MI5 after me in all their glory!"

"How did you even manage to _escape_ Creeps at the end of class?" Charlotte panted, as she stopped in front of us. "He was waiting at the door ready to pounce on you…or belly flop. He doesn't look like a pouncing kind of person."

"I didn't, I had to lie and say I was going to the toilets"

This club is turning out to be SO much more effort than it was worth…

Where on EARTH are Will and Fitz? The one time I need their expertise they bugger off somewhere else… Douchebags.

Maybe I could pretend I was ill and go home…

No actually. Knowing Collins he'd probably start testing me for all sorts of illnesses.

Ew….Now THERES a picture I didn't want in my head….

"And how long ago did you say that?" Hhhhmmm….Maybe I could say it was period pains. I mean, even if he does dot his I's with hearts, no guy can stand talk of period pains right?

"Around five minutes ago…Why?"

Charlotte smiled wryly at me like I was an idiot.

What's so funny…I told him I was going to the toilet. It's not like he can go looking for me-

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed, looking frantically around the banks.

I can just see him now, knocking on the toilet door asking if I was okay in there.

There are many things, as a weird girl of fifteen, I can live down.

Calling your teacher mum- Check.

Farting in the middle of assembly- Check.

Your phone going off in the middle of a maths test…When your ring tone is the Sherlock theme tune- Check.

Telling Fitz you were going to "Take him from behind" in tag rugby- Check.

Having a younger sister who goes by the name of Lydia Bennet- Check.

But Collins going to look for you in the girl's bathrooms? No… just no.

"If I were you I'd go before things get out of hand…" Char grinned.

"But I NEED to find Will and Fitz first!" Where the fish-stickles are they!?

"Why are you even looking for them?" Bingley asked, picking at the cuffs of his blazer.

"Because…"

"Because they're up to something" I cut across Char "And I want to know what."

"They're not up to anything…" He shuffled on his seat looking red and uncomfortable.

Hhhhmmmmm….Interesting.

My Sherlock instincts are picking up something unusual here…

Char gave me a look and then scooted down onto the bench next to Bing.

"Feeling okay _Bingley_…?" She waggled her eyebrows in Bingley's direction.

He nodded furiously, bright red.

He knows something. I can feel it.

I slide across the bench and sat on the opposite of Bingley to Char…

It's time for good cop bad cop.

"Yeah…" Nervously he looked at the floor and twiddled with his thumbs.

"Sure you're okay Bing?" I gave him a playful little nudge to the ribs.

I've been told I have very sharp elbows…Very sharp.

"Mmmmhhmmmm" He gulped.

"And you know nothing about Will or Fitz's where abouts…?" Char slapped Bingley on the knee and smiled sweetly at him.

I don't think I've ever seen Bingley look THIS nervous since he came to Jane's Birthday dinner and Papa interrogated him.

Can I just say- FUNNIEST THING EVER!

"Nothing at all" He squealed "Promise."

"Guys, come on…Leave Bingley alone." Jane sat on the top of the bench and ran her fingers through Bingley's hair.

God that's disgusting…

"Get a room…" I muttered, annoyed.

What happened to sister before mister dude.

"But he knows something…" Char whined "I can just see it."

"I don't know anything guys!" He squeaked, panicked "Honestly!"

Narrowing my eyes, I glared in his direction "Did I ever tell you Bingley, about that one time a boy called Matthew refused to tell me what I wanted…?"

"No…" Jane rolled her eyes while Bingley's widened to the size of saucers.

"May Matthew rest in peace" Char whispered solemnly.

Bingley loosened the collar around his neck, sweat dripping down his forehead.

Bingo Stingo.

888

"WILLIAM!" I screamed, throwing open the doors to the maths department "RICHARD! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!"

After mine and Char's 'anecdote' about the imaginary Matthew, Bingley had come clean.

He said that last time he'd seen them they were down by art but had told him if he needed them, to go up too maths. We tried to worm out what exactly they were up to but he said he didn't know…

And then Jane was all like "Ooohhh, leave Bingley alone…." So we had to like little Bingley-kins to his peace before Jane had a full scale tantrum.

She gets very protective over Bing.

It's quite scary actually…

"WILLIAM! RICHAR-" I began again before something round the corner caught my eye.

"Hello" I called "Who's there?"

A shuffling sound came from around the corner and I caught another flash of a Marvel bag and a white shirt.

Last time I checked the floor didn't carry around a Marvel bag and a white shirt.

In fact, I _pretty sure_ there is only one thing- Or should I say person- I have EVER seen carrying around a Marvel Bag in a white shirt.

Quickening my pace, I walked over to the Cipher display and looked around the corner, and there, lying on the floor with a walkie talkie was the hottest thing I've probably EVER seen.

Will.

Oh. My. God.

"Will… What are you doing?!" I hissed, aghast.

Will tried to spin around quickly but got tangled in his bag and ended up head butting the floor.

Good Lord…

"Lizzie." He gasped, scrambling to get up "I thought you were in Chess Club."

Evidently…

"No, I came to look for" _Don't say him, don't say him…Play it cool_ "Someone…"

What can I say…I'm like liquid oxygen. Science joke anyone?

"Someone…?"

I nodded and carried on looking ahead.

He straightened himself up and gestured for me to walk ahead of him. Not before, I noticed, he sent weary eyes down the hall.

We walked on in silence for a few minutes, heading towards the end of the department.

Elizabeth Bennet, what is wrong with you? You've spent the past twenty hours searching so you can talk to him and now you FINALLY HAVE HIM you chicken out…Typical.

"So…" I started "What exactly where you doing on the floor?"

"Oh about that." A small blush flowered in his cheeks (SO CUTE!) "I was just…hiding."

"Hiding?"

"Yeah…" He looked down nervously at his shoes. "Hiding."

I feel a slight role reversal here…

I mean, isn't it usually me who says something completely random and stupid, and then Will who laughs and questions me about it.

As Mary would say "-strokes imaginary beard- Interesting…"

"Why in Maths though? I mean seriously who where you hiding from?" I laughed "Creeps?"

Will's eyes widened to the size of saucers and his cheeks flamed red.

No…!

Will…

Hiding from Collins…?

No…!

"You where hiding from Collins!"

"Not exactly... It was more of a keeping out of sight from Collins..."

"But why?" What in the name of hungary hippos would posess you to 'hide' from Collins?

"Well" He squirmed from foot to foot "Bingley said you were looking for ways to get out of Chess Club and...Well, I heard what Collins said about me earlier and-"

"YOU WERE GOING TOO-" But before I managed to finish the statement, or Will managed to blush and shuffle again, Will grabbed onto my hand and yelled-

And then we were pulled into the darkness.

A door slammed beside me and a lock turned but still not light came on…

The darks kind of hurting my eyes right now…

What on Earth-

Will's hand squeezed my hand and brushed his arm against my side.

Where ever we are, it's cramped. Will was cramped against me and I'm pretty sure there's a small dark figure looming just ahead of us.

See…Now call me stupid and weird but I've imagined being locked in a dark cupboard with Will _many_ a times (Get the dirty pictures out of your head you dirty buggers…I'm TOTZ innocent.) but it never quite went like this…

"So…" A voice suddenly whispered through the…where ever we actually where "William…Richard we meet again…"

Hold on…Richard?

The voice switched on a torch illuminating the last face I thought I'd see right now.

"COLLINS!" We both screamed in chorus.

"ELIZABETH!" Collins screamed back.

Collins groped the lit up wall next to him before finding the light switch and flicking it on.

The fluorescent lights flickered on overhead revealing a small (But still rather large for a cupboard) Maths storing room.

That explains the ruler like thing digging into my back.

"Would you care to explain what's going on?" I turned to look at Will (Which was surprisingly difficult considering how close we were) who was seething from head to toe.

Well if Collins has an ounce of sense in his brain he'd get the hell out of this cupboard before Will smashes him to a pulp.

HULK DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY! HULK SAD!

But Collins being- well, Collins. Looks every bit as mad as Will…

Only not as hot or as intimidating.

And when I say _not _as hot or as intimidating I mean, he isn't intimidating or hot….Like at all.

I think I've seen scarier looking loaves of bread.

"I could ask you the same question." Collins shot back.

"Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Collins." The emerald eyes I had grown to love turned cold and raged like a storm. "Only, you're not the one who's just been DRAGGED IN A CUPBOARD!"

"I didn't drag." Collins said as if that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

Okay, now don't get me wrong, but I'm _pretty sure_ Will just growled…

AND THE HOTSTER IS BACK!

He let go of my hand and stepped forward to a cowering Creeps.

"You have five minutes" He spat "Before I call Fitz…"

"Can't fight your own fights!" Collins leered.

Let me tell you now- wrong move.

I have seen Will fight once.

Just once when this boy called me a -bad word- and said he was going to –bad words-.

And the boy is friggin' dangerous! No joke.

I shimmied closer to the door and reached for the door handle while Collins and Will reached a full scale row.

"YOU STARTED THIS NOT ME!"

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LOCKED YOU IN A CUPBOARD FOR CHRISSAKES!"

"BUT YOU WERE GOING TO GATECRASH THE CLUB, I COULD FEEL IT!"

"YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH!"

"YOU'E A MORON!"

HASHTAG BURN!

Sorry…Someone had to say it…

"WHO LOCKS PEOPLE IN A CUPBOARD?!"

"I THOUGHT LIZZIE WAS RICHARD!"

Say what now?

"AND THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER?"

"YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN THE CLUB! I FOUND YOUR PLANS!"

Will flushed and shook his fist in the air before yelling some other angry words.

Shesh…Boys get angry over the simplest of things.

If it wasn't for the fact that this was one of the most awkward situations of my life…like EVER, I might have taken the time to appreciate Will's heaving chest and strained shirt.

But right now, I'm a bit too busy trying to find a way to get the HELL OUT OF HERE!

"SHE WANTED TO BE IN MY CLUB DEAL WITH IT!" Collins continued about god knows what.

I should probably be paying attention but this door handles a sore one.

"Puurlease!"

"You're just jealous that she prefers me over you!"

Who are they talking about again?

"Over my dead body does she!"

Come on door come on!

"Just accept it Will…apart from money you've got nothing going for you."

"HOW DARE YOU!"

And then the shouting started again.

I tried clicking my fingers, waving my arms but they were too engrossed in their shouting match to notice.

"Guys…" I shouted.

"Guys!"

"GUYS!"

Still they shouted at each other, bright red in the face.

Right. Time for drastic measures.

"GUYS IMA LESBIAN!"

Will and Collins froze on the spot and then spun around to face me.

"Great…Now that I've got your attention I have a little problem."

"You're a lesbian?" Collins whispered, dejected.

"Collins…I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"What's the problem?" Will rushed, concern etched across his features.

"Well….It's kind of a long story."

Both of their brows knitted together and then shot into the air when I held up my hand.

Because there in my hand lay the door knob.

There in my hand lead our only means of escape.

Schnoodle.

* * *

**Author's Note (Again..What you gunna do?):**

**Right, I want honest opinions...how bad. If it's bad I can take it down and re-write it (I'm seriously tempted) I just...GAH! I like the _writing_ of the first half but not the plot but then I like the _plot_ in the second half but not the writing and GAHAGAHAGAHAGHAGAHAGHAGAHAGH AGAH! LORDY LORDY LORD! The next chapter should be better...I'm just pretty stressed right now. I think I could potentially have two exams/tests on my birthday too (Which sucks). But on the bright side of life, I got asked last week or so for my author's permission to have my 'work' put up on the Official Jane Austen FanFiction Index! #Soproud. None of that would have been possible wihtout you so THANK YOU ALL! Darcy hugs for everyone and virtual bacon! Please review and tell me what you thought. Feeling pretty crappy right now so they'd be welcome...Perhaps they could be a Birthday present...? Also, if anyone has Tumblr follow me and my friends (If you want too...) at wearemutualweirdnessDOTtumbl rDOTcom. I mostly reblog stuff but I do blog about my boring life if anyone gives a damn. Also friend me on IGGY (If anyone has it), Nerdfighter ning and NaNoWriMo (If you can) my names JhaniiAllii on all of them, it'd be great to talk to some of you- nay- ALL OF YOU! Thanks for reading as always...Your reviews from the last chapter very nearly made me cry tears of joy...So beautiful. *getting all sentimental like Adler*  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

**P.S. To any LBD fans- OHEMGEE! Darcy soon! Hang in their girls! And did you see Richard in the preview? #fangirlingtothemax... My school needs Wi-Fi ASAP. I can not wait till I get home to watch it.  
**


	14. The Tale of Three Cannibals

**Author's Note:**

** So...You know how I always write REALLY LONG A/N...? Yeah, well I bet Mush that I could write a short one so...Here we go. Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for the Birthday messages (Much appreciated). Secondly- Oh sugar. This is getting long. Err...Better wrap this up. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAP BUT DIDN'T LOG IN SO I COULDN'T REPLY! LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS! KEEP READING, IT GETS BETTER...KIND OF...NOT REALLY...  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.S. I don't know why I did that in caps...It just made it bigger you bloody nonny *hits head*.  
**

**P.P.S. I will be replying to reviews for Ignorance is Bliss ASAP and PMs...Sorry I'm taking so long x  
**

**P.P.P.S. That wasn't long at all was it... It really wasn't.****  
**

* * *

**Disclaimer:  
**

** You're kidding right? Read my lips, I AM NOT JANE AUSTEN! Promise... :D****  
**

* * *

**Dedication:  
**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to a number of people because they are totally awesome and fantastical. (If you wish not to read just go ahead and skip over to the story...I won't be offended *sniffs*)  
**

**tinydisk- You have helped and guided me when I needed it most. Without you this whole story probably would have crashed and burned ;)  
**

**MusicalBeauty- You have inspired me (Unintentionally) to write so many chapters its hilarious! And you're so awesome it's off the scale. Much love :D  
**

**justlovefanfiction2901- You have been rooting for me since the very beginning of this story and your always there with a sack full of ideas when my brain juice runs short. I'm forever indebted.  
**

** -lena- You are honestly TOO sweet to me and I have never had the pleasure of talking to such an awesomely talented potterhead as yourself! If I ever need a HP reference, I know where to go ;)  
**

**Charlie's Hazardous Relapse- Where do I begin you crazy ball of fantasticalness? Where do I begin...  
**

**There are many more I would like to say thank you too but that shall have to wait till the next Chapter!  
**

**Hope you enjoy,  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

* * *

****_Previously_

_Both of their brows knitted together and then shot into the air when I held up my hand._

_Because there in my hand lay the door knob._

_There in my hand lead our only means of escape._

_Schnoodle._

* * *

The Tale of Three Cannibals. 

"68 bottles of pop on the wall" Collins crooned, swinging his legs "68 bottles of pooooooooooooooooop-

"Take one down, pass it around….67 bottles of pop on the wall…."

Pause. Breathe. Stay calm.

"There were 67 bottles of pop on the wall. 67 bottles of pooooooooooooooop-

"Take one down, pass it around….66 bottles of pop on the wall…."

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

"There were 66 bottles of pop on the wall. 66 bottles of pooooooooooooooop-

"Take one down, pass it around….65 bottles of pop on the-"

"SHUT UP!" Me and Will both screamed at the same time, chests heaving.

Silence rolled across the- well cupboard. FINALLY.

We've been in this cupboard for the past I-don't-know-how-long (Possibly thirty minutes) and the kid HAS NOT SHUT UP!

OH LORD!

I swear to the big cheesesus, I am going to get a machine gun and fire down _every_ single bloody bottle on that frickin' wall and then we'll see how many bottles are left to count!

Can you tell I'm cranky…?

I'm cranky.

You'd think being locked in a cupboard with WILL (And Collins…but let's ignore him for a sec) would be GREAT but alas, it has been quite the opposite.

After the whole door-knob-in-my-hand moment, they both stopped screaming at each other and threw themselves into trying to break down the door. Literally…

No, seriously. They literally threw themselves at the door.

At least Collins did…

He went for the whole Octopus test (Throwing yourself at a wall to see if you stick and are, therefore, an octopus) approach to things and nearly knocked himself out cold.

Will tried to build some big ass contraption to slide under the door to alert people something was going on inside after he failed to pick the lock.

And I, well, I just screamed…and shouted…and screamed a little more until we eventually sunk to the floor and wallowed in our self-pity.

Which is what we're currently doing now.

Will's sitting with his back against a shelf, knees drawn to his chest, throwing a sphere at the wall in front of him and then catching it.

Collins is sitting on top of a desk swinging his legs, and I'm lying down in front of the door, wishing to be sent to my happy place.

Yet my happy place has failed to arrive.

I at least thought Will would _talk_ to me instead of just throwing random looks at me and then looking away quickly.

I mean, HELLO! We are ALONE (Minus Collins) in a cupboard and _now_ he thinks it's time to practice his hand eye co-ordination skills!?

Don't get me wrong, I'm no Caroline. I'm not saying he needs to throw himself at me but c'mon peeps. A little acknowledgment would be nice.

I don't even care if he is still cheesed off with Collins and therefore has decided to be a moody douche and block the world out, at least talk to ME!

It's so unlike Will to be moody…I don't like it.

I kind of want to jump over and hug him- In a completely platonic way before you start…

Ish…

Kind of…

I mean if he offered…

SHESH GUYS STOP BUGGING ME!

Will caught the ball/sphere in one hand and turned slowly to look in my direction.

"I don't suppose you've got your phone on you?" He sighed, avoiding my gaze.

Did I do something?

Do I smell?

Is there a bogey hanging from my nose or something?

WHY WILT THOU NOT LOOKUS AT ME!?

"Left it in my bag." I answered, sitting up and shaking out my hair.

My back hurts from all the stress and trauma of this situation.

I'm going to need counselling after this.

"So you've got no way to contact anyone?"

"If I did I would have told you half an hour ago when we first discovered this problem."

Although I'm having the absolute time of my life, there are WAY better things I could have done with my time…

Then again, this can't be much worse than chess club.

Wow…The panic of going to chess club seems like years ago…

I wonder how things would have spanned out if Collins had never revealed himself and just locked me and Will away like planned…

No. Bad Lizzie, BAD LIZZIE!

"Actually" Collins interjected, "We didn't discover the problem thirty minutes ago, you _caused _ the problem thirty minutes ago…There's a difference."

"You can hardly blame Elle when you're the one who bloody locked us in here!" Will shot back, face growing red.

Hehe… As much as I hate it when he's angry, it doesn't half get my heart a fluttering when he calls me Elle….

God. "Heart a fluttering"…

Someone's spending too much time with Mum.

"I'm not blaming anyone" Collins dismissed with a wave of his hand "But if we are all to die of starvation, the fault probably would lie with Lizzie (If anyone were to be blamed) as I didn't technically _ lock_ you in here, I attempted to lock you in here. Lizzie's the one who broke the door handle not-"

"Hold up." I said suddenly, Collins words dawning on me. "We could _starve_ in here!"

Oh. My. God.

"No, of course we couldn't." Will answered quickly. "Somebody would find us before then."

"Well…That's not definite since we have been here quite a while and nobody has even sought to find us yet. Really we could be in here for days undiscovered…"

Collins's voice washed over me like a stormy wave, whipping me back and forth in its tempestuous waves.

A fear inside of me prickled…a fear I never really confided with anyone.

I'm going to die.

Will's going to die.

We're ALL GOING TO DIE!

And in a cupboard.

IN A FLIPPING CUPBOARD.

When I die, I've always wanted to be remembered for something good...You know, like, for winning a Nobel prize, or making someone's life better in some way, not as the slaggy teenage girl who locked herself in a cupboard with TWO GUYS!

At least mother will be proud.

I can't die…Not now. Not here.

I mean…

I'll never know how Sherlock survived.

I'll never know if the world really did end on the 21st of December.

I'll never know how many Big Macs Mary could consecutively eat without throwing up.

I'll never know if Lydia wore so much make-up you could grate her face without touching skin.

But worst of all…

I'LL NEVER KNOW IF WILL-

If he…

If we…

OH LORD!

And then the last and final string of my sanity snapped. My breath started to quicken and my palms went all sweaty, just like last weekend at Will's house.

The stress of, well, everything just broke me and I could feel the spasms running up and down my nerves.

And they say I take after my father…

Okay…Think.

What do you do when you're having a panic attack…?

Err….

P.A.N.I.C.

"Elle?" Will cut across Collins, my name laced with worry "Lizzie? Elizabeth?"

As my vision blurred but I could just about see him jump up and run forward to kneel before me.

I felt the large, rough yet soft hands take hold of mine, and I saw the emerald green sparkle with concern through the hazy fog that was now my thoughts.

Thumbs rubbed small circles on the back of my hands as Will's words tumbled from his mouth.

"Lizzie are you okay? What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong? I can help! Lizzie-"

"WE'RE GUNNA DIE IN HERE!" I wailed, like the crazy demented woman I am.

Did I ever tell you I have a serious fear of lifts?

Yeah. This is why.

I can't explain _why_ I have this fear of being trapped in small spaces but I do and, until now, I hadn't actually realised I was _in_ such a small place. If that makes sense?

My mind had been on other things…A LOT of other things.

"Elizabeth" He whispered, half amused, half freaked out (What can I say? I have that effect on people) "We're _not_ going to die in here. How could we possibly die in here?"

Word of advice. When someone is having a panic attack, in a cupboard, thinking they're going to die, the WORST POSSIBLE QUESTION you could ask them is "How?.

Within seconds my mind listed every possible worst case scenario that could happen. It was like I mentally risk-assessed the whole damn place.

"IT COULD CAVE IN!"

"Not possible." Came Will's came reply.

"WE COULD RUN OUT OF AIR!"

"Not possible." He repeated.

"WE COULD **STARVE**!"

"If it's any consolation" Collins interrupted (Again.) "We'd probably die of thirst before we did hunger."

OH. _GOD_.

"Collins!" Will yelled over my gasping/screaming (There wasn't really much air in my body to scream _with_) "Not helping!"

Oh lord! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!

This is all Collins's fault. I always said he'd be the death of me!

"It's really fine Lizzie." Collins attempted again, in a softer voice (that made me want to throw up all my insides) "If worse comes to the worst" He reached inside of his pocket and pulled out a pink, frilly bag "I've got homemade Bon Bons."

In any other situation there would have been a lot of things I would have wanted to ask after that statement. Like 1. Why the hell would a boy carry around Bon Bon's which are 2. Homemade, which is weird since 3. I didn't even realise you could make homemade bonbons.

But it wasn't any other situation, so I didn't.

"AND WHEN WE RUN OUT OF BONBONS!?" I screeched.

"Simple." Will's lips twitched at the corners slightly "We'll eat Collins."

"WHAT!?" Collins scrambled forward so he was a few metres away from Will. "No way! I mean…I'm _way_ too skinny." He pinched his thigh and wiggled his arms. "There's practically no meat on me."

Well, the idea of eating Collins calmed me down a little bit. I think I'd _rather_ die than eat Collins.

"Fine." Will sighed, dramatically. "You can eat me."

And now it's my turn to scream "WHAT!?"

"Will don't be stupid! I can't EAT YOU!"

"Why not?" He asked, offended.

"Because- I just- NO!"

"It'd be easy. Just get the tetrahedron from over there, stab it through my heart and there we go. Dinner is served."

That is actually sick on so many levels. I couldn't-

I couldn't KILL William!

Again, I'd rather die, than kill him.

Those piercing green eyes caused my heart to race for completely different reasons, and the warmth of his hands nearly stopped me breathing all together.

Well. If I ever suffer an anxiety attack again, I know who to go to…

"Will." I weaved my fingers through his and stared into his eyes. "No."

"So you'd rather us both die? You'd rather lose both of our futures." He whispered, leaning in closer.

This isn't about starving in a cupboard anymore, is it?

This is something else entirely.

"Why couldn't you eat me?" I challenged "And then you live on happily ever after?"

He laughed slightly and rose an eyebrow "How could I live happily ever after knowing the only reason I was living is because you were dead…Seems like a pretty bum future to me."

Collins, the cupboard, the panic, the metre ruler stabbing me in my back all faded away leaving only me and Will with our theoretical game that had deeper meanings than either of us were willing to admit.

"But yet it'd be okay for me to live like that?" He couldn't be serious.

Surely, by now, he can at least understand that he means a lot to me.

Maybe he'll never know exactly _how_ much, but still.

"But it'd be different."

"How so…?"

He paused and looked up for a second, in deep thought.

"Because…" He started hesitantly "Because at least you'd have known I'd died a happy man."

Died a happy man? What?

I couldn't even try to hold back the bubble of laughter that sprung from my lips.

"Why on Earth would you have died "A happy man"?" I asked, smiling.

"Well." He leaned in even closer, so close, in fact, I could feel his breath against my skin "If I couldn't die protecting you like I should, I could at least die knowing that, in some way, I'd made it easier for you to survive. The world would truly be a boring place without you Elizabeth."

The way his voice caressed my name near enough made my heart stop.

I'm intoxicated by the green in his eyes.

Drunk on the moment.

So drunk in fact, I moved forward without even thinking through the consequences.

So drunk, that I didn't see Collins jump out from know where, aiming for Will.

"Lizzie if I die you can eat my _bwayn_." Collins rushed, pushing Will to the ground and grabbing my hands in his place.

What the-

You cannot be-

OH _C'MON_!

Are you actually kidding me?

Is someone going to jump out in a second screaming "You've been punk'd!"

I was-

We were-

WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT!

I stared, dumbfound, at a grinning Collins.

My mouth was hanging open and my eyebrows were raised so high they disappeared under my fringe… (At least one of them did.)

Right. That's it.

My life's a prank isn't it?

Someone up there has cameras and is watching my life like you would Eastenders.

This crap just doesn't happen normally.

It just doesn't happen.

"Collins I'm not eating your brain." I said, still shocked "That's disgusting."

Collins just waggled his eyebrows and smirked.

Excuse me while I heave.

"Disgusting it maybe but don't worry babe…I'll be your saviour."

Err…

Yup. I think I'm going to be sick.

Will sat up; looking slightly dazed, and rubbed his head.

"Don't be stupid Collins…you can't promise her something you don't have."

HASHTAG BURN! (Again.) !

Collins dropped my hands and turned to look at Will.

"You know what William!?" He spat "I don't know what your problem is?"

"Oh I do…" Will replied smirking. "It's clearly you."

"Why you little-"

But before Collins could finish, a weird noise filled the storage cupboard, coming from Collins's discarded blazer.

"What on earth is that…?" I asked, squinting my eyes.

"Oh…"Collins stood up and looked around. "Bear with."

Did he just _bear with_ me?!

Is he for real?

Is he for cereal?

He walked over to his blazer and pulled out this little black brick thing that lit up when he touched it.

Will looked at me, brows knitted together, echoing my face of confusion.

Why the hell was he carrying a black light up brick?

"Hey Will." Collins called over. "I don't suppose you know anything about Fitz trying to climb through the vent with a box full of stink bombs next to the classroom running chess club do you."

Will looked around quickly and blushed.

"Pft. No…"

So that's what he was up to…Stink bombs?

How original.

Such a beautiful liar.

"How do you know about that anyway?" He asked. "Not that I had _anything _to do with it."

Yeah right.

And Voldermort's secretly the tooth fairy.

"Anne's taken over the club for me so I asked how it was going and she said" Collins held up thhe black brick to his eyes and squinted as he read something aloud. "_"Fine. Everyone's having loads of fun only we found Fitz next to the classroom stuck in a vent weighed down with Stink bombs. Somehow he managed to wriggle himself out before we could catch him."_ That's a shame. I would have loved to have seen his face when-"

"Wait." Will shouted over Collins, standing up "How did you contact Anne?"

Collins gave me a look to say #is-this-guy-serious?

But then it dawned on me. How _did_ Collins contact Anne?

"On my phone…" He replied slowly holding up the black brick.

His phone...

HIS PHONE!

HE HAS A FRICKIN PHONE!?

No frickin' way.

WHAT THE SCHNOODLE POP!?

"I text Anne to say I wouldn't be able to make it, due to reasons too long to state, and if she'd be able to run the chess club for a week in my place. She was kind enough to agree so-"

But this time I stood up and interrupted Collins.

"You're telling me all this time you've had a phone." Oh…If I was angry before, it's NOTHING compared to what I'm feeling now.

"Well yeah…" Collins answered, at length.

"And you text Anne." Will continued "not to ask her if she could get us out of this damn cupboard, but if she could TAKE OVER YOUR FLIPPING CHESS CLUB!?"

It was like Collins finally realised where he had gone wrong. His eyes doubled their size as he watched Will walk towards him, like a predator would to its prey.

"Nobody asked me if I had a phone…" He whispered, back now pressed against the door.

And the dumbness of Collins reached a new level.

As Shakespeare would say "Thou art a retarded dinosaur".

"You are going to get on that phone now." I said in my scariest voice (Which was pretty goddamn terrifying) "And tell Anne to come and get us out of here NOW!"

"I wish I could Lizzie, I really do, but…That was my last ten pence of credit."

"When did you even text her!" I asked, incredulous.

"When you were having your little anxiety attack." He replied in a small voice.

So while I was screaming thinking I was going to die locked in a cupboard, he was texting Anne about his chess club.

Will looked at him, eyes flashing with anger, chest heaving.

Forty minutes we've been in here. And he could have got us out ages ago.

"Right Collins." He pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself down.

Wow. I forgot how much of a temper Will's got.

It's bloody worse than mine.

"You have three seconds to hide until I find you and skin you."

As serious as this situation was, I couldn't help but laugh at the reference.

"ONE."

"But" Collins dithered on the spot, eyes darting around the cupboard "There's nowhere to hide!"

"TWO."

"I would have told her but it slipped my mind!"

"THREE."

"AAAaaaaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhhHHHHHH HHhhhhhhh!"

Collins skidded under Will's legs and ran past me to the other end of the cupboard. Though, in his panic, I think he forgot how tall Will was, and how much longer his strides were. Within seconds he was on Collins tail chasing him in a circle around the cupboard.

And me? Well I just stood in the middle and watched.

All I need now is some popcorn.

"I'm sorry Will, I'm sorry." He screamed, throwing himself under a table as Will leapt over it. "I'M SORRY!"

"SHE WAS HAVING AN ATTACK AND YOU COULD HAVE HELPED BUT NO! INSTEAD YOU PLAYED THE MORON!" he roared, grabbing at Collins's jumper.

"LIZZIE!" Collins screamed "HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

Oh yes Collins, I am fully aware of that.

Entertaining, no? It's like the ultimate game of cat and mouse.

Will was just millimetres away from a crapping himself Collins when he dived under yet another table and stayed there.

Will lifted up the table, as Collins sprinted out, straight in my direction.

Oh god. Oh no.

I spun around to protect myself, but boy. Was that the wrong decision.

Before I could even say "Fudgestickles" Collins was on my back spinning me around.

"COLLINS GET OFF ME!" I screamed, swatting my head but getting handfuls of hair.

"Save me lizzie, save me!" he whined, clinging on tighter.

The weight of his body on my back sent us hurtling forwards, my head just missing the turned over desk in front of us by a fraction.

I lay face palming the floor trying (And failing) to get Collins off my back, as he clung to me like a monkey.

Now. Being locked in this cupboard has thrown me into the line of fear many times.

Like the fear that maybe Will didn't like me.

Then the fear that I was probably going to die in here.

Then the fear that Will looked like he was about to turn into the Hulk.

And then when Collins jumped on my back.

But none of this, no…none of this, could have prepared me for the wave of fear that washed over me as Collins screamed "TAKE HER, NOT ME!" and rolled around so I was lying on top of him like a shield.

But that, my dear friends, was not the scary part (Dear God no.). The scary part was seeing a furious Will diving to the ground where I lay, not realising that I was not in fact Collins and, therefore, not the person he wants to kill.

Oh god. Please save me.

Don't let Will kill me.

I tried to raise me arms in front of my face for protection but Collins (Being the selfish douchebag he is) has weaved his legs and arms through mine, practically pinning him to me.

If I don't die right here, right now, _I_ am going to find Collins and skin him.

Will looked down mid dive and stopped his battle cry as he saw me (Not Collins) screaming underneath him. He kind of tried to stop half dive but, as they say, gravity is a bi-ach.

"LIZZIE!?" Will yelled, falling towards me.

"WILL!" I screamed, begging him to stop.

"COLLINS!" Collins screeched underneath me for no particular reason. (God he's such a moron.)

As Will got closer he locked his arms and legs in front making him look like he was doing some funky knee drop on a trampoline.

And he got closer…

And closer…

And closer…

Until.

He stopped. Just like that. Stopped.

His body was practically lying on mine yet we hadn't hit. Am I dreaming.

Is this heaven?

Then again, Will is lying on top of me…

STOP IT LIZZIE!

I looked to the side (Without turning my head) and saw Wills arms either side of my head and felt his legs either side of my hips.

Well…if this isn't awkward.

"Hi." He breathed, face nearly pressed against mine.

"Hi." I whispered.

"Hi." He said again, blushing.

"Hi." Breath in through the nose, and out throught the mouth.

"Hey." Collins croaked, STILL underneath me.

Ergh! I can feel his hot, wet breath against my neck.

Great, now I'm going to have to bleach my neck as well as the rest of my back.

"Shut up Collins." Me and Will sighed in chorus.

His body felt warm on top of mine and I couldn't stop my heart from racing.

I'd never seen him this close up and- trust me- I was taking the time to appreciate it.

His cheeks held a tint of red, his skin as smooth as…

I don't know. I suck at similes.

His curls brushed across my forehead confirming they're as soft as I always thought.

"I should probably get up, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah…" I answered reluctantly.

"I second that." Collins gasped.

"Shut up Collins." We muttered as he wriggled underneath us.

I suppose it must be quite uncomfortable down there…

Tough titties. He put himself down there.

Will looked around for a way to get up and, for the first time, I couldn't help but be thankful we were locked in this damn cupboard.

I mean, thank god no one can see us right now, coz _that_ would be awkward.

Collins arms and legs wrapped around mine, pinning me down as Will was on his hands and knees over me…?

That would look slightly messed up to someone who didn't understand how we exactly got here… In fact it would still looked pretty messed up to someone who did know how we got here. Let's face it, no matter how much we sweeten this up, it's pretty- no- VERY messed up.

A Lizzie sandwich is a big BIG no-no.

At least one good thing came out of this situ-

Suddenly we were sprayed with bright rays of light left looking like deer in headlights.

What the-

The door banged open and smacked off the shelf behind it revealing Fitz standing tall in the doorway with Bingley, Jane, Charlotte and Gee behind him.

_Oh God._

Oh God.

OH GOD!

To say Fitz and Co. looked horrified would be the understatement of century.

Will looked at me, eyes dancing while his cheeks burned even brighter. Collins squirmed under me and I just stared at the crowd not quite believing my eyes.

Out of the whole forty/fifty minutes we've been in here, THIS is when they find us? Lying on top of each other in the middle of the room?

Who am I kidding? Of course they'd find us now...My life's a prank remember?

"What the actual fudge on a stick?" Fitz mused, looking at our entangled bodies, lying in the dark.

Will cleared his throat and tried his best to put on a calm voice.

"This isn't what it looks like."

Fitz's mouth just dropped another metre to the ground.

Well…By the looks of things I might be challenging Caroline for her title.

Oh. Dear. God.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

** REVIEW PLEASE!? Tell me what you think! Again, this is going to be a short one so 2 notices. Firstly, yes, YES I know...I quit NaNoWriMo. In my defence, I only had time to do either FanFic or NaNo and being the sweetie I am I chose you guys (You deserve it!) and once I get out of the flow of writing something I find it difficult to pick it back up and I didn't want this story to crash and burn. Secondly, I might disappear slightly over December as, for Christmas, I will be writing a different story as a present for Mush. More details later...Anyway, bye for now and please review! Let's see if we can get it too 200. 200th Review= dedication...? *flutters eyelashes*  
**

**Ally xxx  
**

**P.S. DAMNINATION! Why am I incapable of writing short A/Ns?  
**

**P.S.S. LBD fans...Caroline's Back?! WTAFOAS?****  
**


	15. And the Fun Begins

**Author's Note:**

**Hmpf. This has been sitting on FanFic waiting for the A/N for the past two days. That's shameful...so shameful. just going to do quick messages because it's just gone four am, I'm tired, ratty and my leg hurts. (Sorry dudes) 1. MERRY (Belated) CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! or UNIVERSAL SEASON GREETINGS! 2. Reviews. I apologise for not responding to nearly any of the reviews from the last chapter but life has been hectic. I've had mocks, case studies and god knows what else. I have read each one I promise and was going to reply to them just but, since they were posted nearly a month ago, I thought it'd be a bit rude. So let me give you a blanket thank you and a promise I will get through all the next reviews! I mean, over 200. Wow! You guys amaze me! 3. On Christmas break. Updates should be fairly quicker. I'm expecting another one in the next few days so, yeah. 4. I have started planning the end of the story (More on that later) so I would predict no more than six chapters left. Do not fear, all will become clear (I am too tired to even laugh or make a sarcy comment about that rhyming. One way trip to self pity ville down here :/)  
**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
**

**Ally xxx****  
**

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**Dedication:  
**

**Can I do it next Chapter...Please? Thanks guys.  
**

**I know, I dedicate this to ANYONE who reviewed the last chapter...or /any/ chapter. Thanks you guys. This wouldn't have been possible without you.****  
**

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_Previously_**  
**

___Something happened. _

_I think Lizzie got found in a cupboard under Will or something._

_That sounds dirty. Oh so very dirty._

_Go read it yourself you lazy muggle. _

_I am not opening up ANOTHER word document just to copy and paste this over._

_What do you think I am. _

_I'll tell you who I am. Not the person who is willing to open up another Word Document. Understand?_

_Can you tell I get cranky when I have no sleep._

_You're not even reading this anymore are you. Pft, roll the film. _

* * *

And the Fun Begins…

The table lay, lined up with every vegetable known to man fried and drizzled in honey. Racks of meat crackled on plates and bowls of fluffy, buttery mashed potatoes stretched out as far as the eye could see…

Me, Mary, Jane, Kiki, Lydia and Papa sat staring at the TV advert begging the food on its screen to be the food we could smell wafting in from the kitchen.

M&S always made it look so easy. They were so goddamn cocky about their cooking…

So cocky in fact they even made Matthew Macfadyen voice over the damn advert, just demanding we all drool over the hotness of the…err…food (Always the food.)

"_This is not just food…This is M and S food…" _We all sat in a line staring at the TV with our lustful eyes, blocking out the smoke alarm in the background signalling dinner was done.

"DINNNEEERRRR!" Mama shouted, popping her head around the door. "Come on! I didn't spend _all_ day slaving away on this so you could sit like gormless idiots."

"She's right." Papa muttered "That's her job."

He pulled himself up of his chair and started towards the dining room. Before he had even made two steps Mama was on him holding a wooden spoon to his neck menacingly like a sword.

"I heard that." She hissed, narrowing her eyes. "Now get you better run to that bloody table before you make me do something I forget."

Mum and Dad stood staring each other out while Mary stood on the chair behind them mouthed shouting "KIN-KAY!" and then pretend to whip a whip with added sound effects.

Reason number one why you don't let your sister watch Celebrity Juice or A Scandal in Belgravia.

I mean that is just disgusting… I swear to god there is something seriously wrong with child. Why would you even imagine-

EERRRGGGH! EW!

Dad arched an eyebrow in Mary's direction before he reached down and planted a small kiss on Mum's blushing face causing an eruption of groans and screams from around the lounge.

"GET A ROOM!" Lydia screamed, jumping over the settee and running into the Dining room.

Papa, seeing the lovely reaction he got, grabbed mum and full on (I am NOT even joking.) pretended to snog her.

There should be laws against this kind of crap.

"ERMAHGOD!" Kiki screeched, running out of the room, closely followed by Jane.

"DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK! DON'T LOOK!" Mary yelled, James Bonding it over every piece of furniture in the room. She was so busy pointing at mum and dad, raving about how disgusting they were, she didn't see that the direction she was heading was actually the wall next to the door frame, not the door itself. Mary ran smack bang into the wall and bounced straight off, flying backwards.

Papa put mum back on the floor and stared at Mary who was rolling around the floor groaning, clutching her arm.

Whatever you do Lizzie, DON'T LAUGH.

She is your sister and she is hurt, be nice.

Be nice Lizzie, be nice.

"HAAAAAAAA!" I snorted falling to the floor, screaming with laughter. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I beat the floor with my fists gasping for breath. "Oh my god, I can't breathe" I gasped "I can't breathe."

Jane, Kiki and Lydia ran back into the room to see me and Dad rolling around the floor laughing and Mum poking Mary (Who was still also rolling around the floor complaining she was about to die) with the wooden spoon telling her to get up.

"MY ARM!" She wailed "MY ARM!" which seemed to be hanging on a slightly different angle than it was moments before.

Lydia pulled out her phone and started filming.

"Internet" She mumbled, recording "This is going _all_ over you."

Kitty tried stole Mum's wooden spoon and started beating Mary with it, giggling.

Jane tried to pull Mary up but somehow ended up on the floor to.

Mum whined about her 'spoiled' dinner and then started throwing oven gloves around the room in anger while me and dad clutched on to each other, tried to get up, and then collapsed back onto the floor in heaps of laughter.

So this, my dear friends, is how I find myself in the Monster Truck (Or people carrier as most normal people call it) cruising down the fast lane, on the way to 'Main Lions' hospital.

Oh the joys…

"GANGNAM STYLE!" Lydia sung at the top of her voice while Mary placed her left hand over her mouth and made noises that sounded like warped bubbles.

"Wup, wup wup wup." Her and Kitty chorused.

"OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!"

"HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY SEXAY LADAY!" Lydia threw her head around a bit and attempted to (And I quote) 'whip her hair back and forth'.

(Can I just point out that she was actually whipping her hair side to side? I did highlight this but Kitty said it's not quite as catchy if you sing "I whip my hair side to side." I suggested "I whip my hair east to west." But they just didn't get it… I'm wasted on these people.)

Kiki- who was sitting next to Lydia- received a mouthful of hair as Mary did a one armed funky chicken dance and continued her bubble noises.

"Wup wup wup wup."

"OPPA GANGNAM-"

"FOR THE SWEET LOVE OF ARISTOTLE, SHUT UP!" Dad yelled, yanking the steering wheel and swerving into the next lane.

Am I the only one who now wants to break out into Horrible Histories and start singing the Thinkers? No…Nobody…?

Sucks to be you then… Excellent song.

The car fell silent for a few seconds before Mum piped up and attempted to start (What she thought) was an 'intellectual car conversation'.

"I was watching this programme the other day about Elephants and, did you know, Mice sperm is actually bigger than elephant sperm?" She said, turning around in her seat to face the rest of us.

We all stared back at her dumbfounded. Sometimes this woman really does surprise me.

As some-old-guy-everyone-remembers-as-being-an-iconic-figure-of-history would say "THE WOMAN DOTH SPEAKUS THE TRUTH!"

Or something like that…

Papa looked at Mother just waiting for her to say something else. She smiled blankly and blew a piece of hair out of her face.

If Ignorance is truly bliss, she must be the happiest woman alive. No joke.

"Erm…" Dad said, shaking his head in disbelief "How was your guy's day then today?" He asked, still trying to wrap his head around what mama had just said.

Jane turned to me and grinned, that damn smug look in her eyes.

I know what she's thinking…She's thinking about the cupboard isn't she? Damn child can't get over the cupboard.

I have had to explain myself TOO many times today to then be made to sit, in the very back of my father's car, and explain myself to Queen of Drama Crackers (My mother) and King of I-am-not-Amused (My father). That is just not happening.

Read my lips; _not happening_.

"My day was great Papa." Jane smiled, still staring at me "I learnt a lot of interesting things today."

She giggled, blushed and then looked out of the window.

I bet you five midget gems that girl snogged Bingley left, right and centre during some course of the day.

Pft. Trying to make me out to be the one doing dirty business with the boys.

I ASK YOU!

I bet she's got up to at least 6 on the snogging scale.

Hhmmmm… I wonder how far actually she has made it on the snogging scale.

Note to Self: Quiz Jane about the snogging scale this evening. Don't let her throw you off with questions about Will… Perseverance is KEY!

I wonder if she's ear snogged (I've always wondered how that works). I bet she has… Bingley's _always_ got red ears…

ERGH! I can never look at them the same way again!

This children, is why you should NEVER (And I mean _never_) read Georgia Nicolson Diaries under the table in class.

It will corrupt your mind and kill your brain cells…Honest to god.

Oh but I love them so much! No Lizzie…Stop it…STOP.

"I had a pretty awesome day to." Mary grinned.

"And me!" Kitty added.

"Me too." Lydia said, with more enthusiasm I'm used to.

My spidery senses are telling me something not quite right is going on here…

All three of them turned around in their seats and gave me a knowing smile.

"How was your day Lizzie?" Lydia asked in a sickly sweet voice.

Jane carried on looking out of the window but I could see her shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Get up to anything good?" Kitty inquired.

"Anything you want to get out of the CUPBOARD." Mary smirked.

Oh. My. God.

Tears fell onto the car seat as Jane tried (And failed) to suppress her laughter.

She told them didn't she?

Oh, what an Anderson!

All three of them grinned and turned back, but not before Mary added in a whisper.

"Laughing at me where you bitch…? Get the gun out of the fridge because revenge is a dish best served cold."

Oh grapes.

"So Lizzie" Mary began, casually "How was chess club? Word on the street was that you were joining Collins' chess club."

"Chess Club? Really?" Papa exclaimed, falling for Mary's ploy. "That's excellent, how was it."

Right Lizzie, if there was ever a time we needed your totes amazing lying skills, it's now.

LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH SISTER!

"Fine." I squeaked, my voice rising several octaves higher.

"Really?" Kitty inquired. "Was it really fine Lizzie?"

"Mmmhhhmmm…." I hummed, not trusting my speech.

"I mean, it's not like your lying and really you didn't go to chess club at all because you were inside a cupboard making a Lizzie sandwich with two other guys from your year and having a saucy session. That most DEFINITELY did not happen." Lydia said with mock seriousness, texting on her phone.

"And it's not like you were all found lying one on top of the other with blazers, and whatnot, lying discarded all across the floor… That also most definitely did not happen." Kitty smirked.

"I mean seriously? Lizzie hanging out with two guys when she could be in chess club? Fat chance!" Mary leant forward, closer to Dad, and added in a mock whisper "I bet you she's really a lesbian that's too scared to come out. She enjoys it in the cupboard too much."

Dad slammed his foot down on the breaks sending us all flying forward.

"WHAT!" He screamed over my dear darling sisters' laughter. "YOU WHAT!"

I can honestly say in all my life, I have never seen my Dad look so angry (Not even when Lydia put one of her heels through his rare edition of Hamlet. How you even put a heel through Hamlet is beyond me but…Clearly, it was NOT TO BE! HA! Oh… I exhaust myself. Sometimes my amusingness surprises me too.) or mum looked so pleased…

Well this can only go well-

888

"It was horrible!" I cried, dropping my books down onto our form table before collapsing into my chair. "Honestly one of the WORST car rides, _ever_."

"Even worse than the one to Bletchley, when Richard did that REALLY eggy fart but we couldn't pull down the windows because of the wind but the sun kept on heating up the car and making it worse?" Charlotte asked, painting her nails with highlighters.

"Even worse than THAT!" I pulled out my equipment and lined it up against the edge of my desk.

Another day at school…Whoopee.

Our tutor shuffled into the class, ten minutes late, clutching a cup of coffee like his life depended on it. By the look on his face, it really did.

"Mum said his wife's kicked him out again." Charlotte whispered to me and Jane (Bing was out do-gooding for the school or something). "He had nowhere to go so he walked down to the pub, got totally wasted and then slept on the park bench outside."

The three of us tilted are heads slightly and sighed as we watched him break down into hysterical sobs on his desk.

"It's a shame isn't it?" Jane cooed, her pale blue eyes watering.

"Neh." I replied, arching a brow "He'll live."

"LIZZIE!" Jane scolded, hitting me on the arm.

"Bet you any money he's the one who's been stealing the wine from the School's charity bottle collection." Charlotte mused, stroking and imaginary beard.

"CHAR!" Jane turned and hit Charlotte on the arm to, eyes accusing. "You shouldn't be so mean!" She rebuked, folding her arms.

"He shouldn't have given me detention but, there we go." Charlotte shrugged "That's life."

There was a small knock on the door announcing the entrance of this weird, weedy little nervous kid who delivered our register box each morning.

"Great!" Mr I'm-so-very-hung-over-it's-ridiculous sniffed "More work for me to do! Like I didn't have enough already."

And that's when he broke down into even more tears and started beating the floor crying "WHY!" like it had done him personal harm. It wasn't the _floor_ his wife was having an affair with. It was clearly Mr Lenchfield from the PE department…everyone knew that… Except maybe him.

Charlotte rolled her eyes as Jane (Like the angel she is) got up out of her chair and walked over to talk to Mr Probably-tried-washed-himself-in-a-pond-this-morning and the little weedy kid.

That girl… Always thinking of others. Bless her little cotton socks (Or tan tights. Whichever.)

"So… How's Mary's arm?" Charlotte asked, leaning back on her chair, peering at her nails.

"Sprained apparently" I replied, arching a brow.

I didn't even know you _could_ sprain an arm. How is that even possible?

Either way, Mary is _totally_ milking it for everything she can get.

"Bet she loves that…" She chuckled.

"You're telling me. She has been issued a _school scrib_ebecause they put some weird, cotton-ey cast on her right arm (That's she's trying to get everyone to sign despite the fact the ink runs through onto her arm) so she's claiming she can't write or do anything at school." Lucky retard.

"I thought Mary was left handed?" Char asked, swinging back and forth on her chair.

"Exactly." It's quite alarming that the people in charge of our education haven't figured this out yet.

The chair in front of us scraped across the floor as Fitz dragged it out from under the table and jumped down onto it.

"Hey losers" He grinned, shuffling in closer. "How's it going?"

"Awesomely." Charlotte grinned back, as her chair legs hit the floor for the last time.

Fitz smiled at Char and then turned to me. He shivered slightly and looked away before turning away from me, back to Char.

Whoa. What did I do? That was a bit uncalled for!

Then again, I do have that effect on boys. Unfortunately. (Or Fortunately if we're referring to Creeps)

"What was that for?!" I hissed, kicking his shin under the table.

"Flip me!" He groaned, clutching his leg. "You're quite the cow Elizabeth Bennet."

"You totally just grimaced at me!" I cried, kicking him again. "What did I do?!"

Fitz winced, before rolling his eyes at me. Asshat.

"It's pretty difficult, Lizzie, trying to convince yourself that you weren't the girl I found underneath my cousin last lunch in a dark secluded cupboard." He shivered (Again) and pretended to start vomiting.

This _again_. There's only so many cupboard jokes you can take.

"That sounds so dirty when you say it like that." Char chuckled.

"Hey." Fitz warned. "This was _so_ dirty before I got here."

"It wasn't what it looked like." I huffed, annoyed.

I should just get a sign saying the words:

IT WAS NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE.

And

I AM NOT A SLAG. HONESTLY.

"I still don't understand how you ended up on top of each other…" Char mused.

"I still don't understand how you ended up _in _there at all." And again with the kicking of Fitz under the table.

He is such a- GAH!

Before I managed to start on my huge _I was not trying to 'get it on' with your cousin_ rant, Jane ran back to the table holding four leaflets grinning.

"Guys!" She squealed. "Look!"

She tossed the leaflets onto the centre of the table and sat down on her seat grinning.

"What are these…?" I asked, picking one up gingerly.

If these are another load of-

_Just be yourself. YOU ARE AWESOME! (Now don't do drugs.)_

Leaflets. I am going to rip them to shreds and eat them.

I know I am awesome; I don't need a shoddy leaflet _telling_ me so. And I definitely don't need a leaflet telling me that it is "okay to be different".

Pft, please. Like I don't know.

"They were in the register box and we aren't supposed to get them until this afternoon but" Jane giggled wickedly like she had just robbed the Bank of England or something "I thought they wouldn't miss four or so for me and my besties."

"Jane!" me, Char and Fitz shouted in mock horror "How could you!"

She giggled again and handed them to us.

"Look! Doesn't it look amazing?!" She cried, flicking through the leaflet-that-was-actually-more-like-a-booklet.

"What does…?" Char asked, picking one up.

"The new school residential." Jane answered, grinning. "Guess where we're going guys…"

And there, in bold letters on the front page, said-

**WELCOME TO EVE HILL.**

_**The Residential of a Life Time.**_

And the fun begins…

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**Author's Note (Yes again. And what?):  
**

**I have decided I complain too much in A/Ns. It's not nice. I'll be nice. THANK YOU FOR READING GUYS! I love you and you are all awesome (You'd be even more awesome if you dropped a review *waggles eyebrows*) You don't have to read the rest of the A/N as it's just going to be about the last few chapters and how this is going to work so yeah, if you're leaving early thanks for reading this far! I love you lots like jelly tots! If you are staying then great! Thanks! Oh before you go I need to talk to someone! Along time ago when I first started this story, I spoke to a girl about turning Caroline into a zombified horse. I don't know if you're still reading this and I can't remember who it was (It might be someone I still talk to) but it'd be great if you could leave a review or PM saying who you are. I have NOT forgotten my promise.  
**

**Basically I 've realised that T'W'S can not go on forever and after a lot of thinking I have decided to end it. Which sucks. And I am internally dying from the thought but- yeah. It had to happen some time. However, I want some ideas from you guys on what you want to happen. I've asked before for ideas and each time someone suggests Lizzie and Will going on a camp or trip so (Spoilers) everyone is going on a camp for the last few chapters. Suggestions on the craziness and mischief they could get up to would we very welcome, ideas on how the story should end would also be noted with gratitude. Oh, and just to troll a little bit, a couple do get together, but not who everyone is expecting. In the book one female 'dates' a certain gentleman in my fanfic, not quite the case. *winks* Your welcome.  
**

**Ally xx****  
**


	16. Of Bra Straps and Bouncy Pits of Hell

**Author's Note:**

**HAAALLLLLLOOOO! It's so nice to be back! AHAHAHA! I haven't been on here properly since like- THIS YEAR, and I have so many stories and PMs to catch up on... I'm getting there though. I've got to be quick, sort of need to go to school, but I just wanted to say that, obviously it's been a while and while my laptop was broken ALL OF LAST WEEK (K.O.) I started writing other fanfics for P&P that were more serious, so I'm out out of the flow of... Well Lizzie I guess. Therefore it would be greatly appreciated if you looked over the flatness of this chap and it's AWFUL grammar, and focused on the picture it _hopefully_ creates. Many thanks, love and cupcakes for all.**

**Ally xxx**

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**Dedication:**

**Again, this is going to be a long dedication so feel free to overlook it if you want... I won't be offended.**

**sammmi-darcy - You have been the perfect fellow fangirly friend to me and have allowed me to flail, spazz, and vomit feels all over the place. I really don't know how I would have got through the angsty times in LBD without you :) You make Tumblr an even better place than it already was1**

**Sach is life - THANK YOU for all the help and advice you have given me throughout this story. You have been somewhat a loyal reviewer to me and I really appreciate it! And thank you for your advice during NaNoWriMo! It really helped :D  
**

**Truths and Endgames - You have been an AWESOME penpal and friend and everything else to me. You have encouraged me to write and have just spoken to me in such a way that has influenced both me and my writing. YOU ARE TOO AWESOME AND YOU KNOW IT! :D  
**

** Unspeakable49 - Ergh. I don't even know what I'm going to say about _you_... *snorts* Thank you for being the perfectly amazing Princess of Awesometasticness and an absolutely HILARIOUS Potterhead. I'll over look your dessert preferances and try to be nice to you for once.**

**Whosepride -What can I say? I have LOVED reading all of your stories and all of your work and it's amazing that, for some unknown reason, you actually like mine! You have been a fantastical friend and I have loved speaking to you for- what? How long has it been now!? :D  
**

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_Previously_

_"Look! Doesn't it look amazing?!" She cried, flicking through the leaflet-that-was-actually-more-like-a-booklet._

_"What does…?" Char asked, picking one up._

_"The new school residential." Jane answered, grinning. "Guess where we're going guys…"_

_And there, in bold letters on the front page, said-_

_**WELCOME TO EVE HILL.**_

_**The Residential of a Life Time.**_

_And the fun begins…_

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Of Bra Straps and Bouncy Pits of Hell

Sometimes in life we have to take a back seat and just look at things… We need to appreciate our lives and just marvel at the wonder that is this world and all things holy it contains.

For example, who on earth would ever think of creating the beauty that is Wi-Fi? I don't know but whoever it was, I shall find you, send you flowers, and thank you profusely.

And who thought of making clothes, houses, cars and goodness knows what else! We take all these things for granted and yet we never seem to batter an eyelid about the fact that once, perhaps not so long ago, these things didn't exist.

However, having said that, WHOEVER invented the trampoline needs to acquaint their face with a slice of bread… FORCEFULLY.

And yes, I'm being quite serious.

Why would _anyone_ think it would be a good idea to buy a giant rectangular frame, attach weird springy will-scratch-through-the-skin-if-you-just-brush-a-finger-across-it material to it, and then make a group of young teenage girls jump on it, doing moves that could possibly break their necks.

For a school that won't let you wear your hair down while running across a field for 'health and safety' reasons, they're really quite lax when it comes the "possible breaking of neck and instant death" front.

You want to know how many times I've nearly landed flat on the cold wooden floor THIS LESSON? Around seven now.

Do you want to know how many times I've tripped over my hair doing a cross country in my ENTIRE LIFE? NEVER!

Clearly there are some problems with my teachers if they think loose hair poses more of a threat than, I don't know, A SPRINGY VAULT TO HELL!

Just saying…

"I..." Charlotte started before flying back into the air "Think… We've…Got…" Her toes grazed against the criss-cross base of the trampoline as she threw in a flip for good luck.

Why is she so goddamn good at this?

So unfair… Cow.

"A...Good…Chance…" She threw out her legs and landed on the trampoline in a perfect seat drop, trying to catch her breath.

"I agree" Jane called from the opposite side "I can't see any reason why we wouldn't get in."

"It sounds AMAZING though doesn't it?!" Char flung herself back and lay down still, gasping "And it's how many days off school… Quite frankly it's like _heaven_!"

"Abseiling…Rock Climbing…" Jane said, dreamily.

"Bouncy rooms… Camping…"

The two of them went on fantasising about bloody Eve Hill (Again) and about how much of a "good opportunity" it is, and about what an "amazing experience" it would be.

It had been like this ALL WEEK.

ALL FREAKING WEEK!

Eve Hill has been the class hype for FAR too long in my eyes now. No one could literally shut up about it. We were all freaking out and getting really excited- like planning what we would take and what we would wear excited- when yesterday they decided to drop on us that actually, because it was a new idea for a trip and was something of a tester for future years, there would only be ten spaces…. TEN!

But don't worry because if you don't get in this year you can always go the next!

Like- What?!

We did point out to our HEADteacher that we wouldn't be here next year considering WE'RE IN FRICKIN YEAR ELEVEN to which he replied we can go in sixth form.

Our school doesn't _have_ a sixth-form. It's slightly concerning that this man is in charge of my education. At least I now have someone to blame for my thickness…

Now let's face it, I'm not exactly the luckiest person in the world so my chance of getting in is like-

Well, there isn't any.

Knowing me I'd probably get in but then none of my friends would and I'd end up spending the week with creepy Collins and his fellow creepsters. Or EVEN WORSE, I'd be just me, Caroline and her good for nothing kiss-up-the-butt-stab-you-in-the-back friends.

Or all of my friends would get in and it would just be me left…

Actually that sounds more likely. Great. Bring on a week of Billy no mating.

Wait, that sounded weird.

Okay… Not like that. Let's be mature about this.

The chances are already stacked against me considering I have a TWIN. As I pointed out to Jane, there are only ten spaces, and they can't exactly let one twin go without the other, so that'd mean if they let us in, one fifth of the trip would be taken up by Bennet Girls. Would YOU fill one fifth of a school trip up with Bennet Girls? Because I wouldn't.

Our school aren't overly fond of the Bennets (Excluding Jane and Moi) and when you see my sisters can you blame them?

"There's like OVER A HUNDRED people in our year, the chances of us getting in are…" One in a hundred? "Very slim…" I jumped in, bursting their pretty little bubble of hopes and dreams.

Sorry guys… but that's life.

"That's why we need to be cunning and calculating about it." Charlotte countered, grinning. "We need to-"

"Hand in our letters in such a manner that they cannot help but succumb and let us in on their fantastical trip?" Yeah… Because THAT would go down well.

"We just need a plan." Jane leaned on the trampoline and put on her thoughtful face. "We need something absolutely-"

"Idiot proof?" Char looked straight at me.

Oh thanks Char… Nice to know what you think about me.

"Anyway" She carried on "While me and Jane put together our genius and get our pretty little butts down to Eve Hill, it's your turn to completely and utterly embarrass yourself."

She stood up, jumped off the trampoline next to Jane, and then gestured to me.

Again… Cow.

I had been trying to put this off for a while now.

I mean even getting on the goddamn thing is a challenge. WHY ARE THEY SO HIGH!?

And why are my shorts so small?

I feel like the whole world has paused and gathered around behind me to stare at my butt. If I manage to make it alive through this lesson (Which I doubt), the first thing I am doing is sending a VERY angry letter to… Someone. I don't know who yet, but I am SENDING IT!

I swung my leg over the side and pulled myself up onto the bouncy pit of hell and then slowly made my way over to the little red cross in the middle.

Do you know how difficult it is to walk on this thing with hockey socks on? It's like my teacher purposely tries to increase _every_ potential risk. From how I'm feeling right now, SHE will be the receiver of my very, very angry letter. What a Donovan.

So what do I do now? Bounce a little?

Couldn't I do this on the floor? I'm amazing at bouncing on the floor!

Should I twirl?

I'm going to twir-

HOLY MOTHER OF FUDGE! DO NOT TWIRL!

I think my life just flashed before my eyes. Why do I have so many limbs?

In the true words of Kesha- "WE'RE GUNNA DIE YOUNG!"

Oh Gravity… You son of a-

"Oh Eliza… Don't you just look lovely up there…!" An irritating voice sounded from down on the floor.

There is only one person I know with such a fake ass, snivel-y voice as that.

I turned to see Caroline standing, smirking next to Jane and Char because, you know, I didn't have enough to deal with before.

"Your trampolines over there _Carol_." I pointed out, dryly.

I will jump off this thing and onto her head. Trust me, that would NOT be a hardship.

"Sorry _Eliza_, I just heard your little friends talking about Eve Hill. I just HAD to come and join in! It's really quite sweet considering you have NO CHANCE of going." She turned to Jane and said, smiling sweetly "You know Jane, you could probably get in if you started hanging with the right crowd… Ditch these losers and come hang with us… You'd be _guaranteed_ a place!"

Ergh! I bet her smile could make babies cry… It makes ME want to cry.

"And who said _you'd_ get in?" I asked, standing like a lemon in the middle of the trampoline.

Do you know how hard it is to sound intimidating when you're bouncing slightly on a trampoline like a retard? VERY.

"Do you know who I am?" An annoying little brat that needs to be slapped round the face with a wet fish. " I am a _Bingley_, my mother and father are on the Governors. Of _course_ I'm getting in."

Damn. I forgot about that.

Well we're officially screwed.

Maybe we should get our parents to join the governors-

NOPE. No. Uh-uh. I'd rather not go actually.

My mother part of the-

NOPE. Not happening.

"Don't worry" She snickered to our annoyed faces "I can always send you a snow globe… Or some fudge." She looked us up and down and then laughed "Actually… You should probably lay off the fudge. Especially you Eliza, you're putting a bit on aren't you."

She giggled and then trotted back off over to her trampoline next to ours.

I AM NOT PUTTING ON WEIGHT!?

I'll have you know I am a healthy-

I don't know because I haven't weighed myself in a while.

Okay, so yeah, I may jiggle a little but that is MUSCLE!

HARD CORE MUSCLE!

And I am on a _very_ strict diet right now.

Purely sea-food.

I SEE food and I eat it! HA!

Okay maybe Caroline was right.

Mrs Fisher jogged back into the hall (Where she had gone I have NO idea) and started surveying the girls.

Oh Crap.

Her eyes landed on me and she tittered.

"C'MON BENNET!" Mrs Fisher bellowed across the hall "BOUNCE GIRL! BOUNCE!"

There is something slightly messed up with those words, isn't there?

Sometimes I just think to myself, is this crap even legal.

It's like she gets some kind of sick pleasure out of seeing me half dead and sweating.

There is a name for people like that, as I once told her… In my head (The woman's terrifying OKAY!?)

I started bouncing a little more until I was actually jumping.

Oh Schiznit. I'm going to die… I can feel it.

WHY ARE MY LEGS LIKE JELLY!?

LEGS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE JELLY!

I NEED A DOCTOR!

"SEAT DROP!" She screamed "SEAT DROP BEENET!"

Oh fudge.

I attempted to do a seat drop but it looked more like a had been fired out of a catapult on the way back up.

But I'm still alive and that's what counts.

"BACK DROP BENNET! DROP DOWN! PUT IT DOWN!"

I looked to the side to see Jane and Char peeing themselves in laughter.

Oh I am so getting my revenge.

As soon as I am finished trying not to die.

Okay… Back drop.

We can do this Bennet. We can do this.

I shut my eyes and tried to do everything I had been taught in the air without looking.

Oh Schiznit, I am falling.

Falling.

Still falling.

My back is hitting something and I am sinking.

And now I am flying upwards and-

Oh god. I'm dead aren't I?

I opened my eyes slowly and saw the whole hall looking at me in disbelief (Including Jane, Char and Caroline.)

I am standing up.

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER I DID IT!

"WELL DONE BENNET!" Mrs Fisher applauded. Everybody around the room started clapping and cheering, apart from Caroline.

I must have got lucky… Seriously.

I tried doing it again, and again, and again, but each time I landed on my feet!

I CAN DO A BACK DROP!?

And what! What trampoline! Oh yeah, NOTHING!

Mrs Fisher drifted out of the room again and everyone carried on what they had been doing before… Except for me. I carried on back dropping like a boss.

"You can stop now." Char shouted as I my back hit the springy stuff. "You'll do your back in."

"NEVER!" I scream, flying upwards "THIS BACK WAS MADE FOR DROPPING, AND DROPPINGS WHAT IT'LL DO! AND IF YOU TRY AND STOP ME, I'LL DROP ALL OVER YOU!" I sung.

I should get a career in song writing to be honest.

I am such a boss at it.

Char rolled her eyes and then carried on talking to Jane ignoring me.

She's just jealous because I've out dropped her. Oh Char… Jealousy looks so ugly on you…! MUHAHA!

I jumped around a bit, since I suddenly seem to be the boss at this, and spun so I was facing the changing room doors to see the boy's door creaking open.

The boys still aren't out yet? What do they DO in there?

A few boys trickled out holding sports gear and bags full of footballs. So it was the football team lagging behind then-

Hold on. Isn't Will in the football team.

Which means he's still in there… And he's going to have to come out… And walk past me.

Now, Elizabeth, I know your past attempts to impress Will have all failed… Epically, but this one is FAULT PROOF!

I saw Caroline from the corner of my eye smiling at the boys while doing some complicated flip in the air. As she landed she looked over at me and gave me one of her so-fake-it-could-make-barbie-look-real smiles as if to say "Dream on BENNET". looks like her thoughts are similar to mine then.

Well you little poo-bag, you are going DOWN!

D-O-W-N DOWN!

I jumped up and repeated what I had done before.

I am falling.

Falling.

My back is hitting the springy stuff.

I am sinking and-

Wait. This isn't supposed to happen.

As I went to jump back up something on my back pulled me back down so I was lying, bouncing on the trampoline.

What the fudge?

I tried to jump again but something tugged me back down.

What the- I'M BLOODY STUCK!

I looked over at the boys changing rooms but luckily Will hadn't come out yet… YET.

Let me just get myself out of this little pickle Will, and then I shall show you my awesome skills.

I wriggled and bounced but something on my back was caught on the little grid of the trampoline's surface.

Okay. Let's think this through…

Maybe I should do one big bounce…

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

I threw my body up but as I did I felt the back of my bra slip slightly, nearly coming undone.

Oh crap.

Please… For the love of all things holy, please tell me my bra is NOT stuck to the trampoline. Please… PLEASE!

…

It's stuck isn't it?

SNICKERDOODLES!

I tried to get my arm behind my back, but the more I moved the more the catch slipped. So I either lie stuck to a trampoline or get up with an unfastened bra. Well… This is just freaking perfect.

The boys started walking around the trampoline and running through the hall. Still no Will… _yet_.

Well there's only one thing I can do.

"Pssst." I hissed across the trampoline "Jane…JANE!"

But before I even had chance to start my mad waving and as-subtle-as-a-loaf-of-Hovis-bread-in-Antarctica signals, the little thing (Or Ginger ball of all things cute) popped into view distracting Jane. He ran under the trampoline to Jane, picked her up and swung her around.

Bingley, I love you. But now is REALLY not the time.

I tried waving and calling Jane a few more times but as soon as she's with Bingley it's like the WHOLE world disappears and it's just them two left.

And, no. That's not sweet.

Quite frankly it's quite inconsiderate and selfish.

Like now for example… I am having a serious crisis right now but she's too busy using her boy-enchanting techniques on good ol'Charlie to even NOTICE.

Yet when _she_ wants something she thinks it's okay to pull the whole "But we're _twins _act."

So much for sister's before misters.

"Psssttt." I hissed again. "Char… Lottie…Cow-face…Charlotte… CHARLOTTE."

And nothing.

She is completely blanking me!

Wait, just wait, for when they need my help.

I'll tell you what I'll be doing while they're crying out desperately for my expertise.

Sitting in a corner laughing my socks off at them. Honestly.

Put the gun in the fridge my friends; revenge is a dish best served cold.

Suddenly I heard a deep, rich laughter coming from the Boy's door and saw a head covered in dark brown locks bopping over my feet.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF PLATO AND HIS LONG BEARD!?

Will and Fitz walked out of the boy's changing rooms laughing at some joke I couldn't hear.

As soon as Will entered the hall he scanned the room, looking for someone.

Please God, don't let it be me. Any other day it can be me… Just not today.

Caroline started doing some ridiculous, neck breaking stunts in the air trying to catch his attention, but he looked straight past her.

If it wasn't for the fact I can't move thanks to my bra being stuck to a trampoline I am going to attack with a pair of scissors as soon as I am free, I would descried to you how GODDAMN HOT WILL LOOKED IN HIS FOOTBALL GEAR but yeah- nope.

Blame my bra. I sure am.

His eyes got nearer my trampoline so I pressed myself down and hoped to god he couldn't see me.

Elizabeth, we need to be at one with the trampoline.

If we believe we are the trampoline, we BECOME the trampoline.

We need to think like a trampoline. Breath like a trampoline. BE A TRAMPOLINE!

I shut my eyes and muttered to myself quietly "I am a trampoline…I am a trampoline…"

Bouncy bouncy bounce bounce bounce. See. Only a TRUE trampoline would be able to think like that.

Be at one with the trampoline Lizzie… Be _at one_.

"Hey Elizabeth…" I heard an all too familiar voice say from the side of me. "What ya' doing…?"

Elizabeth? Pft, we know no Elizabeth… We only know a TRAMPOLINE!

Maybe if ignore him he'll go away…

I opened my eyes to see Will and Fitz standing at the opposite side to Bingley and Jane, looking down at me like I was some unknown alien species…

I am not an alien, I am a _trampoline_… Do your research.

"Hi." I said like everything was normal.

New plan. If I _believe_ this is normal, this will _become_ normal.

Because this is totally normal.

Girls get their bras stuck to trampolines ALL THE TIME.

Totally normal.

Totes.

"Hi." Will and Fitz replied warily.

"How's it going?" Fitz asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine…Just fine."

Well. If this isn't awkward.

I turned away from them and stared up at the ceiling.

Will can read me like a book… if I look at him he'll know something's up and there is NO WAY I am saying "Oh yeah... My bra's just got a bit stuck. Nothing much."

Plus the ceiling is so pretty to look at… I mean those mouldy tiles- Pwah.

Never seen anything quite as beautiful.

"Elizabeth" Will said after a while "What exactly are you doing?"

"Trampoline-ing." I tried to turn to Char and get her attention again, but I felt my bra slip even further and stopped.

"See" Fitz continued "It doesn't look much like that."

"You're a boy you wouldn't understand."

"It looks rather like you're lying flat on your back doing nothing."

"That's what it would look like to you… Because you're a boy." They stood there, awkwardly, trying not to laugh while I lay on my back… Praying that my bra wouldn't come undone while those two were standing watching me.

"Hey Will, Hey Fitz." Charlotte jumped up onto the trampoline, causing me to flop around like a fish out of water. "Hey Lizzie… What are you doing?"

Will bit his lip and tried not to laugh while Fitz tried to hide his snickers as coughs.

What the hell are _they _laughing at?

Never seen a girl lie on a trampoline before? HUH!?

"I'm practicing…" Think…think….THINK! "The submarine move…"

WHAT!? What the HELL is a submarine move?!

"The submarine move?" Char inquired with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah… you know, the _submarine move_." I repeated meaningfully. "In fact, now you're here you can HELP me practice the CODE section on the RED cross."

Charlotte dropped to her knees next to me and leaned over me so her hair fell like a curtain around is.

"Wha-"

"Code red!" I hissed.

"No it's not…" Charlotte looked down at me funny, before shaking her head and looking over at Will and Fitz.

Well I am _sorry_ if I didn't use the correct code name for this situation but it's just WE DON'T HAVE A CODE FOR MY-BRA-IS-STUCK-TO-THE-FRICKIN'-TRAMPOLINE OKAY?

And you want to know _why_ we don't Charlotte?

BECAUSE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO NORMAL PEOPLE!

Like EVER.

"Are you sure everything's fine?" Will asked, concerned.

"Yup." I said quickly before dragging Char down closer so I could whisper in her ear "Don't react now, but I'm kind of stuck."

She rose one eyebrow quizzically so I mouthed the word 'bra' to her.

She looked at me, then at the trampoline, then back at me and then snorted and burst out laughing.

So much for not reacting.

I elbowed her in the knee and gave her another meaningful look until she composed herself.

"Are you sure…?" Fitz repeated.

Char nodded and grinned "Everything is tip topety."

"Fine as wine." I added. Don't overdo it Lizzie. "All good in the hood. As awesome as a family of possums. Great like-"

Charlotte coughed and returned the look.

Right. Over did it.

"You look a bit…" Fitz searched for the word before settling for "Weird."

"That's just her general look." Char shot back without missing a beat.

I don't see why people still feel the need to point out I'm weird. Isn't everyone?

I mean seriously… Build a bridge and GET OVER IT!

He-he.

"But weirder than normal…"

"Nope. Just my general look." I tacked a grin on to the end just to make it a little more convincing.

They look slightly weirded out.

Then again they look like that every time I talk to them.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

"Well" Fitz coughed "We just wanted to tell you to meet us at the usual table at lunch. We've got a plan."

"_You've_ got a plan." Will corrected.

"You suggested it."

"As a JOKE!"

"Still your idea."

"How is it my idea?"

"You said it first."

"AS A JOKE!"

Me and Char just sat and watched back and forth as they argued with each other.

"ANYWAY" Will said finally, glaring at Fitz "See you at lunch?" He smiled at me as he said it.

Man he looks so nice when he smiles…

Sir… Congratulations on your face!

Ah… So pretty…

Wait? Was that a question? Sugar!

What did he say? Was I supposed to reply?

Okay… Say something smart and witty. Smart and witty…

"Uh-huh." I nodded like a lost puppy.

NAILED IT!

Mr Hobbs jogged out of the boys changing rooms and started calling for all the boys, telling them to make their way down to the football pitch.

Fitz and Will looked over at him and then back at us.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Will repeated.

I nodded back. Oh lord… I can smell freedom.

I don't think I've EVER wanted Will to leave as much as I do now.

JUST GO BOY GOOOOO!

"Seriously though, what _are_ you supposed to be doing?" Fitz laughed.

"The submarine-y thingy" Char rushed "Now I think you've got to leave." She pointed over at Mr Hobbs and then waved goodbye to them.

I don't think I have ever been so grateful to someone as I am to you right now Char.

I love you so much girl… so much.

"Yup…" I agreed "Wouldn't want to keep you."

Fitz and Will looked like they wanted to say something but instead Fitz just shook his head muttered something about how weird we were before walking off.

ONE DOWN ONE TO GO!

"Bye Will." Char smiled, still waving.

He looked at me with his brows knitted together slightly.

He looks kind of upset.

Ah well. I'd rather him be upset than see my bra now off you pop.

Again he went to say something, but he just shook his head, smiled weakly and then jogged off.

Damn he's one sexy little man when he's running.

I tried to lean up to perv on his legs but Char pushed me back down and gave me the pointy finger.

Such a kill-joy… Just because she doesn't like to admire the gifts that God gave us.

She looked over at the door and counted down.

"One…Two…Three…" She looked at me wide eyed and grinned. "He's gone."

Oh my goodness.

He's gone. Just like that.

No embarrassing encounter- At least not majorly- and my bra is STILL ON!

AND HE'LL NEVER KNOW!

"I did it!" I squealed to Char in disbelief "For once I didn't embarrass the Schiznit out of myself!"

"OH MY GOODNESS!" She half hugged me while I was lying down and laughed "YOU DID IT!"

"What can I say" I blew my fringe out of my eyes and grinned "It's how I roll."

Who's feeling rather like a boss right now? MOI!

"I thought you were supposed to be getting over him anyway." Char said, not even bothering to try and help me untangle my bra strap from the grid "You were all like '_I'm so determined this time'_ and then you didn't. And then you were found in a cupboard underneath him."

A week later and they STILL couldn't get over it… Honestly.

It's really quite pathetic.

"Did you not just see him? He was in FOOTBALL GEAR Char… FOOTBALL GEAR! And he smiled at me- Like did you see that smile?"

"I saw that smile."

"It was cute right?" Cute… try SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT!

"Yes…" She sighed, smiling "It was gorgeous and directed right at you."

"I KNOW RIGHT!" Flail!

We sat and giggled for a while like the young sweet teenage girls we were until Mrs Fisher decided to grace us with her presence and spread her general joy.

"BENNET, LUCAS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ONE AT A TIME, ONE AT A TIME!" She yelled, once again. From across the hall.

Why can she never simply speak? She always yells, screams, shouts, bellows:

She never just says.

Maybe she swallowed a fog horn when she was younger…

"We're having a bit of crisis." Char muttered, rolling her eyes.

"BENNET WHY ARE YOU LYING DOWN!? GET UP YOU LAZY LITTLE SO AND SO!"

Lazy? Me? LAZY!?

Pft. I exercise at LEAST once a day.

I run back and forth from the kitchen during the add breaks of the Big Bang Theory AND I run to get my laptop charger when it's on 7%. I resent her saying that actually.

"I would love to but my bra is stuck to the trampoline." I murmured.

"WHAT WAS THAT BENNET?! WANT TO SAY THAT A BIT LOUDER!?"

Maybe if I ignore her she'll go away.

Or maybe if I ignore her for long enough she'll just pass out on the floor due to lack of breath as she ALWAYS SCREAMS AND IS RED IN THE FACE!

Hopefully the latter.

"SAY THAT LOUDER BENNET I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" She yelled again. "SAY IT AGAIN!"

"I said." I repeated quietly "My bra is stuck to the trampoline."

All of the hall seemed to be looking at me in interest… Even Bingley (Who for some reason is STILL HERE!)

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"

Is she some kind of deaf old woman or what?

"I SAID MY BRA IS STUCK TO THE GODDAMN TRAMPOLINE AND I CAN'T MOVE OKAY!" I screamed until I was red in the face.

As soon as I said it I heard it echo a million times around the hall and I saw all the eyes bulge out of their heads as if I had said some kind of forbidden word.

Charlotte gasped and her hand flew straight to her mouth. She looked like she wanted to both burst out laughing and die on the spot. Her eyes were glued to the door like she was seeing a ghost.

I knew it was too good to be true.

"He's standing behind me isn't he?" I sighed.

"Yup." Char lips were so tight they were nearly invisible.

And low and behold Will was standing at the door, bright red, looking like a giant squid had just emerged from the floor and started dancing the can-can.

I give up.

Quite literally.

* * *

**Author's Note (Yes again... that a problem?):  
**

**I know I know... I'm kind of out of the flow of Lizzie's mind so it's a bit more... BLEH but I'M GETTING BACK INTO THE- Who the hell put cap lock on? Don't you hate it when people BORROW YOUR LAPTOP then leave Caplock on? Anyway, PMs will be replied to gradually over the week as will NEW reviews (And a few old ones... but not all -Sorry! I've read them though!). As soon as I have time to write I KNOW what's going to happen exactly in the next two chapters (For once) and roughly what's going to happen after that.  
**

**Reviews maybe? Was it _that_ bad? Was it okay? What did you like? What do you want to rip out and burn?**

**Ally xxx (It feels nice to type that again)**

**P.S. Can I just say that the whole bra-stuck-to-a-trampoline thing _might_ sound far fetched, but it happens. Happened to my friend like two or three times. Man how I wish I was there to hysterically laugh. **

**P.P.S. Any LBD-ers or seahorses out there...? ERMAHGORDH WHAT DID YOU THINK OF JANE'S GOODBYE AND-**

**AHHHHH JINGJINGJINGJINGJING! If anyone feels like having a partner to COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FLAIL AND SPAZZ WITH! Please, do not hesitate in contacting me *waggles eyebrows* :D**


	17. The McDaddy of a Plan to Beat All Plans

**Author's Note:**

**Hi everyone! OHMY- It's SO nice to be back! I've been gone a while, right? AND I'VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH! *grabs you all* GROUP HUG! I am partially back now. For those of you who have the pleasure of my company *waggles eyebrows* you will know that all my whatever-it-was-I've-spent-the-past-FOUR-MONTHS-do ing is over, and I am now a FREE LADY! Apart from School. And life. But- meh. Who needs it! Soo yeah. That. I'm back now and won't be leaving like that for a VERY LONG TIME (If ever). I made a promise that I won't start every chapter with "Hey guys! This chappie is a load of codswollop!" so I'm going to try and be balanced. I a out of the flow of Lizze's mind... I'll admit that. I found it difficult to get back into the style and this chapter is mainly dialogue b/c it was necessary for future plot development. However, I quite like this one so tough look and deal with it.**

**I LOV YOU ALL AND SHALL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN!**

**-Ally.**

**P.S. I have matured significantly in the past few months I've been away... Can you tell by the lack of kisses :D**

* * *

_Previously_

"_He's standing behind me isn't he?" I sighed._

_"Yup." Char lips were so tight they were nearly invisible._

_And low and behold Will was standing at the door, bright red, looking like a giant squid had just emerged from the floor and started dancing the can-can._

_I give up._

_Quite literally._

* * *

The McDaddy of Plans to Beat All Plans

This is ridiculous. Honest to god ridiculous.

I mean, what are they even saying? I hardly see how this helpful...

I should just give up and move to a desert where I can bury my head in sand right now.

And be done with it.

I mean, you can't get your bra straps stuck to the sand while your crush walks in right?

Then again this is me we're talking about...

Basically what I am trying to say here is:

WHHHAAAYYYY! WHY ME LORD!? WHY ME!?

What did I do in my past life to deserve this? WHAT!?

"It _really_ wasn't _that_ bad" Jane repeated for the GAGILLIONTH time. You know when someone emphasizes _every _other _word_ in that sentence that, yes. It really was that bad.

"It could have been worse?" Char piped in, grinning.

"Exactly... I mean, it's not like your bra popped or anything."

"Could have been worse" Char sung "Oh so much worse."

Note to self: When trying to comfort someone, telling them that it 'could've been worse' does NOT HELP!

Oh, and forcefully acquaint Charlotte's face with a brick. Because I blame her for this.

"Just because it could've been worse, doesn't make it any better."

Maybe I could just bail out now. Just grab my stuff, run through the gates, jump on the Green Bus and ride it until I can ride it no more.

Or until I run out of bus fare...

Or until I reach McDonalds because I could really do with burying my feels in a Mcflurry and then eating them away right now.

"True... But you _have_ done much worse, and you've managed to get over that."

What? Are they still here?

CAN THEY NOT SEE I AM HAVING A CRISIS!?

If they have no useful advice (Or ice-cream) they should just LEAVE NOW!

"That is SO TRUE! I mean-" Char burst out laughing as a thought popped into her head "Can you remember that time you tried to flirt with him, AND THEN ASKED HIM ABOUT HIS SHOES!?"

"Oh my god, yes!" Jane snorted alongside her. "That was SO funny!"

Oh right. That's cool. Laugh at my expense while I am HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN!

"Or that time she-" Jane gasped for air and then grabbed Char's arm "She- pretended to snog you on the floor-"

"AND WILL WALKED IN!" They both screamed and clutched their sides, tears rolling down their faces.

No... really guys. Don't be put out by me, casually banging my head off the wall. Please, don't feel the need to stop laughing at me just because I actually needed your help right now. Seriously guys... It's fine. Real fine.

"Or the second time-" Jane started again. Okay. This is not fine. "She tried to flirt with Will-"

She? _She?_ SHE!? ARE THEY KIDDING-

I AM STILL HERE YOU FRICKIN' QUEEN NONNY OF ASSHATTERY! OH MY GOD!

"AND BROKE HIS NOSE!"

Did Charlotte just snort? That was like a literal pig snort. That's disgusting.

"I didn't break his-" I muttered before Char interrupted.

"I mean how can you even break his nose?"

"I didn't break his-"

"Then there's the cupboard incident!" Jane reminded her.

"OHMYGOD YES THAT WAS-"

"HOW IS THIS HELPING!?" I screamed grabbing Char by her collars and pulling her off the floor.

The entire corridor went quiet as everyone stared in our direction.

Well... On one side, at least that shut them up.

Alongside everyone else.

My chest is heaving and I'm pretty sure I look like the Hulk.

Only less green... And more awesome!

"Okay Lizzie...Slowly put Charlotte back on the floor..." Jane held up her hands in surrender and smiled at me sweetly. "Nice and slowly."

I looked at Charlotte who gave me her pervy smile while wiggling her eyebrows.

Ergh. God... Why am I even friends with these people...?

I put Charlotte back down on the floor. She brushed off her shoulders and readjusted her tie before grinning at me.

Cow.

Can someone just explain how reminding me of all my embarrassing encounters was supposed to make me feel any better?

Because I could really use some enlightenment right now.

"The point is" Jane began walking, again, towards the canteen doors hovering at the end of the corridor "You've done worse and you didn't _die_ of embarrassment then... I mean that was all_ AGES _ago and-"

"That all happened a week or so ago." I interrupted.

"No it didn't..."

"Yeah. It really did."

Char and Jane stared at each other wide eyed.

"Well then..." Char started "You are a lost cause. GO GIRL GO! AND HANG YOUR HEAD IN SHAME!"

"No don't do that-" Jane tried to 'reason'.

"YOU ARE A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A TEENAGE GIRL!"

"Charlotte-"

"RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!"

"Charlotte!" Jane glared at Charlotte, who eventually shut her mouth, before turning to me "Lizzie" She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a I-am-your-older-my-fifteen-minutes-sister-so-liste n-to-my-fountain-of-wisdomosity look "You should not be ashamed of anything. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Okay, so you _kind_ of shouted out the word bra in front of the hotster but-"

"SO WHAT!?" Jane continued. "You wear a bra and you should be proud!"

Please tell me Jane did not just say that.

Well... Who knew this conversation could get even worse.

Not me... I assure you.

"Those Suffragettes fought for our right to wear a bra!"

What on earth is Charlotte on?

What Suffragettes?! Did they miss out a whole freakin' topic in History?

Because I can remember them fighting for equal rights and the vote and, you know, LIFE CHANGING, INSPIRATION SCHIZNIT but not 'the right to wear bras'.

This is why History should be made compulsory.

Or at least watching Horrible Histories should be...

That girl needs to watch more Mary Poppins...

"Be proud of what those women did for you Lizzie... Embrace your inner female."

You know what Lizzie... Just hide. Hide in the depths of your mind.

Maybe we can try that invisible trick all over again?

If we believe we are this wall... we shall become this wall.

"BE PROUD LIZZIE B!" Charlotte threw her fist in the air "BE PROUD TO WEAR A BRA!"

Okay... People are staring...

This isn't funny anymore.

Scrap that. This was NEVER funny now STOP! Please...

"I WEAR A BRA AND I'M PROUD!" Jane chanted.

Think like a chameleon. If we believe we are a chameleon, we become a-

"AND I HAVE A PERIOD!" Charlotte screamed.

Oh my god.

Run Lizzie. Just run.

But the only doors are the canteen-

DO YOU WANT TO STAY OUT HERE WITH YOUR FRIENDS CHANTING ABOUT BRAS AND PERIODS OR DO YOU WANT TO RUN THROUGH THE DOORS THAT OFFER SANCTUARY, AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS BUT A PROMISE OF CAKE AND JUNK FOOD!?

Right... through the doors it is.

I legged it down the corridor and burst through the doors.

WHY ARE THEY FOLLOWING ME?!

As soon as I was safe inside the café, Jane and Charlotte jogged up to me.

"Seriously... Is that all it took." Char smirked, walking past me towards are normal table "I should have screamed periods when we first left class. I started to worry we wouldn't get chance to eat."

Jane grinned and followed Char down to where the boys were sitting.

They-

But-

Oooohhh. Put the gun in the fridge Lizzie... Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Jane sat down opposite Bingley and Char sat down opposite Fitz leaving me the end seat in front of Will. Great.

Thanks you cowbaggy asshats.

I bet Jane only sat there so she can play footsie under the table with Bing.

OH YEAH JANE! I am on to you...

I sat down in my seat trying not to draw attention to myself.

Casual Lizzie... let's play this out cool. Let's play this out-

"Hey Elizabeth." Will looked up at me through his eyelashes, a slight blush in his cheeks.

Hehe... He's so pretty-

Ow!

WHAT THE-

My bag strap wrapped itself around the table leg and I fell into my seat... While banging off the table and jerking it to the side.. Sending all the plates flying... Like the sexy little lady I am.

Casual Lizzie... I'm sure no one noticed.

The whole table stared at me wondering what the fug had just landed.

DAMN YOU BOY!

Damn you and your pretty little eyes.

Note to self: Find whoever invented 'straps' and KILL THEM!

ASAP please...

Fitz grinned at me and then turned to Charlotte while I pulled out my lunch still trying to casual it out.

I am now a strong believer in believing.

If I believe it never happened... then it never-

Will suppressed a laugh as he bit his sandwich.

WHY DOES BELIEVING NEVER WORK!?

"I thought you guys were going to ditch us for a second back then." Fitz smirked.

"I know! How come it took you so long to get here? We've been waiting here for AGES!" Bingley sighed dramatically like the whole world was against him.

Can someone just get this guy an Oscar right now? Please?

"Lizzie locked herself in a toilet cubicle full of self-loathing and self-pity so we had to spend a good ten minutes coaxing her out and convincing her that there was still some kind of perks in her life. You know... excelsior and all that crap." Charlotte pinched one of Fitz's chips and shoved it in her mouth before he could complain.

"Why... What've you done now?"

"Nothing..." I replied in my best I-never-do-anything-so-I-can't-believe-you-just-as ked-me-that voice.

Nailed it.

Fitz scoffed and slapped away Charlotte's hand before she could steal more of his food.

"Yeah... sure."

Don't you just love the trust and confidence they have in me? I love it. I really do...

"Anyway" Jane said, taking control of the conversation "You said you wanted to speak to us about something...?"

"Yeah!" Char said, mouth full of Bingley's chips "You said you had a plan!"

That girl is officially disgusting.

I have seen pigs with better table manners.

I have seen FLEAS with better table manners.

I have seen-

"Yes we did..."

"Because we do." Fitz and Bingley looked at Will expectantly.

He chewed on his sandwich, bewildered, before swallowing and taking a sip of his water.

DANCING JESUS that guy is adorable. Even if he does eat brown bread. And drink water.

Still frackin' adorable.

"Erm…" Will looked at all of us in turn, and then at Fitz. "Is this about the-"

Fitz nodded.

"Do you want me to-"

Bingley nodded.

Man… Since when did we go all 007? That was weird…

I don't even think me and Jane could do that…

AND WE'RE TWINS!

Not that that means anything but- Ergh. Nothing.

"Well" Will began "We've thought of a way to guarantee us a place on the trip."

Char and Jane grinned and leaned forward in excitement.

Here we go…

"It's risky" He carried on "Idiotic, stupid and sure to get us all expelled-"

"This is why I said _I_ should tell the plan!" Fitz hissed to Bingley. "He's just going to ruin it."

Bingley glared at Will and shook his head slowly.

"Shameful…" He grated the finger of shame in Will's direction.

And they say I'M weird?!

What the hell is going on?

"Can someone just tell us the plan…?" I asked, trying to avoid Will's gaze.

I still don't think I'm ready to handle that intense, emerald glare without turning into a whole 38kg of flushed, blushing awkwardness.

"It's a stupid plan." Will said, rolling his eyes at me.

"IS NOT!" Fitz argued "This plan is 100% idiot proof!"

"When you say idiot proof do you mean, actual idiot proof, or Lizzie Bennet proof?" Charlotte grinned.

Whoa! COW!

I am not an idiot?! When have I ever messed up a plan?! Whe-

Okay. Don't answer that.

"Both." He winked.

Stupid muesli eating buttheads. OH!

HASHTAG BURN!

That will never get old…

Will dragged his hand down his face while Fitz and Bing began arguing over who should tell the 'ladies' the plan.

That right there Fitz, is why you have no girlfriend. Who refers to their female friends as "The ladies"? I'll tell you who… THE SINGLE GUY!

"You always get to showcase the plans!" Bing whined.

"It was kind of my idea actually, so I should say it." Fitz said, toying with his food.

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TOO!"

"WAS NOT!"

"WAS TO-"

"BOYS!" Will shouted over them, slamming his palms on the table.

Everyone went silent and stared at him until, eventually, they muttered, "Sorry mother."

Gosh that was hot.

"Fitz, let Bingley do it."

"WHAT!" Bingley blew a raspberry at Fitz when Will turned his head.

"You kind of always do it- AND" Will continued over Fitz's protests "It was actually my idea so-"

"It was _your_ idea!" I couldn't help but interrupt in disbelief.

"Yup." He smiled.

"I thought you thought it was a bad idea?" Charlotte joined in.

"I still do… I suggested it as a joke but-"

"YOU'RE RUNING IT!" Bingley screamed throwing a chip off his head.

"Sorry."

"Okay…" Bingley took a deep breath and prepared himself. "Can I have some mission impossible music please?"

Fitz put a hand over his mouth and started singing the Mission Impossible theme tune.

"Dun dun dun-dun dun dun dun-dun diddly doo"

"Tomorrow at exactly 1200pm" Bingley started in an unusually deep voice.

Wow Bing… You work it.

"We will break into Mr Hargleton's office and leave him a parcel containing all our permission slips, as well as an extra little… present."

"Present?"

"Cash" Bingley replied, waggling his eyebrows. "The envelope will be left of the desk, on top of the pile, then our agents shall leg it out of the office, he will open the letter, see the cash and be… _persuaded_ to give us the spots!"

"FAULT PROOF!" Fitz shouted, breaking his tune.

"Wait wait…" Charlotte held up her hand and looked up at the boys "You want us to_ bribe _him."

Fitz winked and Bingley nodded enthusiastically.

"Thank you" Will sighed, gesturing to Charlotte "Someone who agrees with-"

"THAT IS AN AMAZING IDEA!" She squealed.

Jane clapped her hands and hugged Bingley across the table while William banged his head off the table.

I would side with him but THAT IS A PRETTY FANTASTICAL IDEA!

We might actually have a chance…

"What good has ever come out of bribing people… Seriously?" Will said, his head still lying on the table.

Resist the urge to stroke his hair Lizzie… RESIST!

"Getting what you want…?" Fitz answered warily.

"Yeah but-"

"This argument isn't going anywhere is it?"

Will sighed and then collapsed onto the table in a heap again.

"No" He grumbled.

"WAHOO!" Bingley cheered "GAME ON!"

"So how are we going to get into the office?" Charlotte asked, excited.

That girl really needs to get out more.

Then again, you're the one sitting here trying to stop yourself from running your fingers through your friend's hair so- Yeah. You can't talk.

"Well… We just need a distraction really-"

"Who needs a distraction?" Mary stopped dead in front of our table blocking the light. She had one eyebrow raised and her tray balancing between her one good arm and cast. Anne stepped to her side and cocked up the same eyebrow.

It is freaky how much those two look alike.

They look more like sisters than we do.

"No one needs a distraction thank you very much." Will muttered from his cocoon of arms and jumper.

"Yes they do… You just said." Mary stepped closer and did her squinty-scary eye thing. "What are you guys up too…?"

"Nothing." We all replied a little too quickly.

"Mhhmmm" Anne smirked, hand on hip.

"Honest." I tried, smiling sweetly.

"Shut up Lizzie, I don't trust you as far as I could throw you."

WHA-

WHAT HAPPENED TO SISTERLY LOVE!? What a cow!

Though that was a pretty impressive eyebrow raise and monotone… BUT STILL!

"If you need a distraction, we're your people." Anne flicked her bob and smiled "It's what we do on a daily basis."

Did she just-

How the fishsticks can you flick a bob? Wow… Sassy.

"Maybe they could help-"

"NO!" Will shot up and cut of Fitz before he had chance to finish. "They most definitely are not!" He gave Fitz a meaningful look and glared.

He has a point.

The last thing I want is my little sister and the daughter of head governor, the Great C (Not to mention Will's Aunt), helping me break into a teachers office to leave them a bribe.

"Oh okay…" Mary readjusted her tray and smiled "I guess we could just go and tell him what you're planning then." She looked at Anne innocently, who winked.

I am simultaneously proud to call her my sister and ready to throttle her.

GIRL DID NOT JUST TRY TO OUT SASS US!

"Fine." Will sighed "You're in."

"Excellent." Anne clapped. They tossed their trays on the table and dropped down on Will's seat causing him to scoot across. "When do we start?"

Well… This, my friends, can only end badly…

* * *

**Author's Note (Again):**

**Erm... I would really like to know your thoughts on this... And how you think it went or was... Whatever I'm all written out.**

**I would also like to know your thoughts on how the lan is going to work out for themand what the final plan is... Any ideas? *grins mischievously* If you have the time of course... :D**

**Love you all!**

**-Ally.**

**P.S. For any Seahorses, Pemberlings, LBDers or Little Muffins, me and three friends from FF are doing an LBD related project on Tumblr called the LBD Olmpics. It will contain FanFiction and I thought you might want to check it out! tlbd-olympicsDOTtumblrDOTcom... Sorry for the spam! :D**


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